Page 5

Veronica

Checking In

B efore finally heading to the condo, we make the next stop on my itinerary - a trip to the supermarket and liquor store to stock up for the next few days. I’m not joking, this was on the plan I emailed to Lizzy and Collin for the next couple of weeks.

I need to grab a few specific things since I volunteered, well more like demanded, that I get to do most of the cooking on our nights in. Cooking has always been a passion of mine. Back in Ohio I rarely have the time to entertain and host dinners. Most of my favorite meals to cook are classic ski trip meals like chicken chili, Thai curry, and lasagna, which are meant for a large group and just don’t work well to cook for one. That is unless I want leftovers for days. Sometimes it’s just plain depressing.

At home, I largely end up spending my Sunday nights alone, making my schedule and meal prepping for the week. It’s pretty healthy, saves time, and saves money. Practical Veronica wins out again. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always enjoyed these trips. From the old days cooking in the kitchen with my Grandma to now, where I welcome the chance to stimulate my culinary curiosity and share that passion with the ones closest to me.

After stopping in town and hitting the grocery store, we’re finally at the condo. It’s nothing exciting or glamorous, a modest two bedroom, two bathroom split level unit built in the seventies with basically no updates since then. But it’s ours, owned outright by our grandparents before leaving it to us instead of our dad, who had a strained relationship with them over his treatment of Collin and rarely ever visited them in Wyoming. Our grandparents were the most loving and supportive people, something we needed compared to our lives back home. But still, Collin and I now own this place, which is quite the accomplishment these days in Jackson.

The dated old building still has its subtle charm. A classic ski vacation condo styled on the outside like a Swiss chalet. We’re greeted by the white stucco building with charming dark wooden spindles adorning the balconies and matching dark wooden accents along the eaves of the steeply pitched roof, capped off by a set of stone chimneys poking out of it.

We walk into the ground floor entrance and into the mudroom with its wood paneled walls, painted white now in a modest attempt to modernize the place, and drop our bags. Along the wall there’s a bench that our Grandpa made for putting on ski boots, racks and hooks for skis, helmets, ski poles, and all of our other gear. In the corner there’s a closet with a stacked washer and dryer and a hamper. It’s great to be able to do laundry and not have to over pack for these longer trips.

Standing by the door, Lizzy squeezes past Collin and I frantically, looking for the bathroom.

“Thinking twice about all the mimosas now, aren’t we Lizzy?” I tease.

Watching her run into the bathroom as we step out of her way, I palm my face and shake my head. That girl.

I make my way off the landing down the half flight of steps to the open floor plan dining and living area. The room has the same painted white, wood paneled walls, stretching all the way to the lofted ceilings twenty feet overhead. I go through the dining area and sprawl out on the oversized brown leather couch in the living room, facing the floor to ceiling stone fireplace.

Oh, that fireplace.

Seeing it brings warmth to my heart, even if we don’t have a fire going yet. I can’t help but smile at all the memories of holidays spent at the condo, sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace gleefully opening presents on Christmas morning. It feels great to be here as I sink into the comfy couch and think about the memories made here.

“Collin, you’re in the bunk room right?” My voice carries across the condo as he comes in from the mudroom. Perks of an open floor plan.

“Yep. Already took the top bunk.” Oh, Collin, just like the old days. Off of the landing is another short set of stairs going up to the other bathroom and two bedrooms, ours with twin bunk beds. Ugh. So many jokes about twins with twin bunk beds over the years.

“Great. We can let Lizzy have the other bedroom to herself. Would you mind dropping my bags in the bunk room with yours?” I ask, now draped over the armrest with my head resting on my crossed arms, observing him in the doorway at the top of the landing.

“Sure thing, my lady,” he says with his best fake British accent, dipping his head and making an exaggerated curtsy. I guess he’s now the house jester too.

It feels good to be here again with him though. The last few years, my busy work schedule hasn’t allowed me to come at the same time as him. I did come out soon after Grandpa passed, but Collin wasn’t able to that time. Being here together again just feels right, like home, more so than home with our parents back in Ohio.

“Well thank you, good sir,” I reply, playing into his theatrics, my fake accent not nearly as convincing as his.

Lizzy emerges from the bathroom, a relieved look on her face.

“Well I don’t know about you guys, but I could eat. Even with lunch in town, travel still takes a lot out of me. Tonight’s curry, right?” She asks, looking back in my direction as she plops down at the dining room table.

