Page 88 of Endure the Pain

“I know someone like you. They too had to endure something painful when they were seventeen and they killed those who had wronged them in the most painful way possible. Revenge is bittersweet. It’s only satisfying until it’s over. Then you’re left wishing you could kill them again, just to feel that small moment of control and peace once more.” I glanced down at the beads again. “You like to recreate how you killed your father because you’re searching to feel that moment. Maybe you feel it or maybe you’re the definition of crazy. The thing is, no matter how many times you pretend you’re killing him, it won’t bring back what he took from you.”

Dario leaned closer. “It’s still satisfying even if it only lasts a moment.”

I knew that. It was why I was here.

Dario looked at Nicoli, who had been watching Dario and I interact. “You’re right, Nic. She’s different. Maybe there is hope for our two families to make peace.”

“Aw, Nicky, have you been talking about me?” I teased.

“Why are you here, Maura?” Nicoli asked.

I schooled my face. “I’m here to make you a deal.” I held my hand out to my goons. They were standing no more than a few feet away. Asher retrieved a folded piece of paper from his pocket and put it in my hands. I handed it to Dario, who passed it down to Nicoli. “Instead of money for your next…order,I want what is on that list instead.”

Nicoli unfolded the paper and read the list. “Your family is the largest arms dealer on the entire east coast of the United States. Why are you asking me for this?”

“I’m not here as a Quinn,” I said.

“Yet you’re using fifty kilos of Quinn powder as currency,” he shot back. “Your father is going to kill you.”

I smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile, but a sinister one. “I doubt it. Regardless, it’s my business.”

Nicoli threw down my list on the table. “It becomes my business if I’m taking the risk of losing my pipeline.”

I sighed. “Did you know our Colombian supplier sells to me and not Stefan? How do you think I obtained your order even though I’ve been away from home for months?” I stood from my chair. “The only thing you’re risking, Nicky, is pissing me off. Think about my offer, then come find me,” I said and walked away, back through the restaurant and outside into the busy city.

I was sure it wouldn’t take him long to locate the hotel where I was staying.

CHAPTER 30

“Do you think De Luca will come through?” Brenna asked from where she was lying on the bed that she had claimed in our hotel room. She and I were sharing a room, while our goons shared two others. Finn and Vincent were in the room across the hall. Dean and Asher were next door. There was a door that connected their room to ours that Asher insisted stay open in case we needed them. It was cracked at the moment to give us a little privacy.

Sitting on my bed, I flipped through the channels on the TV, not finding anything good to watch. It had only been a few hours since I had met with Nicoli and I found the waiting around harder than it should have been. Without having something to occupy my time, my thoughts kept trying to wander.

Deeming it a lost cause, I turned the TV off and gave my full attention to Brenna. “I’d like to think that he will, but I still have doubt and haven’t been able to let go of my caution when it comes to him. Our families have a long history of animosity. Trust is going to take time.”

Brenna fiddled with her long blonde hair and picked at the ends. “Is that why you make me stay in the car every time you meet with him?”

“Yes and no. I want you to hold onto your invisibility for as long as you can, because once you’re a known player in this dangerous game we all play, there’s no going back.”

“You think I might change my mind?” she asked accusingly.

“You might,” I said as gently as I could. “You haven’t taken a life yet.”

She sat up, anger radiating from her. “You think I won’t be able to handle it?”

“Would it be a bad thing if you couldn’t?”

“I guess we’ll find that out soon, won't we?”

Sadly, that was true. It was another boulder of guilt I’d have to carry around—dragging her into all of this.

I sighed and also sat up so I could level my gaze with hers. “I’m not doubting you, Brenna. I will support you in whatever decision you make. I just want you to be sure that this is the right path for you, okay?”

She nodded reluctantly and began fiddling with her hair again. “I want to cut my hair.”

An aura of eagerness had come over her that gave me pause. “Right now?”

“Will you cut it for me?” she asked.