Page 49 of Dark Souls
Choices
“Y ou knew the Knowltons were keeping Demonski Upirs captured? And you did nothing about it?” I screamed at my grandpapi, slamming my hands down on the table.
Everyone in the room seemed to be frozen in a state of disbelief at the unveiling of secrets that had spiralled in the last ten minutes to even string a sentence together. But that was fine. It wasn’t them I needed answers from. It was the man I had always looked up to, the man I adored and thought the fucking sun shone out of his ass. The man who had always taught me to stand up for what was right. My lips trembled as I fought to keep control of the anger and disappointment, knowing he could have played a part in this. That by him standing back and doing nothing while my mate’s life was ruined with repeated torture and stolen freedom was too much to take.
“Ilaria, you need to understand something first,” he said calmly, leaning forward in his chair and holding my gaze. “The man you know me to be today wasn’t always who I used to be. Before I met your grandma, I was trapped under the control and manipulation of Lucius Romano, my own father and the King of Vampires. He had so much influence in the world. He was, at the time, one of the most feared supernaturals in existence. I was raised under his iron fist. Throughout my life, I endured emotional and physical abuse from him. I thought I was worthless because that’s all he made me believe I was. He was trying to groom me to be like him; cold, calculated and violent. To be the heir he needed. But he always saw a weakness in me. That weakness was empathy. I cared too much for his liking. He tried to beat it out of me at every opportunity he could. It was only when I saw your grandma and met Cora that I started to see the light through the darkness. That I started to realise my power was far greater than his and he’d been attempting to repress it for so long because he feared me.”
I blinked at him, my anger still not dispersing. Yes, I knew what a traumatic upbringing my grandpapi had. I knew the evil that he was raised by. But I couldn’t see how this excused his silence. If anything, this should make him see how alike he and Luka were.
“What has any of that got to do with Demonski Upirs?”
He sighed, hanging his head in an act of shame, perhaps, before he made eye contact with me again.
“I was only a young boy when I first met Alatar Knowlton. He often came to the castle to drink with Lucius. One night, when I was about fifteen, I walked in on him and my father having cigars and a whiskey by the fire in his office. They didn’t hear me come in. I was about to leave but then I overheard what they were discussing. It was around the time that Lucius was rampaging across the whole of America, attacking the smaller wolf packs in the name of Celeste. Altar’s coven was helping to aid him in these attacks. They hadn’t attacked Blood Moon yet, being the biggest pack in the world, but were strategizing on how and when. My father asked if Alatar still had the two Demonski Upirs captive. I had no idea what Demonski Upirs were. Alatar had given him a look and said bluntly, ‘No. We are not using them for this. It’s too public. They’d be seen and the council would find out about their existence. As much as I am in support of your agenda, I will not risk my prized possessions.’
Intrigued to know what a Demonski Upir was, why my father wanted to use them to attack Blood Moon, and why Alatar had refused, I headed straight to the castle library. I researched all night. I found out everything I could about Demonski Upirs and that they had become extinct after years of being hunted. The books said they were monsters. They were deadly killing machines with no morals and unable to live civilised lives. Weeks went by and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wanted to see one with my own eyes. So, eventually, I confronted my father. I asked him about them and how Alatar had them when they were supposed to be extinct. He was furious, realising I had eavesdropped on his private conversation. He beat me severely for that. But when he’d finally calmed down, realising I now knew one of the greatest secrets in the world, he told me the part he and Celeste had played in being Slayers and the spell Celeste had created to possess the demon’s soul. He made it sound like they were heroes. That they’d done a good deed in ridding the world of an evil species and that by keeping the remaining two under control, they could live without releasing destruction upon the world. I believed him.”
I closed my eyes and dropped into a chair at the table before I let my head fall into my folded arms. I knew I couldn’t blame him for that. He was a teenager and completely brainwashed by Lucius. What could he have even done if he hadn’t believed it?
“Honestly, by the time the wars between the wolves and vampires really kicked off, I had forgotten all about it. After Lucius’ death, I became King of Vampires and I had my own troubles to navigate through. Many clans were refusing to accept me as king, even some from the Romano clan were planning a mutiny against my reign because of their loyalty to my father. But gradually, I won most of them over. Alatar Knowlton reached out to me and invited me to take my father’s place at The Underground as a silent investor and VIP member. I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted to distance myself from everything related to my father. I was busy trying to change the world’s opinions on hybrids, work with the wolves to create peace after years of hatred and war and find my feet as a king and first-time father. The Knowltons were the last thing on my mind. I knew they were bad people and I didn’t trust them, but they were keeping their distance. Eventually, I planned to take them on and put an end to The Underground, which at the time was a truly vile excuse for the worst of supernaturals to torture and kill innocents for sport. But then I heard that the coven died mysteriously. Rumours spread that it was a sacrificial spell gone wrong. That Alatar had killed his entire family and then himself. But I knew Alatar wasn’t the type. He was evil, but he wasn’t crazy. I remembered the Demonski Upirs he had captured and I just knew it must have been them. They must have escaped and managed to kill the entire coven. But the world still didn’t seem to know anything about them. There was no hysteria. There was no panic. Someone who called himself The Devil took over The Underground . I presumed he was just another investor and VIP member. He was clever because he changed the way The Underground ran. He made it more exclusive, harder to infiltrate and less twisted. It became more of a secret society than an evil club. There was no immediate threat and we all agreed that unless it was necessary, we would leave it alone. We had plenty of other things to deal with over the years.”
