Page 20 of Dark Souls
Forget Me
A s the morning sun filtered through the window, I stared at the two words written across the bathroom mirror in my crimson lipstick and allowed my fangs to snap down in fury. If it wasn’t for this message and the delicious ache between my legs from the hottest fuck I’d ever had, I might have thought last night was a dream. But no. The proof that it had really happened was staring me in the face. And to really twist the knife he’d just plunged into my heart, he’d ruined my favourite lipstick that was discontinued to do it. Absolute dickhead . My hands tightened their grip on the porcelain sink so fiercely that I knew if I didn’t calm down, I’d end up doing even more damage to Miles’ cabin.
Forget Me.
Forget him? Fucking forget him? Was he serious? What did he think last night was? A one-night stand? The fact he even thought he could hook-up with his soulmate and just take off without so much as see you later had me reeling with so much anger and frustration, I felt like I was about to detonate. How fucking dare he! Screw forgetting him, I’d hunt him down and kill him for treating his own soulmate like a first-class hooker.
‘Calm down. I am sure there is an explanation for this.’ Rue tried to be the rational one for the first time in our life, which just proved how pissed I really was.
‘Oh yeah? What possible explanation could he have for fucking us, telling us to forget him and leaving before sunrise that would prove he isn’t the biggest asshole ever born?’ I demanded and felt her bristle at my tone, but she still retreated, knowing there really was no hidden agenda in his actions. They spoke loud and clear. He didn’t want me.
I’d never felt more like an idiot in my entire life. For the first time, I’d let my guard down with someone instantly because I believed that he was the one person who would never hurt me. He was my soulmate for Christ’s sake. If I couldn’t trust him not to break my heart, how could I ever trust anyone in this life?
Serves me right for thinking with my vagina instead of my brain.
I let the excitement, Calli’s lethal drink and his insane hotness impact my sanity and threw myself at him. I wasn’t blaming him for the sex. That was on me. I wanted it. Did I regret it? As much as I wanted to, I knew I didn’t. But clearly, I was deluded to think he and I were on the same page. Just because he fucked me, it didn’t mean he wanted me for anything more. I swallowed the emotions that threatened to come to the surface. No. No way in hell was I crying over some arrogant prick who didn’t even have the balls to reject me to my face. Not that vampires could be rejected anyway. And that realisation stung even more.
For werewolves, rejection of fated mates was uncommon but still very possible. Wolves could reject their mate as long as they hadn’t physically marked them yet and sealed their souls together through their bond. But vampires were different. The bond was instant and intense. Our souls were destined for each other no matter what. The only way a bond could be broken was through death. So, yep, looks like I was going to have to kill him after all.
’You’re not serious! Because I’ll never allow it, ’ Rue yelled.
I sighed, lowering my head to my chest because I couldn’t look at those two words or my hungover reflection for a second longer.
’ Of course I’m not serious. But what are we supposed to do now? Because you and I both know, forgetting him and pretending we don’t know he is out there somewhere living his life while we live ours is not going to work for us.’
‘Then we will find him. And we make him grovel.’
‘And if he doesn’t want to grovel? If he doesn’t want anything to do with us? Then what? And have you forgotten that we were so wasted and horny last night that we didn’t even find out a damn thing about him? We don’t even know his name! Where on Earth do we even begin to look for him?’
Once again, she shut up because she knew I was right. This was a mess. But what’s new? Apparently, everything in my life was in chaos. My mind drifted to Heathen and just how reckless I had been last night. I knew what Heathen was capable of and how possessive he was over me. Sleeping with Red (that’s what the asshole was going to have to go by) was dangerous. If Heathen had shown up, Red would no longer be breathing. Though the darkness I’d glimpsed in my mate last night made me believe he was someone people feared, he’d still be no match for a Demonski Upir, right? Maybe him disappearing on me was for the best. I had enough on my plate with an obsessed demon stalker who apparently needed my help. For what, I still didn’t know. I had the Underground event to prepare for. My brothers were struggling to defeat the evil in the Heroux realm alone and my family were focused on helping them by throwing themselves into vigorous research. I had plenty of things to keep my mind occupied. The last thing I needed in my life was a disgustingly hot bad boy who fucks like a god but can’t stick around to have breakfast with his soulmate. He wants me to forget him? Fine. Consider it done.
