Page 28 of Dark Souls

CAPS

“M ama, you must eat. Please,” I begged, prying open my mama’s ice-cold hands and placing the bloody carcass of the fox I’d hunted for them. I wished it was more. But I had grown too weak myself to attack anything bigger so close to the village without risking being seen. Feeding Hana and mama first would always come before my own insufferable hunger.

Her vacant eyes tore right through me. My desperation pushed me to the brink of tears. “Mama, please.”

When she made no attempt to acknowledge me or the offering I’d killed for her, I fell back onto the forest floor and hung my head in my hands. I didn’t know what to do anymore. It had been three weeks and she hadn’t fed or eaten once. She hadn’t spoken. She just screamed in the dead of the night, the images of her soulmate being brutally murdered haunting her nightmares. And when she was awake, she was this way. Completely broken.

“Why is mama not eating?” Hana asked in a quiet voice, watching her own mother with intense worry and anguish on her dirty face. Such intense worry and anguish that no nine-year-old child should ever have to experience.

I shifted my attention to her fragile frame, swamped in a torn, grubby blanket I had stolen from the back of a carriage days before. From the bluish tinge of Hana’s lips, it still wasn’t enough to keep the beginnings of the Serbian winter chill away. I moved next to her, pulling her under my arm and rubbing my hands up and down her body to warm us both.

“Mama is just not feeling hungry now. She will eat later.” I sighed, trying to bear the stress of it all myself. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t hide the truth from my little sister. She wasn’t stupid, and she could see it with her own eyes. Mama had given up. She was alive in body but not in soul. I glanced up at the darkening sky, feeling that same dread that came every night. Where would we sleep tonight? Where could I keep them safe from the elements but also from the world? From everyone that wanted us dead. We were being hunted like cattle. So we could never stop moving. We could never stay in one place for too long. But with mama’s refusal to eat, she had grown too weak to use her vampire speed to travel and Hana had yet to come into her full abilities. I had carried them both for as long as I could but now, the hunger and lack of blood was affecting my strength.

“I’m c-cold, Luka and so tired. I don’t want to walk anymore. Can we just stay here tonight?” Hana shivered in my arms and my heart lurched. I peered around the darkness of the forest and down at the small fire I had made to warm us. I’d have to put it out soon to avoid being found. Shrugging my jacket off, I wrapped it around Hana’s shoulders and smiled before pulling her back into my body. She rested her head against my chest and closed her eyes.

“Won’t you be cold?” she whispered.

“No. I will be fine. You will keep me warm, little one.” She hugged into me tighter as I attempted to fight the chatter of my teeth when a freezing wind picked up through the trees. Leaning back against the trunk of the tree, I let Hana sleep and fought the exhaustion that clawed at me, too. The need to keep Hana and mama safe forced my brain to stay alert, listening to every tiny crunch of leaves from an animal nearby or groan of the branches ahead.

When the moon was settled high above our heads, mama slowly blinked and a single tear slid down her cheek. The rare moment when life seemed to return to her had my heart racing. She peered down at the dead animal in her hands, her fangs unsheathing. Hope rose in my chest as I prayed for them to sink into the corpse. After a few moments, she moved her head to the side and looked straight into my eyes. My body stilled at the heart-wrenching pain and anger that lived in them.

“I’ll never forgive you,” she said with a chilling coldness that was so different from the usual warmth I had always known. My eyes watered and lips trembled as that crippling guilt and pain that now lived within me came to the surface once more. “I love you. But I will never forgive you, Lukas.” She threw the fox and it landed at my side as silent tears fell from my eyes. “You should both eat that. I have no use for it.”

“Mama,” I choked as she turned her head away from me and stared out at the distance, her eyes glossing over with numbness once again. “I’m sorry.”

The chime from the old grandfather clock that stood in the corner of the eerie dining room jolted me from my sleep. Each strike reverberated around the empty room, echoing off the barren walls and causing my heart to thump wildly in my chest as the memory faded. I rubbed my eyes, dropping my boots off the once polished and grand table, which was now dulled by a thick coating of dust, and sat up with a heavy sigh.