“Yep. Thai green curry with chicken,” I say, reminding them what the menu is for tonight. I swear these two don’t listen sometimes and they’re even worse together, which is a slightly terrifying development.

Thai green curry has always been one of my favorite dishes, especially on ski trips with others. A few quality ingredients go a long way to making it great. It’s such a fun and surprisingly simple dish to cook.

Who am I kidding, when it comes to cooking nothing is simple or an afterthought with me. I literally planned out the dinners I was going to make for the nights we’re staying in this week. I even brought my favorite brand of Thai curry paste and palm sugar for tonight in my checked luggage because the stuff at the grocery store is never as good. This is also why I wouldn’t let Collin do my grocery shopping ahead of time and insisted on going today to pick my own ingredients.

I think a sense of control is one of the many reasons I love cooking. Maybe that’s why it can calm me down on some of my worst days. Unlike my professional life where I can do everything according to plan and still get nothing rewarding out of it, with cooking, there is an immediate tangible result if I do things right. It feels calming to be in control of the outcome for a change.

Lizzy joins me in the kitchen. She’s not the most helpful, especially in the cramped kitchen, but it’s a welcome change from cooking at home, which normally means cooking alone.

“Don’t just sit around and let us ladies do all the work, Collin. Go get the good knives out. How have you been using these knives we leave out for the renters the last few days? They’re complete garbage,” I call out from the kitchen to Collin, who’s lounging in the living room.

“Hey, we’re not all cooking gurus. A knife’s a knife to me,” Collin says on his way to the closet by the mudroom.

Ever since we started renting the condo when we’re not here, we have kept a separate owner’s closet with a lock. We don’t keep too much in there, just things we don’t want renters to have free reign of.

Collin is back in a minute handing them over before slinking back over to the couch, enjoying the fire that’s blazing away now.

Good knives in hand, the rest of the prep work goes smoothly. Lizzy tries to help in the kitchen, but she’s mostly there for moral support, glass of wine in hand. I do let her cut some of the veggies so she feels like she’s making a contribution. After a while she takes note of the tool in her hand, looking at it as she flips her wrist over looking at each side of the blade.

“Wow. Collin’s friend’s knives really are nice. I mean they aren’t as pretty as the ones back at the shop but even I can tell a difference.” She looks over at Collin, rolling her eyes.

Yeah, Lizzy. That’s why we keep them put away until we’re here.

As I’m finishing up cutting the chicken, I notice Collin’s box of protein bars on the counter. Ugh. My mind drifts back to work. Their packaging is terrible, all single use plastics, generic graphics. I think about Earth SnaX and feel a small sense of excitement, even pride, over what we have ready to propose for them. The presentation is just a little over a week away now and I still keep thinking about Jeff screwing it up somehow.

As my mind drifts off to the presentation and work emails, I’m brought back to reality as I feel a sharp pang in one of my fingers.

“Ah shit!” I yelp, realizing I nicked one of my fingers with the knife.

I drop it, and it clangs off the counter towards the floor. The razor sharp tip digs itself into the wooden floor, handle pointing back at me, landing precariously between my foot and Lizzy's. Shit that was close.

“V! You ok in there?” I see Collin rushing over, obvious concern on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Nothing serious. Just go get the first aid kit,” I say, holding my finger in a paper towel, applying pressure.

“Where’s your head at girl? I’ve never seen you mess up in the kitchen. And you nearly took off one of my freshly manicured toes too!” Lizzy says, looking a bit frazzled as well.

“Sorry guys,” I say as Collin returns with the first aid kit, “my mind drifted off to work for a bit and I guess I just zoned out.”

At this point, my finger is bandaged and I can get my mind back on track to finish making dinner.

“Alright. This kitchen is too tiny and I don’t want anyone losing a toe,” I say, kicking Lizzy and Collin out.

They sit at the dining table like kids in timeout, still in view and conversation range, but no more need for their help in the small kitchen.

After combining the last of the ingredients in the pot for dinner, I’m finally able to take my glass of wine and sit near them on the couch in front of the fire. Sitting down with my feet up, I can relax while waiting on the curry. Should only be about thirty minutes or so with the heat simmering low.

The pain in my finger is now a dull ache drifting away.

We chat for a bit, thinking about the day shopping in town, and the day of skiing ahead of us tomorrow. Sitting here on the couch, catching up and bullshitting with Collin and Lizzy while they sit at the dining room table, I’m taken aback by the scene.

The way they’re laughing and chatting, across from each other at the table, glasses of wine in hand. I know they’re not a couple, but they look like one.

