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Page 13 of Going Overboard

I really, really hate calling Emma the wedding… whatever she is, I’ll only get it wrong. Now more than ever though, I need the wedding cabin situation sorted, because I want to be around Todd as little as possible.

I’m a grown woman, I’m smart, I’m brave – I’m obviously deluded – but we move. I just need to suck it up, to call her, and then I’ll feel better.

‘Yes?’ Emma answers, clearly annoyed, and it makes me wonder if she might have saved my number under something like: ‘annoyance’ or ‘pain in the arse’.

‘Hi, Emma, it’s Jessa,’ I say brightly, hoping my cheery demeanour might be catching. Well, if I’m faking it, surely so can she.

‘Jessa,’ she says.

I don’t know if she’s wondering who I am, confirming that she knows it’s me, or what.

‘I’m just calling to check if the whole cabin situation is sorted yet?’ I say, all easy-breezy.

She exhales so hard it distorts the sound for a second .

‘Jessa, I have told you, I will sort it,’ she says through gritted teeth.

‘Oh, I know, I just wanted to check…’

‘I will sort it, Jessa, but you need to stop calling me, okay?’ she replies.

Bloody hell, what’s her problem?

‘I just wanted to check,’ I continue, trying to explain myself, but obviously only making it worse.

‘Jessa!’ she snaps. ‘I told you, I’ll sort it. I do have other jobs, you know. Other clients – and you are not one of them. Stop calling.’

‘Yep, okay,’ I say. My voice crackles, just a little, because, y’know, I’m having a shitty time lately, and it only seems to be getting worse, and I just want to make sure this is sorted.

Not just for myself, for Kelsey and Neil too, because this is their wedding, they’re the main characters.

I don’t want to steal the stage, not even briefly, like I did at Al and Kira’s wedding.

They were lovely about it – I mean, come on, Al gave me the shirt from his back, but I really wish it hadn’t happened.

‘I’m sorry if I’m bothering you,’ I tell her sincerely. ‘This is really important to me. I just… I need a room of my own. Not one with Todd. It’s not fair on either of us – or on Kelsey and Neil.’

There’s a pause. A paper shuffle. The faint sound of Emma restraining a scream.

‘It’s equally important to Todd that he has a room with his new partner,’ she says crisply.

‘What? He’s… bringing Nikki?’ I blurt – not that Emma is going to engage with me about this.

Another pause. Another sigh. Emma sounds like she’s aged five years just speaking to me.

‘Leave it with me,’ she says. ‘Be patient. It’ll get sorted.’

‘Thanks, Emma, it mea?— ’

She hangs up on me. Unbelievable!

I chew my lip for a second. Has Kelsey told Todd that he can bring Nikki to the wedding? Adding her as his plus-one doesn’t feel like something she would do but I’m too curious not to call.

‘Hey, you,’ she answers.

‘Hey,’ I reply.

‘Oh, no, what’s wrong?’ she asks, clearly hearing something in my voice, something I hadn’t intended to put in there.

‘I’m just going to spit it out,’ I tell her. ‘Did you tell Todd he could bring Nikki to your wedding?’

Kelsey groans.

‘Shit, Jessa, no, of course not,’ she replies. ‘But technically Nikki was already invited, she was one of Neil’s guests. So I suppose they’ve just decided they’re coming together.’

‘I just spoke with Emma – she was a delight, as always – and she said they were sharing a room,’ I tell her.

‘Do you want me to ask them not to?’ Kelsey replies like a shot. ‘It’s no big deal, I could talk to Emma?—’

‘No!’ My voice comes out louder than intended. I take a deep breath. ‘No. It’s fine. It won’t make a difference. It’s all good.’

For a second or two there’s just silence.

‘Jessa, are you sure? Because if you’re not okay with this, if it’s too much – I would rather postpone the wedding. I mean it. You’re my best friend. I want you to be there but I don’t want you to be miserable.’

That’s the thing about Kelsey. She means it. She’d do it. She’d cancel the whole thing with a polite smile. And that’s exactly why I have to go through with it. For her. Because if our roles were reversed, she’d do it for me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, summon all my fake confidence, and lie straight through my teeth.

‘I promise, it’s okay,’ I reassure her. ‘I’m okay. If he’s in a room with her then he’s not in a room with me, he’ll be distracted, and I can just focus on having a great time.’

She exhales, relieved.

‘Well, that sounds great to me,’ she tells me. ‘I love you.’

‘Love you too,’ I reply. ‘And I’m really, really looking forward to your super extra wedding, and watching you and Neil tying the knot. I really can’t wait.’

‘Oh, that means so much to me. Not long to go now!’

‘I know! Anyway, lovely, I have to go, speak later, yeah?’ I say, because if we end this call now, then it’s perfect.

‘Definitely, see you later,’ she replies.

As I hang up, I catch sight of myself in the mirror.

Ugh. What are you looking at, huh?

It’s going to be fine, it’s going to be fine… and if I keep saying that, it might come true.