Page 52 of Endure the Pain

“Brody told me last night how you had discovered us and that you weren’t surprised.”

“Is that why you’re here? To find out how long I’ve known your secret?” I studied him. “You’re here to do damage control. What are you going to do? Threaten me so I won’t tell anyone?”

“How can you read everyone so easily, yet you are so blind when it comes to me?” He let out a heavy sigh. “I guess it’s my fault…no, I know it’s my fault.”

Maybe if he talked to me or didn’t always mask what he was feeling, I wouldn’t have had to assume everythingwith him. He was damn right that he had no one else to blame but himself.

“I didn’t come here to find out anything. I was just curious.” He stalked over to the couch and took a seat.

“Then why are you here?“ I asked again.

“My first instinct is and always will be to protect you,” he said. “When I saw you with Louie I thought…if the family had found out that you were unfaithful to Jameson, they would have ostracized you. All the support you’ve gained? They would have abandoned you. They would have deemed you nothing more than a cheating whore and Jameson would have had every right to kill Louie.”

“Everyone knew Samuel was an adulterous bastard and yet no one batted an eye,” I argued.

“Samuel wasn’t sleeping with a claimed woman. He sought women outside the family.”

Beyond annoyed, I huffed. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I had found a man outside the family. Everyone still would have viewed me as a whore.”

He didn’t dispute that. “Women have always been held to a different standard than men. You’ve always known this.”

I shook my head, mumbling, “Fucking hypocritical bastards.”

“If you want change, then you need to play the game and get your ass in my chair. I’ve done what I can in my time to lay the path for you, weeding through the leaders of this family, searching for those who’d be open minded to change and eliminating those who would not. I’d saved your uncle for last. Not because he was my brother, but because I wanted his downfall to be humiliating.”

My brow furrowed. “Why?”

“I’m not ready to share that story.” What appeared to be sadness flashed in his eyes. “I knew from the very beginning what Sam had been up to—the deal he made with De Luca and that he was lining his pockets. I didn’t want to go after him right away. I bided my time, trying to think of the best way to take him down. Then you came home.”

Fury swept through me and into my voice. “You used me?”

“No,” he bit out. “I laid an opportunity at your feet to prove yourself. It was a bonus that you—a woman—ousted Sam and his crimes. It was the perfect humiliation.”

I needed to sit down. He was frying my nerves with all the honesty.

“I’m sorry, Maura,” he said in a low voice. “For not listening to you last night. I allowed my need to protect my daughter to take over me.”

Holy shit.

I had to swallow once, twice to keep myself calm. “What was your plan last night? With me and Louie? You ordered Louie to be taken down to the basement. Were you going to kill him?”

He leveled his gaze with mine. “I was taking you to Brody’s office, intending to lecture you for your stupidity. Then I was going to go find Louie. I would have threatened him. Knowing that he’d never want to hurt his best friend, he’d agree to give you up until you properly ended things with Jameson. I planned to kill my security after that. As we both know, Hank likes to run his mouth, and I couldn’t risk what they had seen getting out.” There was nothing but honesty in his eyes.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked to the ground. My eyes burned as the dam I had created last night to hold my emotions at bay broke.He apologized.

I sniffled, but I was able to keep my tears from falling. “I don’t know how or when I started assuming you were gay. Maybe it’s because I’ve never seen you look at women or try to have a relationship with one. There was that one maid you slept with, but I saw your regret and disgust toward her afterward. I guess as your daughter, I pay attention to you more than anyone else. Well, besides Brody.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after you discovered Brody and I?” he asked gently.

“I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. I had hoped that one day we would get to a place where we could talk to each other—tell each other things.”

“Was that why you were waiting to tell me about your new dynamic with Louie?”

“I wanted time to enjoy our happy bubble before everyone tried to pop it with their small-mindedness,” I answered.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together. “You admit that your relationship is…unorthodox.”

I arched a brow at him.