It reminds me of when Collin and I would be playing in the living room in front of the fire as kids. Our grandparents would enjoy a night cap, reminiscing about the day, their lives, sitting at that very same dining room table, in the same seats Collin and Lizzy are now. Smiling, laughing, just in love, no signs of it slowing down over the years.

God I want that.

It’s amazing being here with Collin, and now Lizzy, but I want more. I want someone to cook with in the little kitchen. I want someone to stand on the balcony with, watching the sunrise. I want someone to sit in front of the fire with, holding me as we doze off after a long day on the slopes. I want someone to share this place with.

Their love seemed perfect and timeless. I remember Grandpa even had Grandma’s engagement and wedding ring custom made for her because he always said nothing at any of the jewelry stores was worthy of his dream woman.

“Hey weirdo. What’s up? You’ve been oddly quiet over there,” Collin says as I snap back into the moment.

Shit. I’ve been daydreaming about finding love and staring off at Collin and Lizzy a bit too long I guess.

“Oh. Yeah sorry. I’m not sure where my head is at today.” No lie there. Even though I feel a sense of relief and calm being here, my head is still all over the place.

“Uh oh. I know that look,” Lizzy says, looking at me shaking her head. She’s got a glass of wine in one hand, finger to her lips, and a wide grin forming. “You need to get laid, V. You’re stressed the fuck out. Your head is a mess. You nearly just took off one of my damn toes.”

“Eww, Lizzy. I’m right here,” Collin says, covering his ears and shuddering. My face is already bright red as I cringe at this back and forth unfolding in front of me.

“Come on, Collin. Like… look at her? Don’t you have some weird twin connection? You’re probably the only one that knows her better than me.” Lizzy gestures at me, hand outstretched, palm up, waving it as if telling him to look at whatever… this… is. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Ouch, Lizzy. She’s not totally wrong though. It has been a while since I had any intimate encounters. After my last serious relationship ended years ago, I’ve been afraid to put myself back out there. Sometimes I debate what’s worse, being alone or the fear of dating. And it sucks, because fine, Lizzy is fucking right. I do have needs. I do like sex. No, I love it. But the idea of a random meaningless hookup, ick. I want it with someone that I feel a real connection with, someone that ignites sparks in me and makes my skin tingle. I want someone that I feel like I can trust too.

“Ugh… yeah… V. We love you, but she’s got a point. You need to unwind,” he says with a faint sigh followed by another small shudder, clearly trying to erase the thought from his mind.

Damn.

“Oh screw you guys. We are not having this conversation. Yes, I would love to have a partner. But no, I don’t need to get fucked.”

“ Oh yeah. We can put get fucked on your itinerary, right next to find Lizzy a cowboy.” Collin laughs at his own joke, but Lizzy and I aren’t as amused, collectively glaring back at him.

“ Ok . That’s harsh, Collin . But V, I mean come on… it certainly wouldn’t hurt,” Lizzy says with a wink, “just something to think about.” She makes a quick kissy face at me, sassing me as always.

“Ugh. Enough already. Can we just not guys?” My patience is wearing thin now. “I get where you’re coming from. But also, one night stands just aren’t my thing. I don’t want to just hook up with some rando. You know me better than that.”

After rejoining them at the dining room table for another glass of wine, ok maybe a glass and a half after that conversation, it’s time to take the curry off and serve it. I get up from the table and head over to the kitchen.

Opening the pot, I inhale deeply. Spicy and aromatic, a hint of sweetness from the coconut milk and palm sugar. It smells wonderful, perfect for a cozy low key dinner on a cold night like this. Looking outside the sliding glass doors along the back wall of the condo, snow is starting to fall steadily on the deck.

“Well, dinner is ready,” I say with a sense of pride. “Alright girls, come grab a dish and serve yourself.” I announce as I turn to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc to replace the empty one at the table.

At last I can head to the dining room table, dish of curry in one hand, bottle of wine in the other.

We’re all hungry and clearly thirsty. It’s been a long day. Dinner smells and tastes amazing. Collin and Lizzy must feel the same way. I haven’t heard a peep out of them since pouring their wine, as they dig in. I let out a sigh and a quiet content smile takes over my face as they enjoy dinner.

My brief moment of peace is interrupted though by another thought creeping into the back of my mind.

Maybe… they’re right?

My head has been in a better space since we got here, but it’s

still a mess. Maybe I do need to get some . It’s been forever since I’ve had a release, well one not from my own fingers or nightstand drawer partners. Fuck. I do want that.