Page 25 of Dark Souls

“Who are you? What’s your name? Your real name,” I asked quietly, holding his gaze. He broke our eye contact, glancing away.

“I’m no one, Ilaria. Not to you.”

I felt my heart twist. “How can you say that? You are my soulmate! Does that not mean anything to you?”

His hands clenched into fists at his side as he closed his eyes. “You need to leave.”

“No.”

“Ilaria.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fuck!” he roared, zooming towards me with his blazing eyes and his fangs bared. His hands gripped the side of the armchair, tilting it back, so it was balancing on the back legs as he trapped me in it.

My breath hitched but not out of fear like he clearly expected. Being this close to him again was stirring up all those forbidden desires I was trying to keep buried so I could maintain a clear head. But his scent, the warmth of his body so close to mine, his rapid breathing tickling my face was only heightening my need. I was not a weak woman, but I was starting to realise this man may be my weakness.

“I’m not afraid of you,” I whispered, our noses so close they were almost touching.

Those hellish eyes flicked down to my lips. “You should be. You should run from me. Get as far away from me as you can because I am bad fucking news.”

“If you don’t want me, why did you kill that man?” I challenged him again, wanting to break through and prove to him that he felt more than just rage when it came to us. Wetting my lips when his eyes remained on them, I arched my back a little, pressing my head back into the cushion so I could stare into his eyes. He slowly lowered the chair back to four legs but kept his hands gripping the arms like he needed it to ground him.

“He lay his hand on you. So I ripped it off. He disrespected you. So I ended his life. It is as simple as that.”

“You disrespected me, too.” I arched an eyebrow. “Who fucks their soulmate and leaves without a goodbye?”

His eyes flashed up to mine as he brushed the tips of our noses together. “I’d rip my own head off if I could, trust me.”

“I’d be more than happy to do it for you. In fact, it’s all I’ve been dreaming of ever since.”

His lips lifted into a devilish smirk that made my knees weak. Why did he have to be so disgustingly hot? Why was the universe so cruel?

“Please. Do me the honours. Put me out of my misery.”

Our breathing mingled together, mixing as one breath as we got lost in each other’s eyes.

“Stop staring at me like that, Spitfire. Those fucking eyes are too much,” he husked, sending waves of desire coursing through my veins as my heart raced.

“How am I looking at you? Like I am not scared of wanting you? Like I’m remembering what it felt like to have your huge cock stretching me so good it hurts? It makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it? Looking me in the eyes. Why?”

“Don’t do this, Ilaria. I’ll destroy you. I’ll corrupt you. You give yourself to me and I’ll ruin your fucking life.” His lips brushed against mine as if I was the one controlling his actions. “Go home,” he ordered, contradicting his words by keeping me trapped in the chair. Actions speak louder than words, my beloved.

“Why do my eyes make you uncomfortable?” I pushed, feeling how close to the edge we both were to breaking.

“Ilaria.”

“Why?”

He bit his lower lip between his fangs as his eyes danced with fire. “Because… when I look into those pretty fucking eyes, they make me forget. For a moment, they make me forget everything I am. Everything I’ve done. They make me want things I can’t have.”

“What things?” I whispered. I knew I was treading dangerous waters here; one wrong move and I’d lose him. My fingers ached to reach up and caress his high cheekbones or trace his tattooed chest but I refrained, remembering how he’d tensed at the cabin when I’d tried to touch him. Instead, I lowered my hand to my thigh, drawing small circles over my skin as his gaze followed the movement.

“I want things I don’t deserve. Night after night, I want to feel your body shuddering beneath mine while I fuck you in our bed. I want to learn every little noise you make and what they mean when I’m exploring your limits. I want to draw a map of your body and memorise every curve, every scar, every blemish, every inch until I know it better than I know my own.”

My breathing became laboured, listening to his seductive words in that deep, accented drawl. I hitched my dress up my thighs as his words set my soul alight and the embers danced across my skin. His hungry eyes drank in my creamy thighs and the glimpse of my black lace thong as my fingers moved to the material, needing to satisfy the ache in my core and wanting to torture him at the same time.

“I want to know the taste of your blood. I want to cover you in mine. I want us raw, wild and untamed. I want to escape the world I know and only live in yours. Be where you are. I want to feel what it’s like to have everything I don’t deserve.”

My back arched as my fingers rotated over the fabric of my underwear, circling my clit as I moaned, “Who says you don’t deserve those things?”

He swallowed, his breathing shallow as his grip tightened on the chair, his eyes unable to move from where I was pleasuring myself with no inhibitions.

