Page 71 of Endure the Pain

“We really need to find something healthier for you to eat, Maura,” Stefan had said.

“Peanut butter has protein in it,” I’d pointed out before shoving another onion ring into my mouth.

“It doesn’t matter what she eats, as long as she does. She hasn’t been able to keep anything down all day,” Jamie had grumbled. Him coming to my defense had made me so happy, I had started crying.

They all had stared at me in shock, unsure what they should do, like I was a freak in the circus with one eye and three breasts. “I don’t know why this keeps happening.” I had sniffled and quickly wiped away my tears. “It’s all Jellybean’s fault.”

After we got our shakes, we found a table to sit at so I could eat the onion rings Dean had gotten me. After one heavenly sip of chocolaty peanut butter goodness, I took off the lid and dipped an onion ring into the shake.

Brenna watched me with fascination as she sipped her own shake. “Your spawn has you craving crazy things, huh?”

I chuckled. “Yup.”

“Would it be rude if I asked if it was Jamie’s or Louie’s?” she asked.

“If you were anyone else, yes. But regardless, I won’t tell. They both view it as their own, even though theyknow the truth as to who the father really is, and that’s all that should matter.”

She smiled. “That’s really awesome. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.” I leaned back in my chair, nibbling on another onion ring. “How’s school?”

“It’s going good. It’s nice not having to wear a school uniform all the time or dealing with snobby bitches.”

Stefan had sent me to a private school, but it hadn't been an all-girls school. So I could only imagine how much it must have sucked. “Have you thought about what colleges you want to attend?”

She stared down at her milkshake. “What if I don’t want to go to college?”

“What is it you want to do?”

I could tell she was choosing her words carefully. She straightened her shoulders and met my eyes, doing her best to exude strength. “I want to work for the family. I want to work my way up the ranks and earn a seat at the table, just like you. I want to do what my father and brother failed to do—to help this family thrive for the better. I want to be respected. I watched my father beat my mother for as long as I can remember, and as soon as I grew boobs, he started hitting me. I used to think there was no escaping this life and that it would get even worse after he married me off, because they too would beat me and probably rape me. I refuse to be treated like that ever again and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else either. Stefan has caused a rift by naming you as heir. I’ve heard my brother ranting about it with others. They know change is coming and they don’t like it. Saving me most likely added fuel to the fire. So I want to help.”

I stared at her intently as I absorbed her words. “You want to become a mobster, huh?”

“I do,” she said with surety.

I wanted to talk her out of it. The thing with teenagers, though, was if you fought them on something, they tended to want it more. “Alright. I’ll help you, but under one condition.”

“What?”

“You still have to go to college,” I said, and she scrunched her nose. “I went to college and I use what I learned there every day. You can go to school during the day and do mobster training in the evenings.”

“Deal,” she agreed.

We went in and out of stores for the next couple of hours. Poor Dean's and Finn’s arms were full of bags, but in our defense, they'd offered to carry. I was having a great time bonding with Brenna by doing something as mundane as shopping. I’d almost forgotten how nice itwas to hang out with another girl. I hadn’t since Tina. Her betrayal had left me a little jaded when it came to seeking out another girlfriend.

“Let’s go look in here,” Brenna said and practically dragged me into a baby store. “Oh my gosh! Look how adorable this is.” She beelined for the baby girls’ clothes and pulled a tiny pink tutu off the rack to show me.

It was really cute. “I don’t know what I’m having yet,” I mumbled as I touched a tiny blue suit for a baby boy.

“You can get something that’s unisex. Buying for a baby is supposed to be fun and exciting,” she said before leaving me to look further into the store. A wall of tiny baby shoes caught my eye. Smiling, I made my way over there. I picked up a tiny pair of crocheted lamb slippers. The tag said they were for a newborn.

“Is there something that I can help you find?” a feminine, heavily Irish-accented voice asked, and my entire body broke out in goosebumps. I turned to face the source and I felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I met gray eyes that felt oddly familiar, yet I couldn’t place them. The lady had chestnut brown hair and was really thin. She was older, fifties maybe, and under a heavy layer of makeup I could still see freckles splashed across her nose and cheeks.

“Are you alright, miss?” she asked and touched my upper arm. “You’re a little pale.”

Her touch seemed to snap me out of my stupor. “I’m sorry?”

She smiled and it felt forced. “Did you need help finding something?”