’ Pfft.’ Rue rolled her eyes. Yeah, we both knew we weren’t forgetting him ever but I refused to sit around and throw a pity party. That just wasn’t my style. I’d find him one way or another.
“What the hell happened here? Ilaria?” my mum’s voice bellowed from the doorway and I dived forwards, wiping the lipstick off the mirror with my sleeve in haste. God, another secret I was going to have to keep from my family because if they found out about this, I’d be mortified, and he’d be a walking dead man. On second thoughts…
‘Don’t you dare!’
I walked out of the bathroom looking like a complete disaster. I was still in last night’s clothes and my hair was a tangled mess from falling asleep with it still damp and roughed up from the best sex I’d had— no, not even going there!
“I’m right here. No need to shout. My head is already pounding,” I groaned, lifting my hand to nurse my hangover. Calli stepped forwards, over the shards of glass on the floor and handed me a small vial of orange liquid.
“Hangover cure.” She smiled as I took it and necked it in one go like a shot.
“What happened to the door? Are you okay? Did someone break in? Why didn’t you call for us?” My mum was in full worry mode as she started inspecting the cabin door and the broken window before scanning the room on high alert.
I winced as the potion started to do its magic on the ebbing pain in my head until it was pretty much gone completely. I exhaled with my eyes closed, bracing myself for what was about to come, but there was no way I could tell her the truth because a really stupid part of me still had hope. Hope that Rue was right, and we’d be able to fix this with our mate. But my family would lose their minds if they knew what he’d done, and it was a headache I wasn’t willing to deal.
“I forgot my keys and locked myself out. I’m sorry. I’ll pay Miles for the door, don’t worry.”
Mum froze, her purple eyes narrowing with icicles that could freeze the arctic. Ah shit.
“You did this? You smashed a window because you forgot your keys? What the fuck, Ilaria!”
“Language, mother.” My attempt to mimic her favourite scolding of my potty mouth fell flat as her nostrils flared. It was hereditary, clearly.
“Why wouldn’t you just knock on one of our cabins? You don’t smash a window to get in like a criminal, Ilaria! What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was high, remember? Because you let me drink Calli’s concoction. I’ll apologise to Miles and pay for the damage, okay? You know Miles, he’ll just laugh it off anyway.”
“That is not the point. I can’t believe you’d do this! I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful, no matter how high you are!”
“Mum, can we not do this now.” I huffed, turning to start throwing my stuff in my suitcase.
“I’m ringing Miles right now, and you can explain it to him.”
“Fine. Whatever. I said I was sorry, and I was going to tell him myself anyway.”
She growled, her wolf’s presence at the surface as she turned and stormed out of the cabin with her phone to her ear. I grabbed a new change of clothes and stood up straight to find my mum’s best friend watching me suspiciously with a naughty glint in her hazel eyes.
“Something you want to say, Calli?” I asked as she picked up a towel and threw it at me.
“Go and have a shower to rid yourself of that tousled, flushed ‘I got down and dirty last night’ look you have going on right now. My potion is good but it’s not that good.”
My eyes widened as I froze . Shit, was it really that obvious?
“Don’t worry. My lips are sealed. I am presuming you’d rather I kept your wild night to myself and your mum is too pissed about the door to have even got a good look at you yet. So, if you don’t want all the questions, jump in that shower asap.”
“Oh my god, thank you!” I exhaled in relief. She smiled mischievously as I grabbed the towel, clothes and make-up and walked back into the bathroom.
