Page 229 of Dark Souls

Mybrother.He’dalwaysbeen there. My teacher, my protector, my defender.

I couldn’t understand how it could be true, but it was. He was alive. Damaged and scarred but very much alive. And he was my trigger for turning my humanity back on.

I remembered everything. When I thought I saw him die, a part of me died too. Because he has always been my hero. He trained me, taught me everything I knew, showed me how to survive the harshness of our world, and how did I repay him? I betrayed him. I ignored everything he’d warned me of and placed my trust in a witch. I remember the look on his face that night when I told my family about Belladonna. The look of complete disappointment and fury. And then he died because of it. Or at least, I thought he did. Suddenly, my world had shifted on its axis and the two men who I looked up to and thought were invincible were gone. And I knew I would never feel safe again. Over the brutal years of torture, hiding and grief, I wondered why I survived and he did not. I wished I could have taken his place because he would have known how to keep Mama and Hana safe, and he would have done it better. When I had to make the choice to kill Mama and drink her blood to gain my father’s powers, I remember feeling like it was the ultimate betrayal to his memory. They were supposed to be his gifts. I couldn’t live with the guilt anymore, and I knew I’d never be able to go through with it and survive if I let that feeling eat me alive. So I turned my humanity off.

When he told me I was safe and could come back now, I knew he was telling me he had my back. That, despite everything, he had never stopped looking out for me. It was okay for me to let go, allowing everything I had locked away deep inside me to come to the surface, because he was there to keep me safe again. He could be the strong one for a while, so I didn’t have to be. I finally had permission to fall apart.

And fuck, I fell apart. But strangely, feeling everything I had buried for so long come to the surface in a rush left me with a surprising sense of acceptance that I never expected. When the tears had dried, my body had stopped trembling, and my brain processed every difficult, painful emotion, every feeling from my past and the choices I had made, I was left with relief. I could finally try to move forward. Because no matter how hard it was going to be, I knew I was going to get through it, just like I had dragged myself through every other difficult thing in my life.

Hana and I hadn’t left Zoran’s side for the last two hours, still processing our shock. Ilaria and Ronnie had stayed outside the room to give Zoran privacy while Ruby and Arius worked carefully on his wounds. I sat by the side of the large double bed in a guest room that had been set up for Zoran to rest and heal. Somehow, he’d been suspended in time and looked exactly as I remembered him that night. Luckily, Arius said he was strong enough to survive the reverse of that spell without many side effects but I still couldn’t take my eyes off him in fear that something would change.

Arius had brought him multiple bags of blood and even managed to get hold of some animal organs to help feed Ambrož, Zoran’s demon. He demolished the lot and Arius promised that he and Ilaria would use the green list to get him something more satisfying. Ruby warned us that his skin would never fully heal because hellfire caused his wounds. Zoran nodded with understanding, resting on the bed between Hana and me and my gut twisted, knowing that he would have to live with a physical reminder of that night for the rest of his life.

“We will leave you to talk.” Ruby smiled kindly as Arius tidied up the bandages and potion bottles. They closed the door behind them and I glanced back at Zoran, glad to be finally alone so I could get some answers.

Zoran was never great with languages. He understood English but had never been confident in speaking it. So the three of us spoke in our native language to ensure we got all the facts.

“How?” I asked in Serbian, still shaking my head and staring at his face. Half of it was now covered in white bandages. “I watched you burn, Zoran. You were in demon form. You couldn’t have survived that.”

“I know. I nearly didn’t,” he answered. “They bound me to the pillar and when I felt their magic keeping me from shifting, I thought that was the end of me. The fire rose higher, seared my flesh and I had never felt pain like it. I couldn’t see past the heat of the black flames that surrounded me, but I did feel something strange. It was a different type of agony. My bones started to break, my body rearranged and my vision sharpened. I was no longer tied to that cottage but flying up and above the fire, escaping my death. It took me a few seconds to realise that I wasn’t flying in my demon’s body. That I was different. I tried to shift but I couldn’t. I was trapped inside that raven’s form.”

“Who did it?” I growled, trying to get used to the mix of emotions battling inside me. I was furious that someone had trapped him as a raven for centuries, but I was also grateful in a way, because if they hadn’t, he’d be dead.

His jaw tensed and a vicious gleam in his eyes reminded me of how terrifying he could be when he was wronged. “A witch. That’s all I know.”

“You saw her?”

He nodded. “A glimpse. She was further away from the others. Near the tree line. I knew it was her because she was the only one looking up at the sky, watching me flying out of the flames as the raven she cursed me to be. None of the others noticed but she did. Because she was responsible.”

My chest ached and rage consumed me as I remembered who was standing further back from the coven. Belladonna and her mother. It was something I knew Belladonna would have been capable of, just to mess with me, but Arius said she wasn’t the one behind the spell. But perhaps he was wrong.

“Was it Belladonna? Or her mother?”

He shook his head. “No. I know what they looked like. I had to watch that bitch torture you for years. It wasn’t either of them. There was something about this witch that was… different.”

“Different how?” Hana asked.

“I don’t know. She had a unique energy about her.” He gritted his teeth. “But now that I am free, I will find that witch and make her pay for what she did to me.”

“You think she is still alive?”

“Yes. I know she is. I can still feel her poisonous magic alive in my veins, drawing me to her. She’s alive. I have come close to finding her recently, but she always runs, like she did that night. But now, I’ll find her, and I’ll make her suffer like she’s made me.”

Hana glanced at me, worry etched into her features. I shook my head in the hope she wouldn’t say what she was about to, but this was Hana.

“You want to punish her for saving your life?”

Zoran’s head snapped in her direction. The icy chill that he projected visibly made her cower.

“I want to kill her. She damned my life and trapped me in a useless body that wasn’t mine. She turned me into a creature who could barely do anything while I was forced to watch my siblings suffer for centuries. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t protect either of you. I was forced to watch.. That cruel existence was worse than death itself.

“But you did help,” Hana replied weakly. “You did what you could. Without you helping Luka all those times, who knows what would have happened?”

“It was never enough,” he growled, dropping his head back on the pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

“I know it’s selfish,” I mumbled, looking down at his raw burns. “But I am glad you didn’t die that night. Because without even realising it, that raven kept me sane. You kept me alive when I wanted to give up, brother. Hana’s right.”

“That may be so. But it doesn’t change the fact that she never once tried to find me and turn me back. There was no explanation for what she did. I don’t even know who the fuck she is. But one thing I know for sure is, when I find her, I will get my revenge. She might be able to hide from a raven, but she can’t hide from me.”