“What about the Demonski Upirs?” Mum asked, coming to sit down next to me. I felt her hand stroke down the back of my hair to provide me with some comfort.
“As far as I was aware, I was the only living person who knew they even existed. I thought they had escaped and killed the Knowltons. I thought they were free. I faced a choice: announce two Demonski Upirs, risking worldwide panic, or stay quiet and pray they wouldn’t rampage, murdering everyone. Both came with risk. But I decided to keep the information to myself. You are right, Ilaria. I knew what it was like to have the whole world think you are a monster. I wanted to give them the opportunity to prove that they weren’t.”
I lifted my head with tears in my eyes as I looked around the room at the faces of my family. “Except they weren’t free. They never had that opportunity because The Devil had them and used them in exactly the same way the Knowltons had. He still is.”
“And that man we met? The Dealer? He is Heathen’s vampire side, am I right?” Grandpapi asked carefully. I inhaled deeply, feeling instantly protective of that knowledge but there was really no point hiding it anymore.
“Yes. His name is Lukas Nezera. Heathen is his demon.”
“How did The Devil find out about them if no one knew?” Dad asked, reaching for my hand. “And who is this person?”
“I don’t know.” I wiped my eyes and rolled my shoulders, feeling pure hatred settling in my stomach and pulsing through my veins. “But when I find out, I will kill them.”
“Ilaria, we will help you figure this out but there are certain procedures and laws nowadays that we must abide by, especially as Royals. We will find who is responsible and they’ll be given a trial with—” my mum started.
“No,” I interrupted her with icy conviction. “I will kill them. I will kill every single person who has ever harmed my mate and his family.”
Mum sighed, running her hand down my hair once more as if I was still a child who didn’t understand. “We can’t go around murdering people without hearing their side and deciding on their punishment. Self-defence is the only acceptable murder of a supernatural and even that must be proven. A death sentence of a supernatural that is not deemed as self-defence must be agreed by all the royals and if it cannot be agreed, the council will hold the trial.”
“Then agree.” I moved my gaze around the room. They shuffled uncomfortably in their seats, avoiding my eyes. “Agree right now that The Devil and his witch mate deserve to die so I can kill them when I find out who they are.”
“Ilaria, we cannot agree without evidence and–” Dad argued. I darted out of my chair.
“You are all hypocrites. How many people have you impulsively killed for threatening or harming those you love?”
“Times were different back then. There was no order and we weren’t royals.”
“What about Sienna and Raiden?”
“Trials happened and you know it.”
“This is just because he’s a Demonski Upir, isn’t it?” I threw my hands out at my sides, shaking my head.
“No. Of course not. But you have to understand that this is all a shock, Ilaria, and will take time to digest. We have believed things about Demonski Upirs all our lives and you have just told us differently. Heathen just proved that he has some element of self-control by leaving when he could have attacked, but you are also asking us to trust a creature that has been ripping out hearts and murdering supernaturals for years with no mercy.”
“Because he is being forced to by The Devil! He is not the villain here!” I screamed, losing my cool completely. Why weren’t they getting this? Why weren’t they as furious at the injustice of it as I was?
“That may be but there are still so many unknown factors at play here. We need to know exactly what happened and why. We need to understand who Heathen is and make sure he is not a threat to humanity. That is our duty to the whole of the human realm. If what you say is true, of course, we will support him and make sure justice is served,” Mum said calmly.
I was feeling anything but calm. “If? You don’t believe me?”
“Of course we do, but at the moment, we only have one side of the story.”
“There is no other side!” My blood was boiling. “He is my soulmate! There is only his side!”
The room fell silent and I released an aggravated growl through my teeth and stormed out, unable to be around them without saying something I’d come to regret. I had never been so furious with my family and their titles in my entire life. They were putting duty before justice. They were putting duty before love.
I raced out of the front door and kicked the gravel of the driveway. I threw my head back and screamed up at the night’s sky.
“Ilaria?” the soothing voice of my Grandma Alina broke through the red haze but the rage continued pulsating, blurring my senses as I paced back and forth outside the castle. “Ilaria, what’s wrong?”