The mournful melodies echoed through the heavy, stale air and announced the passing of another hour. I glanced at the many empty chairs around the table and then narrowed my gaze on the clock face. As the last chord chimed, I picked up Ilaria’s dagger and scratched another tally mark onto the wooden surface of the table. Forty-one hours. That’s how many hours it had been since I found out she’d left this realm. The rhythmic ticking of the clock only amplified my restlessness, but it was better than the oppressive silence I faced down in the cellars, staring at the blank walls.

I clicked my tongue as I stared down at the black screen of her phone, willing it to spring to life. Of course, there was the possibility that she was already back from Heroux and just didn’t want to contact me. That she would listen to my warnings and keep her distance even after hearing about my meeting with her Grandma. The memory of Ilaria telling me with so much spirit that she was a controlling man’s worst nightmare came to mind. She had said if I told her to do something, she’d do the opposite just to spite me. Well, I seemed to hold on to those words now. But I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again. After the way I’d treated her from the moment we met, she had every right to tell me to fuck off. I just wanted to know she was safe. Alive. It seems I could barely function without that knowledge.

Standing up, I marched over to the drinks cabinet and poured myself a fresh vodka. It was only midday, which meant I had hours to waste alone in this prison until the sun set and I could finally escape the silent torture of my mind.

As I sat back down and took a sip, the strange restlessness that I’d felt ever since my meeting with Madeline Romano intensified to a sharpness that was extremely uncomfortable. Painful almost. I leaned forward, placing the glass on the table and closing my eyes as I fisted my top against my chest. I suddenly felt… uneasy. No, it was more than that. Something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just knew… Ilaria was in trouble. The deadly kind.

I stood up abruptly, causing the chair to screech against the wooden floorboards and zoomed to the front door of the manor, yanking it open, only to be flung back by the magical force that kept me bound inside. I roared, hissing through my teeth as I used all my speed and strength to attack the force field once more, only to find my body catapulted across the entrance hall again and slamming into the crumbling wall. My chest heaved with frustration and that red haze cast over my vision as I lost my shit.

After blindly destroying everything within my reach, I fell to my knees by the front door, staring out over the cliff at the thrashing waves beyond. This was why she could never be with me. This was why I could never be the mate she deserved. I could never protect her the way a mate should. I closed my eyes, trying my best to muster some kind of patience from somewhere as I listened to the faint ticking of the grandfather clock down the hall, reminding myself that each sound was one second closer to me being able to leave. Even though the stress of time passing so fucking slowly was unrelenting.

Hours passed and I hadn’t moved. The splintered floorboards were digging into my knees like knives and my body ached from the tension and rigidness every muscle held, but my red eyes remained focused on the horizon as I watched the sun dip bit by bit in the distance. The uneasiness in my chest, knowing she was in danger, never subsided but only heightened, which deepened my fury.

A vibration that was so foreign to me came from the dining room and my head snapped to the side. Using my vampire speed, I raced back in to find Ilaria’s phone screen had come alive. Picking it up, my heart thundered as I read the message on the screen from the contact ID: Grandma Maddy.

I want my dagger back, douchebag.

My knees nearly buckled under the full force of relief that flooded through me. I sat down in the chair, staring at the words, unable to believe that uneasiness had all been in my head. I’d never experienced anything so intense since I’d turned off my humanity. The instinctual need to see her, to know she was safe, had tormented me for days, but what I’d been feeling all afternoon was something else entirely. It was as if I could sense that she was about to be ripped away from me. That I’d never see her again.

My fingers flew across the screen as I typed out a reply.

ARE YOU SAFE? ARE YOU HURT?

I watched three little dots dancing across the screen and I had no idea what that meant. My heart was hammering, refusing to calm down until I knew this was really her. Until I knew she was unharmed.

A new message appeared.

I’m home.

PROVE IT. I WANT A PICTURE.

You have no right to demand anything of me, Red.

