Page 29

Veronica

Twin Powers

A fter leaving the bar, our newly bonded posse walks across Cache Street to the town square. Lizzy is still enamored with the charm of downtown Jackson, insisting on seeing all of the old western storefronts and wooden boardwalks. The scene is made all the more beautiful by the sparkling white Christmas lights wrapped around the trees and elk antler arches in the town square. A steady snowfall completes the picturesque evening.

Lizzy and Collin lead the way, with Collin in much better shape than the last time he left a bar. Even after the tour on Friday, she still wants the full history lesson of downtown Jackson.

They’ve become fast friends, a wonderful platonic dynamic duo. Walking behind them, I can just hear Lizzy asking Collin if he wants to come out to Aspen Valley with us in February. I’m still not sure what to make of them though. Their sarcastic, snarky personalities seem to be melding into my own personal bully, always ready to taunt or tease me.

“So Lizzy, you think I could take that bear or are you like V?” Collin asks her, holding his fists up and flexing his arms.

“I don’t know, it’s a pretty small bear. But V’s right, it’s still a fucking bear,” she guffaws before taking a sip of her beer she smuggled out of the bar.

“Ugh. You guys suck,” Collin scoffs.

“Maybe you should train a little harder in the gym, bro. Put those personal trainer skills to use on yourself,” Tanner says. “Pack on a few pounds of muscle and you might finally convince me you could take down Little Bitch Bear.”

Collin turns his back toward us, rolling his eyes.

“Very funny, Chap,” he says, before turning his attention back to the sidewalk in front of him. He leads us through the center of the town square past the ice rink towards one of the arches on the opposite corner.

“So, what’s the plan tomorrow again?” Lizzy asks, looking back to me.

Before I can even answer, Tanner’s deep voice cuts through the cool night air.

“8:30 Tram Center, I’ll bring coffees. We can get a full ski day in while everyone is hungover and have the slopes practically to ourselves all morning. Then figure out something for dinner. That sound good to you guys?”

Lizzy and Collin both shrug their shoulders and nod.

Tanner looks to me next. It’s more or less what I had originally planned, but still. It’s nice not to have everyone looking to me for my plan all the time. It sucks feeling like people are always on edge around me, treading lightly. Like if they go against my plan, I’ll be an anxious mess. It’s not like I want to be like this all the time. I don’t want to have to be in control.

“Yeah, Tanner. Sounds perfect,” I say. “We can see how everyone’s doing around lunch time and play dinner by ear.”

“Awesome,” he says smiling, “and sometime this week, we need to get dinner with Grandma. She’s been dying to see you guys.”

“I could definitely use some more Grandma Chapman in my life. Christmas Day wasn’t enough. Ugh those cookies and her chicken pot pies. So good. Sign me up, Chap.” Collin is practically drooling by the time he finishes talking. Shoot, even I’m hungry now thinking about her cooking.

“Definitely, Tanner. Count me in,” I say.

“You know me guys. I’m always happy to put down some food,” Lizzy says, shrugging her shoulders. “Now, can we keep walking? It’s cold as shit here.”

As Lizzy and Collin start walking down the winding sidewalk through the square, I cozy up to Tanner. I let my hand brush his while we walk side by side.

“Thanks, Tanner,” I whisper.

He looks at me, a puzzled expression on his face. “For what?”

“For making the plans for tomorrow. It drives me nuts when everyone always looks to me for what they’re allowed to do. Like somehow, I have to approve everything. It’s a reminder that I do struggle with anxiety. Just because planning helps my anxiety doesn't mean I actually like it. ”

“Oh. Well, thank you for letting me know. I’ll be sure to do it again.” He smiles for a second before looking ahead at Collin and Lizzy. Hearing him say this, I know he’ll do this again too. It’s like if I say something or ask for something one time, it’s lodged in his memory forever.

We walk through the square, still cautiously lagging behind Collin and Lizzy. We reach one of the elk antler arches, glistening with white Christmas lights. I feel Tanner’s hand slowly grab mine, holding it tightly. I look up at him, his beautiful smile, those piercing green eyes staring into me, stripping away my layers of anxiety and self doubt, planting me firmly in the here and now.

I feel at peace in a way I can’t remember. I deserve this. I don’t care if Collin or Lizzy sees. I still don’t know what this is or where it’s going, but I do know this is the best I’ve felt about life, about myself, in ages. I’m going to enjoy every second of my time with this man because who knows when I’ll feel like this again.

Time to be more like him.

Send it, V.

I lean forward, standing on my tippy toes to reach his face. I pull him towards me, one hand on his lower back, one cupping his softly stubbled face. Our lips meet and it feels like time stops.

He kisses me back, his lips longing for me. He pulls me in closer now, one hand on my hips and the other on my nape. I begrudgingly pull away, our foreheads still pressed together. I can feel his warm breath on me in the cold night air. I’m close enough to feel his heart pounding in his chest, like mine.

“Tanner, I think I’m falling for you,” I say, practically whispering to him.

“Well, Ronni,” he says, his deep voice lowered, matching my whisper, “I started falling for you years ago and now I finally feel like my feet are on the ground here with you.”

The magical moment is interrupted by Collin’s familiar presence as he clears his throat with exaggerated ahem.

Fuck. Whatever. I’m ready for it. I deserve what I have with Tanner right now. Not even Collin can take that away.

I look at Tanner, his face is much more concerned. I know he was dreading this moment.

“Well?” Collin’s voice is low, darker than usual. He looks at us, his wide eyes taking in the picture. Lizzy is next to him, but she’s easy to read. Her jaw is dropped, but only for a moment as it turns into a wide grin as she starts to nod her head in approval. But Collin, his face is still blank.

Shit. What is he thinking?

My twin powers aren’t kicking in. I have no sense of what is going through his mind.