Page 20 of Endure the Pain

I took a bite of my dinner as well and caught her relaxing a little, as if relieved. “How’s school? It’s your senior year?”

She began poking at her food with her fork. “Yeah. It’s good.”

“Have you thought about college?” I pushed.

“Like I’ll ever get to go.” She grimaced right after the words left her mouth and her eyes went wide. Looking panicked, she peeked at Dylan and her mother. Dylan was busy talking to Louie, but her mother was giving her an evil scowl that held some sort of warning. Brenna’s eyes dropped to her plate. I watched her as she tugged at her sleeve until it was practically pulled down to her fingers. She went back to pushing around her food while she chewed on her lip.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her sleeve as a ball of anxiety grew in the pit of my stomach. I knew what I wasseeing. I recognized all the signs. I just desperately didn’t want it to be true. Light caught on her lone silver ring. It was a simple band with the infinity symbol etched into the metal.

“That’s a pretty ring,” I said and held my hand out for hers.

She set down her fork and placed her hand in mine. I pulled her hand closer, but not to my face. I guided her hand between us off and below the table so no one could see. Before she realized what I was doing, I tightened my hold and yanked up her sleeve to her elbow.

Bruises covered her fair skin.

Brenna quickly yanked her sleeve back down and glanced at her brother and mother to see if they'd seen. It didn’t appear that they had, but I still refused to let her go.

“Did he do this to you or was it both of them?” I demanded in a whisper. Two times she looked to Dylan first, a clear indication of who she was afraid of more.

She tried to yank her arm away again, but she couldn’t put a lot of strength behind it or we’d be noticed. “No one did this to me. I did it. I was sad about my father.” Her words came out almost as if they were practiced.

“I can protect you,” I said, still making sure no one heard me.

“Maura, please. You’re going to make it worse,” she pleaded.

I let her go.

I couldn’t stop myself from staring across the table at Dylan and Aoife. Both were none the wiser as Dylan continued to talk with everyone and Aoife was back in fucking La La Land. My heart was racing, my anger was overwhelming, and I had to grind my teeth to keep myself from screaming.

A hand grasped my wrist. I glanced down at it and saw that I had a steak knife, held tightly in my fist. I didn’t remember grabbing it from where it had been lying on the table next to my plate.

“Maura,” Stefan said in a low voice. My gaze traveled up to meet his. “Let go of the knife,” he ordered and went to take it with his other hand.

I found it hard to loosen my fist. I unraveled my fingers one at a time, until he was able to pull the knife away. My fingers were sore from the strain and my palm stung. I turned my hand face up, finding small cuts from my nails.

“Maura,” Stefan said, but I didn’t meet his gaze.

I was too ashamed.

I stood from my chair.

“You okay, baby?” Jamie asked.

I nodded. “I’m going to get some juice,” I lied, needing to get out of there.

“I can get it for you, Miss Maura,” Noah said. I hadn’t realized he was still in the room. All I could do was pretend I hadn't heard him and dart into the kitchen.

Jeana was putting tinfoil over leftovers to keep the food warm. She asked if I needed anything as I walked by. I pointed at the pantry. I didn’t have a plan and wasn’t in the right state of mind to think about the best way to be alone.

Inside the pantry, I let out a ragged breath and hugged myself.

Did I do this?

My chest felt heavy with guilt. My eyes caught on the many bottles of whiskey on the shelf and temptation gnawed at me. Remembering my promise to Jamie, I smothered the temptation and that frustrated me more.

My breathing started to pick up and my heart was pounding. I was angry. I was sad. I was riddled with guilt.

I should have stood up to Stefan sooner.