Page 44 of Dark Souls
Echoes Of Freedom
I woke up in the dirt, face down and completely naked. Clearly, the event ending had summoned Heathen back to the recesses of my mind before sunrise. Groaning, I lifted my head to stare at my surroundings and realised I was still in Frendal Gardens, and it must have been the early hours of the morning. Pulling myself up to a sitting position, I looked down at the dried blood and dirt on my torso and hands and felt the tightness of cuts across my back. What on Earth had Heathen done now?
Honest to God, the demon was a nutter at the best of times, but without me to reign him in over the years, he was a live fucking wire. I knew one of these days he’d do something so stupid at these events that it would get us both killed. Closing my eyes, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I’d grown accustomed to waking from the black void of nothingness to find hours had passed, and I was often covered in blood that it didn’t even surprise me anymore. Whose blood? I had no fucking clue. Thank god I had no humanity or that shit would have eaten me up inside.
I knew Heathen would have a feast tonight. My attempts to keep him from Ilaria until she knew the truth had kept him locked away longer than usual. But the Murder Maze had always been his event. When he’d put the idea to The Devil years ago, The Devil was hesitant, thinking it wouldn’t be popular. I mean, who in their right mind would want to sign up to die? But to The Devil’s surprise, a small collective of the most deranged members really liked the idea. And so it’s been an annual event ever since. Normally, the turn-out is around fifty and only half survive.
As I attempted to stand on my feet, the strange realisation finally hit me. Why was I naked? Glancing at my dick, I wrapped my hand around it to feel it sticky with dried fucking cum. I gasped, falling back on my hands on the ground and staring, as panic sent my heart racing in my chest. I’d had sex. No. Heathen had. Here? At the Murder Maze?
A cold dread seeped into my bones, each breath a ragged gasp, as icy tendrils of terror coiled around my heart. I felt physically sick. I’d fucking cheated on Ilaria. How could he do this? He must have known she was our soulmate. She told him last week, so why… I paused my spiralling. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have sex with anyone else. Which meant Ilaria must have come here.
An onslaught of rage and panic hit me as I stormed to my feet. Rage that she’d come when I told her not to and that Heathen had mated with her at this event, of all places. But also panic at not knowing if she was alright. Had he forced himself on her? I hoped he would never, but after what he said to her last week, I wasn’t so sure he could control himself around her anymore. Especially knowing I’d been fucking her for weeks.
This was one of the most dangerous events we held and even though I knew Heathen wouldn’t have let anything happen to her, I still wouldn’t calm down until I saw she was safe with my own eyes.
I sped towards the chapel and threw the door open to find it empty. The chest of winnings was open and all the cash was gone. I rubbed my hand down my face with frustration at not knowing what the fuck happened.
Grabbing some spare clothes that we always left out for the winners because they’d usually end up bloodied and a mess, I tugged on a pair of joggers and a T-shirt. Desperate to see Ilaria, I quickly raced through the maze to check whether Heathen had disposed of any bodies that might not have made it out alive. I suddenly came across a flash of silver that stood out on the brown ground. I picked it up, recognising it immediately. Flipping it over, I stared at the initials engraved on the knife’s handle. I.R.B.
I squeezed the blade in my palm, drawing blood as I swore loudly. Fuck’s sake . Why is she so stubborn?! Climbing on my motorbike and speeding back towards the Knowlton manor, it took me nearly two hours to get there, and by the time I pulled up outside, cutting the engine, the sun was peeking over the clifftop.
I felt the tug on my skin, forcing me back to the house as the sun’s rays appeared, and I zoomed up the steps and barrelled through the door.
“Ilaria!”
Silence. My heart pounded.
“Ilaria!” I poked my head around the library door and took in the mess. The desk was flipped, books were destroyed, and someone left my laptop open on the coffee table. Panic outweighed my fury that someone else might have been here. That she might have been in danger.
“Ilaria!” I yelled again, more desperately than before, as I stormed through the ground floor of the house and froze in the doorway of the kitchen.
There she was. Sitting on a bar stool in a hoodie and nothing else. Mud and brambles matted her messy hair, and scratches and cuts covered her legs. An open bottle of vodka was on the kitchen island in front of her with two glasses. One was empty and the other was in her hand. She sat up a little straighter when she saw me, her pink eyes connected with mine, which spoke a thousand unsaid words. Every muscle in my body turned to stone. She knew.
My legs weakened, and my hand slammed out to grip the frame of the door to hold myself up when I realised this was the moment I would lose her. She knew what I was. Who I was. And what that meant. I hadn’t lied to her. Not once. But I wouldn’t blame her if she felt betrayed or deceived. I wouldn’t blame her if she saw me as the monster the world portrayed me to be. It was one thing to want to help Heathen because she felt bad for him, but quite another to realise her soulmate, the person she was bound to, was a Demonski Upir.
“Ilaria, I–” My voice cracked. I choked on my words.
She slid off the bar stool slowly and walked towards me, holding my gaze. I stared at her, unable to look away, fearing that this might be the last time she let me before she walked out that door.
When she stopped right in front of me, I gulped; my throat vibrating with the movement. Her stunning eyes darted between mine as if she was looking at me in a whole new light, and then she did the one thing I never expected. She stood on her tiptoes, weaved her hand in the back of my hair and pulled me down to meet her full lips. The kiss was soft. Loving. And I frowned deeply, not understanding what was happening. Was she saying goodbye? My stomach twisted with the thought.
She opened her eyes, keeping our heads touching as she peered into my eyes.
“Lukas Nezera. I love you.”
I stared. I held my breath. My frown deepened. Did I just imagine those words leaving her lips? Was I having some kind of mental breakdown and hallucinating?
