Page 139 of Dark Souls

“I… I don’t know.” I shook my head as my legs gave way and I sat down on a bar stool. I tried to speak to Heathen in my head but was met with that block where he used to be. Closing my eyes, I tried to shift into him, but as usual, I felt nothing. “I still can’t speak or feel Heathen. So that hasn’t changed.”

“Are you still trapped in this house?”

“I think so,” I said, standing up and racing to the front door. Before I stepped over the threshold, the magical barrier flung me backwards.

“Do you think now that I have properly bonded with both sides of you that it weakened the spell that meant you can’t speak about yourself?” Ilaria asked as I turned around to face her.

“Maybe. It was The Devil’s mate cast that specific spell, so it is most likely the weakest one,” I breathed, unable to believe I could even tell her that. Feeling so confused, I walked into the library and huffed down on the sofa. I grabbed Ilaria’s hand and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her tiny body and resting my head against her chest. I think I was overwhelmed, though that wasn’t an emotion that I could really recognise without my humanity. She ran her fingers through my hair softly, and I closed my eyes, allowing her touch to settle my mind.

This was huge. If I could talk about myself, my past, Hana and The Devil, I’d be able to tell her everything. We’d be able to come up with a plan together. The only thing stopping me was the fear that I could still lose her. Fear of placing my trust, my life and the life of my sister in her hands and praying she would never betray me like Belladonna did. The walls I’d built around myself were crashing down around me, but for the first time in my life, I realised I wasn’t alone. She was there. Offering to pull me from the rubble of my own ruins.

I’d been fighting this battle alone for so long, even without Heathen, because I’d lost any connection I’d had to him when they took him from me for their own selfish pursuits. I lifted my head after a few quiet minutes and peered into the eyes of my soulmate.

“Ask me anything, love.”

Pain Of The Past

Wesatontherug in front of the fire, me cross-legged and facing him as he sat with his back against the sofa. Between us, photos of Hana, his weird, scorched stake and a much-needed bottle of vodka to help us both get through the horrific details he was about to divulge. Given his lack of humanity, I'm pretty sure it was mostly for me. I wasn’t sure why he had brought the stake out and it made me a little nervous.

He poured me a shot of vodka and then one for himself. “You look like you need this before we start.”

I had no idea what time it was because my phone was broken, but from the low-hanging sun shining through the windows and illuminating dust motes between us, I knew it was early. I don’t think I’d ever had a drink this early before, but I knew I was going to need it to get me through this. We clinked our glasses together and gulped down the bitter liquid. I hissed at the burn while Luka looked like he’d taken a shot of orange juice.

“I want to ask so much about you and Heathen, but I think I need background on the history first to understand your kind. So, can you start from the very beginning?” I licked my lips as I met his eyes. “I want to know it all. Don’t spare me any detail, no matter how horrific.” I reached for his hand, threading our fingers together. “It won’t change anything between us.”

His nostrils flared and he looked down at our fingers. He still didn’t believe it and for the first time, I suddenly felt afraid. Was I overly confident in my feelings for him? I thought him killing his mother and that he was a Demonski Upir were the things he feared me finding out about the most and the fact I was still here should have spoken volumes. But was there more?

“My grandfather was the original Demonski Upir. His name was Voldislavu. He was the product of a demon from the Underworld mating with a mortal vampire. Do you know the story of Katrina and the demon?”

I nodded, trying to let that mind-blowing fact sink in. It would be a long day if I gasped at every revelation so I tried to keep my shock at bay.

“The stories are pretty accurate. Voldislavu was savage. He could not control his bloodthirst for a long time. Being the first of our kind and with no one to show him how to live in a world he didn’t truly belong to. He didn’t understand his purpose. He followed his primal instincts alone. Which were to hunt, kill and to…”

“Breed?” I answered for him as he nodded.

“Demonski Upirs do not have seduction magic, but we can put our victims into a lustful daze, to drive their sensuality and make them want things from us. Especially humans. Voldislavu used that to impregnate many women. He most likely had hundreds of children over centuries of seducing humans. They gave birth to Demonski Upirs but their bloodlines were never as strong as Voldislavu because they were diluted with human genes. Often, they didn’t even come into their true demonic forms until they were teenagers. Which you can imagine must have been a terrifying realisation for both the mother and the child. Many went on to commit horrendous crimes driven by their demonic vampire instincts. Some were lucky enough to find soulmates, which seemed to calm them. I suppose they were able to teach them how to live in this world without judgment. How to fit in. Over centuries, human genes diluted the bloodline so much that many just became vampires with very few demonic abilities.”

“I am sensing abuthere…”

“But… my bloodline is different. Voldislavu finally came across his soulmate in the form of a vampire woman named Olja in Serbia during the 15th century. He knew she was different because he didn’t just crave her body for breeding but he became obsessed with her soul. He wanted to own and cherish it and never live a day without her by his side. She accepted him and they went on to have ten children of their own. My father was their firstborn.”

My mouth fell open. “Quick question.” I raised my hand, which made him smile a little at the action. “I read in a book that your grandfather was born in 666 AD. If that’s correct, he must have been…” I quickly did the maths in my head. “…around 750 years old when he met Olja! How old do Demonksi Upirs live for?”

“The only one that has ever died naturally of old age is Voldislavu. He was 1230 years old. A few weeks later, my grandmother died too.”

He held my gaze as a deeper meaning passed between us. I lifted my fingers to my lips, making the connection. “Because she gave him her soul?”

“I believe so. My parents never told me that was why. I have wondered why for so long. But now, after finding you, I think I understand.”

“What?” I asked quietly, my heart racing.

“Heathen wants your soul. He won’t ever feel whole without it. Even without my connection to him, and although we are bonded in vampire form, I still crave more of you. There is a pull towards you that drives me insane. An aching in my chest that knows I don’t have you the way I truly desire. The way I am supposed to. And if my parents had told me what would happen to my soulmate when they gave me their soul, I would never have wanted to find you. I remember my father telling Zoran and me about the bond of soulmates when we were teenagers. He said it was the greatest blessing to own their souls but a curse to tie your fates. I never truly understood what that meant until I watched my mother slowly starve herself. I saw the pain she endured in her final days.”

A single tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my sleeve as the memories of his mother resurfaced. “That is why you don’t want me to give my soul to Heathen?”

He sighed, pouring himself another shot and then me one. “Giving us your soul means many things, Ilaria.” He took his shot, but I wasn’t interested in mine. Not yet. “Firstly, you will rely solely on me for blood. Mine will be the only blood you will crave. The only blood you will stomach. Other people’s blood will make you sick. Even animal blood. I will become your only food source and your only lifeline. When I die, you won’t be able to survive.”

I blew out a breath and attempted to make light of the situation. “Good job you’ll live for over a thousand years, then.”