“I do. I’m not a good man, Ilaria. I never will be. You deserve better than me.”

“What if I don’t want a good man?” I moaned as the pleasure built. Just having his dangerous eyes watching me with so much primal need like it would kill him if I stopped was the biggest turn on of my life. My fingers dipped inside me and he groaned. “I just want someone real,” I breathed, my voice strained as the orgasm built. “I don’t need you to be honourable or perfect. Clearly, you are far from that but I am still here. I just need you.”

A moan escaped me as he leaned forwards, pressing his forehead against mine as my fingers moved faster, chasing the pleasure that was imminent. With our chests heaving, his pupils blew wide as his eyes held me captive, inches from each other.

“Are you going to come for me, love?”

“No,” I panted. “I’m going to come for me. You’ll be on your knees begging before I ever come for you again.”

He smirked, liking my attitude and just that sinful twinkle in his eyes commanded the orgasm from me and I broke apart beneath him. Our foreheads pressed together, noses brushing and lips parted as I tried to come down from that high.

“Give me a taste, at least,” he husked. In a final attempt to make him suffer, I lifted my fingers towards his parted lips and just as he was about to suck them clean, I did it myself instead.

He closed his eyes, his expression pained as he groaned, “мо?а вечна мука.”

My heart fluttered at the foreign words that left his lips. The accent was so perfect; it was clearly his native language. But I had no idea what language it was. European? Possibly Russian? Whatever he said, it was hot as fuck.

“What does that mean?” I panted, feeling more aroused than I thought was possible after an orgasm.

“My eternal torture,” he husked, brushing his lips against mine.

Fucking swoon. My heart was doomed.

“What language was that? Where are you from?” I asked, feeling excitement that I was finally learning something real about him. But as the words left my lips, I felt him withdrawing, pulling back from me. I grabbed his face in my hands, forcing him to stay with me at the moment for a little longer. “Just be real with me. Please. Give me something. Your name? Tell me your name.”

He inched back with a blank look on his face, retreating from my hands. The moment was gone. The intimacy, the connection I’d felt, was gone. He was back to wearing that cold, emotionless mask of The Dealer.

“You already know too much. It’s best if you don’t know. I’m doing this for your own good. You need to leave. You need to forget me. I can never be real for you. I’m barely even alive.” He stood up straight, walking over to the bar and pouring another drink in a glass this time.

The prickling sensation that always came with the frustration at being told no caused me to hiss at him through my fangs as I jumped out of the chair. “You know what… fuck you. You don’t want to be with me. I get it. But pushing me away will only send me deeper into the arms of another. Because Heath does want me. He’s obsessed with me! So much so that he’s been stalking me for weeks. So you are right, I might never have to see you again but that doesn’t mean I am going to stay away from him.”

A ferocious roar shook the room as he sent his glass flying, smashing it against the wall.

“Keep fucking pushing me, Ilaria, and you will see me snap! Do you think this is fun for me? That I’m doing this because I don’t want you? Of course, I fucking want you. More than I want to breathe. But you have no idea what you are involving yourself in!” he bellowed, finally losing his temper. I smiled. This passion, this fire, I’d hold on to it. Chase it. Because it was so much better than the cold, emotionless persona he otherwise gave me. “This is dangerous. If you value your life, you need to stay the fuck away. Why are you fucking smiling?”

“Maybe I like danger. Maybe I am exactly where I belong. With you, in the darkness.”

“You think you can live in my world? You wouldn’t last a day.”

“Is that a bet?”

“This is ridiculous. For the millionth time, go home!” He was turning red now to match his hair and my smile widened. “You really want to play, love? You really think you can handle who I am? Who Heathen is?”

He stormed towards me and grabbed my handbag. I fought it back from him but he was too damn fast and had already grabbed the membership card. Taking it over to a device on the table, he scanned it into the reader just like the girl had on arrival. The image of that fae, Tamara Rosen, appeared and he threw his head back and let out a dark, vicious laugh, then fixed those fiery eyes on me once again. He turned the screen around, showing me her profile.

“You want to know how Heathen got this card? How he managed to give it to you?”

I swallowed, not liking the crazy in his eyes. I’d pushed him too far, too soon.

“He murdered her, Ilaria. Your beloved Heathen killed her in cold blood. And do you want to know what her crime was? Why she was no longer allowed to live?”

I stared blankly at him, watching the darkness inside him come to the surface, which sent chills across my skin. “No, but you’re going to tell me, anyway.”