“Ilaria.” I paused in the doorway to look back at her. “You are like a second daughter to me so just promise me you are being safe, and I’m not going to regret keeping this quiet. Because I am guessing what happened to the door wasn’t because you forgot your keys.”
“I’m good, Calli. I’m not in danger or anything, I swear.”
She nodded as I attempted to close the door but called out, “At least tell me it was good?”
I sighed deeply. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“So, what exactly are we looking for?” I asked Grandma Maddy as we scanned the rows and rows of ancient books in the castle library. After I’d spent the afternoon grovelling to Miles and cleaning not just my cabin but all the ones we used last night as a punishment for the window I didn’t even break, I’d transported myself straight to the castle to hide away from my parents’ wrath. It didn’t last long though, because they’d already planned to come down here to start researching anything that might help my brothers in their battle against some mysterious evil force that was turning wolves into infected zombie beasts. My entire family were sitting at the huge table in the dining room, going through endless books for anything that might help them. To escape the tension in the room, I’d offered to help Grandma by scouring the aisles of the castle library.
“Anything that could give us a clue as to who or what could be behind this kind of power. It sounds so awful. I can’t imagine what the people from that realm are going through. And your poor brothers are feeling the pressure to figure this out before it’s too late. I wish we could find a way to just go and help them ourselves, but we are trying to respect your brother’s decision and Heroux’s customs too.” She yawned loudly, raising her hand to cover her mouth before she smiled at me. “I know, none of us have been getting much sleep from worrying about them. This is the first time this family has been apart for so long. It must be very hard for you too, darling. Being a triplet and as close as you three are.”
I ran my fingers across the spines as I nodded, feeling a little guilty. I’d been so distracted by Heathen, The Underground and now Red that my brothers’ absence hadn’t affected me as much as I knew it should have. Yes, I missed them like crazy. A piece of me was lost without them here, but at the same time, I felt a sense of freedom that I had never had before.
We’d always done everything together. We’d barely been apart growing up, and they meant everything to me. They were my comfort. My home. But it wasn’t until now I realised just how much I had leaned on them. If I was bored, Leif was there to cause mischief with. When I was frustrated or angry, Lorcan’s calm presence would soothe me and keep me sane. When I was sad, Leif would be the first to make me laugh. When I needed advice, Lorcan would be the first to listen to my problems. And when I was in trouble, they’d always have my back, no matter what.
“I miss them a lot,” I replied, pulling out a book on spells and flicking through it but barely paying attention to what was on the pages. “But I don’t know. I think it was time for us all to figure out things on our own. Lorcan was born to be a leader and a hero. And Leif, he just wants adventure. They are both on their own paths now, and I’m happy for them. And I’m not worried. I know they will be fine. They are Romano-Blacks. We can overcome anything.”
I wasn’t sure if I was saying that more for her sake or for mine. Because that’s what I needed to believe. Doubt and worry were only going to send me spiralling into panic and anxiety. Two emotions I did not cope well with from past experiences. Maybe that was why I was throwing myself into my surrounding distractions.
“You are right. They will be fine.” She smiled, reaching out for my hand and giving it a squeeze.
I placed the book back on the shelf and turned to watch her as she added another book to the pile she was carrying. “Grandma, can I ask you something? Something personal?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything, Ilaria. You know I am an open book.”
That is what I loved about my Grandma Maddy. She truly was. Sometimes, she was too open, but you could never fault her transparency. I admired how she could so freely express her thoughts and emotions.
“I know when you first met Grandpapi you were hesitant about being his mate because he was Lucius’ son and an enemy of the wolves, but did you ever contemplate actually rejecting him?”