I felt her soft but firm grip on my shoulders as she turned me to look into her concerned emerald eyes. My lips wobbled as I wondered if Luka’s eyes were once that green and that I may never know because he couldn’t live with the pain of his past. And my family still didn’t get it. A sob shook me to my core as I fell forward into her arms and felt her wrap herself around me in a tight embrace. She shushed me and whispered comforting words until I had no more tears left. When I pulled back, I noticed my Grandpops standing behind her, looking just as worried. They’d only just arrived for family night and missed the whole drama.
“Logan, why don’t you go inside and let them all know I’m with Ilaria and we are having a little chat,” Grandma said with a small smile, wiping the dampness of my cheeks with her thumbs.
“Course. Come, give Pops a hug first though, little one.” He outstretched his muscular arms and I felt like a five-year-old again who had fallen over and needed his comfort. I squeezed him tight and he bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Whatever it is. It will all be alright. You’ll see.”
I wanted to argue with him but he spoke with such heart-warming confidence of a man who had been through his own hell once upon a time, watched his own parents slaughtered and was in hiding for years from Lucius that it gave me the hope and clarity I needed to calm myself down.
“Come on, sweetie.” Grandma held out her hand to me and I took it. We walked through the castle gardens, strolling between the rose bushes in silence as I regulated myself with her guidance and breathing techniques. When she sensed I was in a better head space, we entered my grandparents’ orangery and sat down on the swinging bench. The scent of flowers and the thick humidity felt like a safe blanket as I lifted my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
“In your own time,” she said patiently and I inhaled before spilling everything to her. I told her about it all, not leaving out a single detail from the night Heathen first saw me, the stalking, the way it made me feel alive and excited, to meeting Luka at Sienna’s hen party. I told her everything that happened after that; who Luka and Heathen were and what had happened to them. Explaining how they were still being controlled and under a spell Celeste and Cora Anderson had created themselves. She listened intently, hiding her shock very well and just nodding and rubbing my back when something I said triggered an emotional reaction in me. When I finally finished explaining what had just gone down in the dining room, I turned my head to look at her.
She had tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her face. “Oh honey. That was a lot.”
I burst out laughing despite the sadness that consumed me and nodded.
She sighed. “First…” She grabbed my hands, forcing me to turn to her in the seat. “…congratulations on finding your soulmate. He sounds incredible and I can’t wait to meet him.”
My face broke into a wide smile through my tears and I nodded, feeling warmth and love replace the bitter poison of rage. “He is amazing. Heathen and Luka. Both sides. He is the best person I know. He’s been through so much, Grandma. He’s never felt accepted, ever, and it’s so unfair.”
She shook her head. “You’re wrong. He has felt acceptance. From you. That would mean more to him than anything.”
I exhaled loudly and let that sink in. She was right. They had me. I accepted them and I wouldn’t stop until the rest of the world did, too.
“And the family will come around, I promise. They are just being cautious. Imagine being told something your entire life and then suddenly being asked to question it. It will take time for them to process but they will.”
“How come you are being so understanding, then?”
She smiled. “I don’t have the same responsibilities your parents do. And if there is one thing I have learned in my lifetime, it’s that you can never judge a person without knowing what they’ve been through. Everyone is capable of goodness, just as everyone is capable of evil, regardless of your race. And most importantly, no one is perfect.”
“So you agree with them? You agree that even after everything, The Devil deserves a trial?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “All I am saying is that life is never black and white and nor are people. Sometimes, people do bad things but there is room for redemption. However, I doubt that will be the case here. Some people are just terrible and don’t deserve second chances. But I do agree with the system your parents have for dealing with people like that. It works. And justice is nearly always served.”
“I wish I could be as optimistic as you. See the potential for good in everyone. But I don’t. And I’ve seen with my own eyes what they’ve done to Luka. To Heathen. To Hana. Their reasons are irrelevant; they forfeit both forgiveness and redemption. They have continued to ruin two people’s lives. They’ve treated them like they don’t matter, and only see them as objects they possess and use for their own gains. They took away their choices and their freedom. I don’t want to live in a world where people forgive that.”
“Then let’s find out everything we can about The Devil and whoever else is involved. Gather up all the evidence and allow Luka to present his case to the family.”
“It’s not as simple as that. Luka doesn’t trust anyone. And he’s worried about his sister’s life. The Devil can’t find out that any of us know about Luka or Heathen until we figure out who we are dealing with. We need to have the element of surprise on our side and the fewer people know about it all, the better chance we have at keeping it contained.”
Grandma stood up. “Then let’s go back inside and come up with a plan. Together.”