“Because of me.” He held my gaze, stepping closer with the profile raised to my face. “Look at her face. She died because she pissed off the wrong man. I let her suck my dick and she didn’t satisfy me. She made a terrible choice. Her desire for me clouded her sanity, and it cost her her life. You don’t want to end up like her, do you? Do you want to end up as a beautiful tragedy, Ilaria?”

Unshed tears burned at the back of my eyes as I stared into his, refusing to believe it. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Heathen would never hurt me, either.”

“Are you sure about that? Willing to bet your life on it? What do they say about me out there? I know you would have heard the rumours tonight. Tell me. What do they say?”

I searched those scarlet irises with desperation. Looking for any sign of remorse for that girl’s life. But there was none. He really was cruel.

“And there it is.” He dropped the device on the table, the clatter echoing around the room as he held my gaze. “She finally sees it. The true beast within.”

“You’re right.” I choked on my own emotions as he straightened his spine, bracing himself for my next words. “I do deserve better.”

I snatched my bag from his hand and disappeared behind a swirl of black smoke, only to appear next to my uncle’s parked car. Sienna and Raiden were in the middle of an argument when they noticed me and came running over.

Raiden tugged me into his chest, squeezing me hard and for the first time in a long time, I welcomed the embrace. It was what I needed as the pain in my heart at leaving my soulmate behind became unbearable.

“What the fuck happened in there? We saw them take the necklace off you and Raiden was losing his head. I knew you’d be fine and I’ve been stopping him from barging in there and ruining the whole operation. But even sex wasn’t distracting him!”

“I’m sorry.” I exhaled as Raiden released me and I pulled myself together to hide my inner turmoil. “I didn’t know there was a no jewellery rule tonight.”

“So, what happened? Are you okay? You look a little pale? Paler than normal, I mean.” Raiden studied me with concern.

“I’m… fine. It was just… a lot. I need to process.”

“So, do we need to be concerned? Should the SIA think about shutting this shit down?” he asked, clearly agitated by my unusually flustered state.

With a shaky hand, I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to clear my mind. I couldn’t stop seeing Red’s face. Leaving him against my will caused me physical pain, but what choice did he give me? I was no one’s doormat. A raw ache had embedded itself in my chest and I was beginning to feel nauseous. Was this what heartbreak felt like? Because it fucking sucked.

“Ilaria?” Sienna came to my side, placing her steady hand on my shoulder as I tried to focus. Of course, they wanted information. But telling them my soulmate was running the illegal Underground club for the most depraved supernaturals was out of the question. I could barely even accept it myself. I’d still give them the truth, just leave out that little mind fuck of a detail.

“It was a tournament to the death. Members were betting on who would win each round. It was brutal, gory and merciless but as far as I’m aware, every contender was a willing participant and seemed to enjoy putting on quite a show. You know until they didn’t. The victor would walk away with a hefty share of the winnings and the glory of being the most feared fighter there.” The insanely hot but fucked-up image of Red clawing open that hybrid’s torso interrupted my thoughts.

“Shit. That sounds vile,” Sienna breathed, glancing over her shoulder at Raiden.

“So only one fighter lived by the end of the night?” Raiden clarified and all I could do was nod. Yeah, my ruthless, cold-hearted mate. They must have thought I was feeling queasy due to the front-row seat to all the action, not because my soulmate was doing everything in his power to push me away from him. “Why would anyone sign up for that?”

“Money. The possibility of fame. We are talking about supernaturals that have twisted morals and enormous egos, Raiden. The question is, what are we going to do about it?” Sienna asked as if this whole situation was already out of my hands. I’d played my part and now it was over to them.

My eyes darted between the couple as they communicated with their eyes. “Honestly,” I said, forcing myself to stay calm so I wouldn’t be pushed out of this. “As of right now, I don’t think interference from the SIA is necessary.”

“Why not? It’s sick what is happening in this club and tonight probably wasn’t even the worst of it.”

“Maybe. But Grandpapi was right. It’s controlled. The members I spoke with tonight were there just to have a good time. To blow off steam and to indulge in their primal instincts. A rogue wolf told me that being a member of the club helped her to control her urges in the real world. It might be too early to say but I don’t think the club is a threat.”

Sienna narrowed her eyes, thinking hard while Raiden studied me. I held his gaze, not shying away from his attention because that would be the quickest way for him to realise there was more to the story than what I was saying. Once again, I felt like the biggest bitch for omitting the full truth, but I just couldn’t face the questions, the pitiful looks or the raging aggression that would come with my family knowing about Red. They all had enough on their plates worrying about my brothers. I didn’t want to add my shit to the load. And deep down, I just really didn’t want their judgment. I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do about this myself, and as much as I loved my family, they’d stomp all over this with their overprotectiveness and need to control.