She paused, a small smile on her lips as she placed the books down on the shelf and leaned against it to give me her full attention. “Honestly, yes. I tried to reject him twice.” My eyes widened at that knowledge. I knew they had a complicated start to their love story, but I had no idea she actually tried to reject him as her mate. “But, of course, he never let me.” Her smile widened, but it wasn’t solely with happiness. I could see the guilt hiding behind it. “It’s funny really. When I first met your grandpapi, he believed he wasn’t capable of love or deserving of it. He said he didn’t know how to show love because he’d only ever known brutality. Yet, he was the one who refused to give up. He was the one who fought for us even when it felt impossible from the very beginning. Yes, his methods were a little… unorthodox.” She chuckled at the memories that were racing through her mind.
“You mean because he kidnapped you?”
“Yes. And other things. I mean, he followed me around as a flipping bird.” She laughed loudly, which made me grin from ear to ear. “But the point is, I was willing to reject him because I judged him before I knew him. I saw his darkness and thought that was all he could ever be. But I was so very wrong. Luckily, I realised that quickly or I would have made the biggest mistake of my life.”
I chewed at my bottom lip as I folded my arms across my chest, leaning against the shelves as my mind raced with thoughts of Red and Heathen. Even though Heathen wasn’t my soulmate, he acted as though he was. While my actual soulmate wanted me to forget I’d ever met him. What was I supposed to do with that?
“So, you didn’t want him? At the beginning?” I asked her again just to clarify. I was trying to understand Red’s actions. His thought process. Why fuck me and leave me without even giving this a chance? It was him who sought me out. He came to me. Found me. And then just left. Why?
“Oh no. I wanted him. I wanted him badly.” She shot me an exaggerated expression. “The moment I first laid eyes on him, every cell in my body came alive. I felt more in his presence than I had in my entire life. He was like a magnet, pulling me in. Even when I wanted to kick and scream and run away, I couldn’t. I never really had a chance. I was an idiot to believe I could have ever walked away from him.”
I swallowed, forcing my anger and hurt down. Peering down at my boots, I tried to hide the emotions on my face. Red walked away. Was it so easy for him?
“You know I don’t mind answering any of these questions, but I have to ask, is there something on your mind, sweetie? About your soulmate?”
The truth was on the tip of my tongue. I lifted my head and held her gaze. Her sparkling grey eyes were so calm and comforting that I felt my bottom lip tremble. She immediately dived forwards, wrapping her arms around me tightly and stroking the back of my head. I closed my eyes, fighting to keep the tears at bay. I wasn’t going to cry. No way. He didn’t deserve my tears.
“Come here. Come and sit with me.” Grandma tugged us down to the floor, where she kept her arms wrapped around my shoulder as we sat with our legs bent and backs against the shelves. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m not sure that I can. Or want to.”
“Okay. I understand. But just know I am here. I’ll always be here. You know, when I first found out I was mated to your grandpapi, I hid it from everyone for weeks. I didn’t tell a soul because, at the time, I was ashamed. I thought no one would understand and I wanted to deal with it on my own. But I wish so much that I had talked it out. It would have helped ease the pain and perhaps, I would have thought differently about my situation. Been more open to the bond that was meant for me.”
“It’s–” I inhaled deeply, feeling torn between talking to someone about it and wanting to try and forget it ever happened. “It’s not me that won’t give it a chance. It’s him.”
I had to applaud her for how well she hid the shock on her face and tried to look calm instead. “You’ve met your soulmate?”
“Last night. He was at the resort. I saw him when I was swimming in the lake, but he didn’t talk to me. And then, I found him in my cabin when we all went to bed.”
“He broke into your cabin?” She was quick to make the link to the smashed door as I nodded my head. “Did he… did he hurt you?”
“No.” I shook my head with a desperate laugh. “Not like that anyway. We talked for a bit and then…” I eyed her carefully. “We slept together. It was out of this world. Or I thought it was. I fell asleep after and when I woke up this morning, he was gone.”
“He just left?” The anger in her voice was palpable. “Without saying anything?”
“Oh, he left me a message to find on my bathroom mirror.” I chuckled. Laughing seemed to ease the hurt. “ Forget me .”
