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Another Night with Me

“S eriously, bud. I don’t know how you got so lucky to spend most of your nights with me. But we have to stop making a habit of lonely nights.”

I look at Rex in the passenger seat, as I drive through the snow, our usual nightly routine, the radio low in the background.

“I know, Rex. It’s way more fun when she’s here and you get to sit in the middle. You’ll just have to settle for another night with me.”

Driving through the snow, looking at the snowbanks along the side of the road, my mind is a mess. Before the last couple weeks, my mind always drifted through a bitter cycle of loneliness, depression, and anger.

The last two weeks though, I’ve felt alive . I’ve felt happy. I’ve felt hopeful. These last couple of weeks have been the best time of my life.

I always knew I loved her, but I never realized how much she would make me feel whole, how much she’d push me to open up and be the best version of myself. She understands me.

I still feel alive now, even with her back in Ohio. She lit a fire in my cold dark heart. But now I feel desperate, a driving need to get what we had back. To feel whole again, forever.

I need to fix this, to make things right. I hurt Ronni, the one thing I never wanted to do, and now all I can think about is fixing it. I promised her she could trust me, that I’d keep fighting for this. But I keep going back to what she said back at the cabin after our dinner at Gloria’s.

It’s your turn to trust me. I might have a bad day, I might panic, you’re not always going to be able to fix everything for me. But trust that I’m going to keep loving you. Justkeep fighting for it.

I look over at Rex, he’s staring right back at me. It’s like he finally knows what I’m thinking.

“I know Rex, we’ve got a lot of work to do tonight. It’s time to fight.”