Raiden’s phone started ringing and I breathed a sigh of relief that his attention had shifted when he answered it.

“Yeah, she’s here. She’s safe. No. It was some underground fighting ring. No. She doesn’t think so.”

I leaned my body against the car door and folded my arms, staring down at my boots as I listened to Raiden answering my mum’s rapid questioning. When she seemed satisfied that all was well, she said something about going to see my brothers in Heroux and my head snapped up. I dived forwards, ripping the phone from his hand before he protested.

“Mum? What’s happening?” There was no way anyone was going to see my brothers and Neve without me. I didn’t care if they had some stupid rule about no vampires being accepted in their realm. I was going.

“My magic finally managed to connect with the White Witch, Kamari. She is the Mother of the Heroux Coven and the only one with the power to create portals between our realms. I told her about The Book of Dark Magic that belonged to your great-grandmother Cora and that I thought it would help the boys and she agreed to let one person into the realm with it. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“No! Let me go! I’ll take it.”

“Ilaria…” Mum’s tone was almost a plea. If she knew I’d kick up a fuss about this, she thought right. Not only was I dying to see my brothers and best friend again, even if it was only briefly but I really, really needed the distraction. I needed to escape the madness rapidly descending on my life and just have some time to…think. Breathe. Get some perspective. Between Heathen, Red, The Underground, I was losing my mind. I needed to be around the people that kept me grounded the most even if they didn’t realise that just being in their presence amidst a pending war was a much-needed holiday for me.

“Please, Mum. You know how much I’ve been missing them. Please. Let me go instead.”

She exhaled and I could imagine her shoulders sagging in defeat. “I suppose you being away will give me the chance to sit the men in this family down and explain where you were tonight.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Fine. I won’t ever stop my three rascals from reuniting. I know how much you’ve been missing them.”

Unexpected tears sprang to my eyes but I blinked them away before anyone noticed. “Thanks, Mum. You have no idea how much I need this right now.”

“Okay, sweetie. Come to Grandpapi’s. We are all here and we will brief you on what you need to tell them.”

I hung up the phone and went to place it in my bag when Raiden coughed, holding his hand out to me. I frowned.

“That’s my phone. I’d quite like it back.”

“Oh, shit yeah.” I placed it in his hand, then rummaged through my bag. “Then where’s mine—” I froze. Ah, motherfucker . My phone and my favourite dagger were still in the locker. With my wig, yellow contacts and Tamara’s membership card left behind with my infuriating soulmate, I had no way back in to retrieve them. “Fuck!”

“What is it?”

“My phone. My baby. They are still in the lockers!”

“Your baby?” Sienna asked, slightly amused.

“My favourite dagger. Solid silver, six-inch blade, hidden wooden spike under an embellished leather handle.” I was close to tears.

Sienna whistled low, shaking her head as her face scrunched with pain. She got it. She was a knife fanatic herself. “That sucks. But we can’t risk you going back in again. I had a SIA tracker placed on your phone which also works as a disabler and will stop it from working so at least that won’t be an issue. They won’t be able to hack into it. Although they will probably try to contact the member that you pretended to be tonight.”

Doubtful. Very doubtful indeed. My heart twisted as I thought of Red’s soulless eyes as he told me she was dead because of him. Heathen murdered her, the very man I was trying to help by going to this event tonight. Did he kill her just to give me her card? The thought made bile rise in my throat.

“You really aren’t looking too good, Ilaria. Let’s get you home.” Raiden opened the back door of his car for me and I didn’t argue, crawling into the warm space and pulling my knees up to my chin. The ache in my chest intensified as the car rumbled to a start and drove us further away from the city. Away from Red.

‘But this gives us the perfect opportunity to see him again! We can demand our dagger back.’ Rue’s voice cracked with pathetic hope as I squeezed my eyes shut.

‘He can keep the goddamn dagger. He can use it to stab himself for all I care.’

‘You don’t mean that! He wants us. I know he does. We were getting through to him at one point. We can’t give up.’

I blocked her out. One voice in my head screaming for me to turn the car around was more than enough.

“You sure you’re alright?” I opened my eyes to see Raiden’s silver discs staring at me with concern in the rear-view mirror.

I gave him a bright smile, hoping it was convincing enough that he’d leave me be. “Yeah. Never better.”