My eyes narrowed.

BUT THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION. ARE YOU HURT?

Not that it matters to you, but I’ll live. Just. You can go back to pretending I don’t exist now. Well, after you return my baby to me.

I growled at that and had to stop myself from breaking the phone in my grip.

JUST? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT HAPPENED? FOR FUCKSAKE ILARIA. ARE YOU OKAY?

Her reply was slower this time. I stood up and started pacing the room, staring as the dots appeared and disappeared several times.

I’m fine. You seem concerned? I thought you felt nothing but anger? Or is that what the aggressive CAPS are for? To hide your concern behind your anger?

CAPS?

Capital letters, dickhead. Have you never sent a text before?

I frowned, looking at the keyboard on the screen. All the letters were capitals. There wasn’t any other option. What was I missing?

NO, I HAVEN’T. AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF. BUT YES, TAKE MY CAPS AS ME BEING AGGRESSIVELY CONCERNED. I SENSED YOU WERE IN DANGER. I DON’T KNOW WHY. WHERE ARE YOU?

She didn’t reply. I was losing my damn mind.

DON’T IGNORE ME. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

You are a mind fuck, Red. What do you want from me? Because the last I checked, you wanted me to stay as far away from you as possible. I did what you asked, didn’t I? I went to another fucking realm.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU NEVER DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD?

So you don’t want me to stay away from you? Is that what you’re saying? If you tell me you were trying out reverse psychology on me, I will rip your fucking dick off.

I ran my hand through my red hair but couldn’t help smirking at her threat.

NO. I MEANT WHAT I SAID. YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME.

She immediately sent me a rolling eyes emoji with a middle finger.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS… I CAN’T SEEM TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU.

There was another pause in her instant replies and I held my breath. What was I doing? She was listening to me. She was staying away, and I was doing the fucking opposite.

See. Mind fuck.

I scoffed, throwing the phone down on the table as I dropped my head in my hands. When the phone vibrated once again, I picked it up. Her next words had my dick growing fucking hard in response.

So don’t stay away, Luka.

I rubbed my hand down my face. Just imagining her saying my real name out loud caused a flurry of emotions that I couldn’t comprehend. I knew I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to. But what that meant for us, I didn’t know. Because nothing had changed. With the way things were, with who I was and what I had to do, we had no future. She was still a royal princess with no idea who I truly was. I could never let The Devil find out who she was to me and if she knew the truth about me, she would never want me. She could never accept me. And how could I expect her to when I couldn’t even accept myself?

WHERE ARE YOU?

At my grandparent’s castle, but I didn’t mean right now! Now is not a good time. Things are a little intense here. You turning up would send my family over the edge.

THEN MEET ME TOMORROW. IN THE WOODS OUT THE FRONT OF YOUR GRANDPARENT’S CASTLE.

On one condition…

WHAT’S THAT?

You say please.

Despite myself, I smiled. The first genuine smile for a long time. The uneasiness dissolved in my chest and I relaxed back in the chair just as the sun disappeared from sight through the window.

APOLOGIES, WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?

Don’t worry. I know you don’t have any.

I smiled wider. Once upon a time, some might have classed me as a gentleman. My mama had been so strict about raising her boys with impeccable manners. But that boy was long gone. Or so I thought.

DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A GENTLEMAN, LOVE? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?

Depends. Will you still be an asshole in the bedroom?

I shifted in my chair, my erection beginning to throb as I pressed my palm to it. Dare I say it…were we flirting?

ALWAYS.

And are you capable of being a gentleman outside of it?

To be honest, I wasn’t even sure anymore. I’d buried that side of myself so long ago, I knew it would take a lot to bring it out.

MAYBE.

Prove it.

I smiled.

WILL YOU MEET ME TOMORROW IN THE FOREST WHEN THE SUN SETS? PLEASE?

Well, would you look at that? Miracles do happen.

I chuckled, placing the phone back on the surface of the table and dropped my chin in my hand as I stared out the window. Well, fuck, I suppose they do.