“I… I don’t understand,” I mumbled, pulling away from her slightly to stand straight.
She gave me a small, sad smile as she let go of her grip on my hair and ran her hand down the side of my face in a tender caress. “I know you don’t. And that’s okay. But I still needed you to know.”
“That… you…” I couldn’t even say the words out loud, fearing that I really had imagined them, and I’d sound like a complete fool.
“Love you. Yes. That I am hopelessly and obsessively in love with you and Heathen. Because you are him and he is you. And it is the best fucking thing I could have ever asked for in my wildest dreams. To have you as my mate.”
I stood there like an idiot. Speechless. Completely baffled and waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the but or the laughter at it being a cruel joke before she ripped my heart out. But neither happened.
She turned and walked back over to the island and poured me a glass of vodka, holding it to me when I still hadn’t moved.
“You look like you could do with a drink, Red.” She smiled with slight amusement dancing in her eyes, and I blinked rapidly as the reality sank in. She wasn’t leaving. She was… accepting me? I cautiously approached her, still not trusting it as I took the glass from her hand and downed it in one go.
“I mated with Heathen. We drank each other’s blood and I felt our bond establish properly. But I am guessing you might have figured that out,” she said carefully as she held my gaze.
I inhaled as I placed the glass back down. “I had figured that out, yeah. He didn’t… force you? Hurt you?” I asked with disguised concern.
She shook her head and smiled. “No. I promise. I wanted it.”
I swallowed again, trying to dispel the lump lodged in my throat. This was all too weird. Not that she fucked Heathen because I was fine with that. He was an extension of me, after all. But because she was so… unbothered by this enormous revelation. I huffed and started pacing the floor a little, keeping my eyes on her as she watched me with just as much caution.
“Sorry- I… I’m just struggling to understand this.” I pointed between us as she frowned.
“Understand what? Me and Heathen?”
“No. Why are you so… calm? Why are you still here and saying…” I shook my head and tugged my hair through my fingers. I knew I must have looked insane, but honestly, I felt a little insane. This wasn’t what I’d prepared for or expected when she finally figured out who I was. I glanced over to find her still staring at me. “How did you know?”
She broke eye contact and sucked in a breath. Her whole demeanour changed, and I felt the anger suddenly rolling off her in waves.
“Calli translated a diary that belonged to Alatar Knowlton. It had entries that explained what they did to you. To your family. For years. I knew it was bad, Luka. But I didn’t realise just how long you’ve suffered. And I am so fucking angry at the world for how it treated you. Not just you. Hana too. Your entire family. Your entire species. It makes me livid beyond belief and I just want to–”
“You don’t think I’m a monster?” My blurted question hung in the silence, a desperate plea for clarity echoing in my mind as her expression softened.
“No. I don’t think you are a monster. I think everyone who hunted your species because they feared what they couldn’t understand and were jealous of your power are the true monsters, Luka. They committed genocide against an entire species just because your existence threatened their selfish greed.”
I licked my bottom lip as I searched her eyes, looking for any sign of dishonesty, but all I saw was genuine emotion. She really meant it. And it was slowly beginning to sink in.
“You still want this? To be with me? Even though I’m a Demonski Upir?” I asked, the words coming out of my mouth before I could think about how insecure I sounded.
“Luka. I don’t care that you’re a Demonski Upir in the slightest. In fact, I fucking love it. I think it’s awesome and–” She paused, her pink eyes widening so much I thought they were going to leave her head for a second. “Wait! You just said you were a Demonski Upir!”
I stilled. I did, didn’t I? What the fuck… I haven’t been able to say those words for nearly a century.
“Say something else!” she shouted, bolting off her stool and grabbing me by the T-shirt. “Say something you shouldn’t be able to say.”
My lips parted as I braced myself for the familiar frustration that came every time I tried to talk about myself, but instead, words left my lips. “Heathen is my demon side.”
“Oh my god!” Ilaria screamed, slamming her hands over her mouth and staring up at my shocked face. “How? How are you doing this?”
“I… I don’t know.” I shook my head as my legs gave way and I sat down on a bar stool. I tried to speak to Heathen in my head but was met with that block where he used to be. Closing my eyes, I tried to shift into him, but as usual, I felt nothing. “I still can’t speak or feel Heathen. So that hasn’t changed.”
“Are you still trapped in this house?”
“I think so,” I said, standing up and racing to the front door. Before I stepped over the threshold, the magical barrier flung me backwards.
“Do you think now that I have properly bonded with both sides of you that it weakened the spell that meant you can’t speak about yourself?” Ilaria asked as I turned around to face her.
“Maybe. It was The Devil’s mate cast that specific spell, so it is most likely the weakest one,” I breathed, unable to believe I could even tell her that. Feeling so confused, I walked into the library and huffed down on the sofa. I grabbed Ilaria’s hand and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her tiny body and resting my head against her chest. I think I was overwhelmed, though that wasn’t an emotion that I could really recognise without my humanity. She ran her fingers through my hair softly, and I closed my eyes, allowing her touch to settle my mind.
This was huge. If I could talk about myself, my past, Hana and The Devil, I’d be able to tell her everything. We’d be able to come up with a plan together. The only thing stopping me was the fear that I could still lose her. Fear of placing my trust, my life and the life of my sister in her hands and praying she would never betray me like Belladonna did. The walls I’d built around myself were crashing down around me, but for the first time in my life, I realised I wasn’t alone. She was there. Offering to pull me from the rubble of my own ruins.
I’d been fighting this battle alone for so long, even without Heathen, because I’d lost any connection I’d had to him when they took him from me for their own selfish pursuits. I lifted my head after a few quiet minutes and peered into the eyes of my soulmate.
“Ask me anything, love.”