I huffed, not convinced but willing to try again. We walked back towards the castle until an ostentatious sports car came tearing up the long driveway and skidding to a halt in the gravel. I narrowed my eyes to try to get a glimpse of who was in the passenger seat and who was driving like a maniac. I froze. Oh. Hell. No.
“Oh look, Leif’s home. That’s good timing, as we will definitely need his help with this,” Grandma said, continuing to walk to the front door. She looked back over her shoulder to see I had stopped and was glaring at the car with clenched fists. “Ilaria?”
“It’s okay, Grandma. Go and butter them all up for me. I need to speak with my brother.” My tone was sharp and she frowned, peering back over to the car that Leif was still sitting inside and was now leaning over and kissing the driver with clashing tongues. I nearly vomited in my mouth.
As soon as she had gone inside, I zoomed up to the passenger door, ripping it open. I grabbed Leif by his jumper, yanking him out of the car aggressively.
“Woah! What the hell,” he slurred, falling onto his ass on the gravel as the driver’s door opened on the other side and Lia dived out, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open at my violent outburst.
“No. What the hell to you, Leif Anderson! What are you doing with her?” I shouted, pointing my finger accusingly at the bimbo standing behind me.
Leif rolled his eyes as he attempted to pull himself to his feet unsteadily. Uh, no. He did not get to give me attitude right now.
“ Her has a name,” Lia snapped back. I turned and hissed at her, causing her to recoil slightly in surprise. I was not in the mood for this.
“Calm down, sis. Since when have you cared who I am hanging with?” Leif asked, now upright but swaying slightly. He smelt like a brewery and looked even worse. This was getting ridiculous. When had he last had a decent night's sleep or even a flipping shower?
“I care when you are choosing to ‘hang with’ a fucking spoilt brat who has nothing better to do than bully others and plot ways to sink her claws into the men of this family through any means possible.”
Lia dropped her head, pretending to look hurt by my words and Leif frowned. “Don’t be a bitch, Ilaria. Lia’s been a friend. She’s actually been there for me recently. Which is more than I can say for you.”
I blinked at him in shock. Was he serious? Okay, so I may have been a little distracted recently but people’s lives were hanging in the fucking balance. My mate’s life, to be exact. I couldn’t sit around getting shitfaced with him, which is all he was interested in doing these days.
“Leif. I’m going to go,” Lia said quietly, acting every inch the innocent, meek submissive that she was absolutely not. “Call me later, yeah?”
“No! He most certainly will not call you later!” I shouted as she slammed the car door and put the car in reverse. “Stay the fuck away from my brother or I swear to God, Lia!”
“Bloody hell,” Leif grumbled, brushing past me. “And you say the men in this family are overprotective.”
“Yes, I am overprotective when I can see she is taking advantage of you. You are not thinking straight. Look at you! You’re a mess! Enough is enough, Leif. I know you’re hurting, grieving and angry at the world. I get that. But clearly you’ve lost your frickin’ mind if you’re choosing to take comfort in Lia, of all people. You know the hell she put Neve through for years. You know she has thrown herself at Lorcan and Raiden and you, time and time again. She is only after one thing! Power and fame.”
“You know nothing about what I am going through! And she has apologised about Neve and Raiden. She actually feels bad. She has a different mindset after all that. Anyway, maybe I am using her too? Ever thought about that?” he shouted. I paused. Leif never shouted. He never lost his temper. Ever. Nothing ever got to him enough to make him scream and shout and it was disturbing to see. This wasn’t him. “Do you know how it feels to be constantly babysat and looked at with pity by everyone around you? Lia doesn’t do that. I’m not going to fucking marry the girl. But she listens. She’s distracting me from the mess of my fucking life. Everyone in this family is too busy with their own bullshit to care about mine. Or even understand it. Lorcan is over at Blood Moon with his new responsibilities, starting his new life with his perfect mate. Mum and dad are busy ruling the realm, Raiden and Sienna have the SIA, and you, fuck knows what it is that you are doing but one thing I know for sure is that you are keeping secrets from me.” He stepped up to me, glaring down through drunk multi-toned eyes. “When did we start doing that, huh? When did we start keeping secrets from each other?”
My anger had dispersed and guilt took its place. He was right. I had been keeping secrets from him, which we had always promised we’d never do.
“It’s been… messy. I’ll tell you everything, Leif. My life has been confusing and you’ve been struggling. I didn’t want to add my shit to yours.”
“We all have shit to deal with, Ilaria. I just thought we’d always be dealing with it together. Clearly, I was wrong.”
He stormed into the castle and I collapsed on the step with my head in my hands. What a shitshow this night had become. I wanted to speak to Luka or Heath. I wanted to see them because I knew it would make me feel better. Remind me of why I was doing all of this and upsetting my family. But I felt conflicted between checking if my soulmate was okay and sorting out my family drama. A choice I never thought I would have to make.