“Forget me?” she repeated, frowning. “What the… Oh my god, you wait until I get my hands on him! What’s his name?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t even know his name. That’s the part I am so annoyed at myself for. I know literally nothing about him. Just what he looks like, that he’s a vampire, and he has a slight European accent.”
She started bobbing her head, her mind working fast. “Okay. Well, that is not nothing. I am sure we can track him down. Goddess, doesn’t he know who you are? Who your parents are? He thinks he can get away with treating you like that? He is in for a world of torture.”
“No!” I panicked, turning to face her with pleading eyes. “You cannot tell anyone about this. Please. Can we just keep this between us? Please, Grandma. I’m not ready to deal with the fallout from them all. Until I decide what to feel or how to even handle this, I just don’t want to face the questions. Please.”
She pinched her lips together, clearly unhappy about keeping this a secret from the rest of my family. “Okay. I won’t tell them. Only because I know how they will all react, and I can see you are still processing. But you need to tell them eventually.”
“Thank you,” I breathed in relief.
We sat in silence for a little while, staring straight ahead until I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. She was right. I was still processing, but it also felt good to talk to someone about him.
“He’s gorgeous, Grandma. I hate how hot he is.”
She scoffed and smiled. “Of course he is. How could he not be as your mate? Let me guess, he’s broody, dark and dangerous. A little different?”
I nodded, the image of his face appearing in my mind. Those blazing eyes always slanted into a passionate glare. The stubbled, strong jawline and full lips. That ruthless scar just added to his mystery. His mouth-watering physique oozed power and agility. That tanned skin covered in tats. That huge, pierced dick. And that deep crimson hair. He was so fucking sexy it was sinful.
“Yeah, he’s definitely dark. Pretty much the ultimate punk bad boy.” I exhaled a frustrated breath. “A face like that isn’t easy to forget. I can’t stop thinking about him. About how right he felt. I feel like such an idiot.”
“No. You are not an idiot. No man walks away from their soulmate without a good reason. It may not be a good reason to us, but to him, maybe it is. He’s running scared. But you’re not, Ilaria. I know you. I know who you are, and you don’t give up. Not when it’s something you want. And you want him, right?”
“I—” I hesitated. Yes, I wanted him. But I wasn’t sure I wanted someone who didn’t want me back. I had more pride than that. “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Trust me, if he found you on purpose, and you slept together, he wants you on some level. So don’t pay any attention to his ‘forget me’,” she said with conviction. My eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t even try, Ilaria. He is your soulmate. Yes, he did a dickish thing and you need to give him hell for it. Don’t let him get away with it. Find him and make him explain himself. And go from there. Because you will always feel regret if you just walk away. And we both know that isn’t you. You are a Romano. It’s in your blood to fight for what you want.”
“You’re right.” I stood up abruptly, brushing down my skirt. “I’m a motherfucking Romano and once I find him, he’s gonna realise exactly what that means.”
“That’s our girl!” Grandma smiled widely with that naughty twinkle in her eyes that only the women in my family had who always knew how to get what they wanted. As we grabbed the pile of books and headed back towards the dining room, I felt that steadfast determination ignite inside me. I had no idea how I’d find him or how long it would take, but I would. And when I did, I wouldn’t be letting him forget me so easily.
Remembering the other upcoming event I had on my calendar, I paused before we came into ear-shot of the dining room. If anyone in my family had fancy dress costumes, it would be this woman. “Grandma, you don’t happen to have a black wig that I can borrow, do you?”
She beamed, clearly thinking this undercover look would be used to lure out my mate or something. “Oh yeah, of course I do. Meet me in the red room after this.” She winked.
My grandparents’ red room of pleasure? No thanks . I’d rather shave all the hair off my head than borrow a wig from there. I gagged dramatically, which caused her to roar with laughter as she strolled into the dining room armed with more hefty books.