Page 123 of Dark Souls

“This is where they kept you captive,” I whispered. There was no point in making it a question. We both knew it to be true. “I saw it, Luka. What they did to you down here. I’m so sorry.”

He swallowed thickly as I pressed my face into his chest once again. I never wanted to let him go. The silence stretched between us and he slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them around me.

“You’re shaking,” he mumbled, leaning his face down to kiss the top of my head. A choked sob left me, knowing he was more concerned about me right now than about him. I released him and stepped back.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I know I’m a mess. I’m not normally like this, but just feeling and seeing what you went through makes me so—” I couldn’t even find the right words to explain how it made me feel. Like I wanted to burn the entire world to ash. I hated I couldn’t keep it together for him.

“Stop apologising,” he demanded, his red eyes with the slimmest halo of green flaring as he reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek. “You feel, Ilaria. You care. I haven’t had anyone care about me in a really long time. I forgot what that’s like.”

I stepped forward into his chest, grabbing his top in my fists and holding his anxious gaze. “I care about you, Luka. Of course, I care. I want to bring every one of those fuckers back to life so that I can kill them with my bare hands for what they did to you.”

“Don’t worry. I already did that.”

“Good. I’m glad you got your revenge.”

His eyes narrowed as he searched my face. “You’re not disgusted that I killed an entire coven? I wiped out an entire bloodline.”

I shook my head quickly. “They deserved it.”

He licked his lips. “I killed women. Teenagers. Elderly. Everyone that lived in this house and played a part.”

I nodded slowly. I knew most people would see that as monstrous. But I understood him. If anyone killed my family and tortured me, I wouldn’t stop until I’d wiped them out, too.

“Like I said… they deserved it.”

“Not everyone I killed deserved it,” he said, as a pained expression appeared on his face. His humanity teased with his emotions, bringing them to the surface, but I tried to remain nonchalant, so I didn’t cause them to retreat. The panic returned as he dropped his hands back to his sides and glanced over my shoulder at the shrine behind me.

“Is that her? Your mother?”

His eyes bulged with alarm as they met mine and he stepped back, putting physical and emotional distance between us. I could feel his need to shut this down.

“You saw that too?” He dropped his head to his chest and raised his hands in his hair.

I reached out and grabbed one of his hands, forcing him to stay with me. He needed to see that I wasn’t judging him. That I didn’t think he was the monster he believed that made him.

“Luka. What she asked you to do… I can’t even imagine what that must have been like. Living with that for the rest of your life is a burden, but you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” he snapped, any signs of his humanity extinguished and only anger remained. He yanked his hand from mine. “She is no longer here because of me. Her own son. I’m a monster. I wouldn’t blame you for wanting nothing to do with me now that you know.”

“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not true. She said so herself. She was dying painfully. You set her free and in doing so, you gave yourself a chance to survive like she wanted. I am guessing you managed to escape because of her sacrifice?”

He licked his lips and glanced back over at his mother’s bones. I followed his gaze and felt the pain in my chest tighten. “You’ve looked after her. After all this time.”

“She isn’t meant to be here. She is meant to be with...”

“Your father? She said she wanted to be buried with him. Is that right?”

A tense expression passed over his features and his fists clenched at his sides. “I can’t find him. I’ve looked for years for his bones. They need to be together and I can’t even-” He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, his anger snowballing. He clearly blamed himself for that, too. I grabbed his hand, opening his fist to thread our fingers and calm him.

“Is Hana your sister? Did you find her? Where is she now?”

The muscles in his jaw ticked as I realised I’d done it again. I’d asked him questions he couldn’t answer, making him beyond irritable. I quickly changed course.

“Do you sleep down here?”

“When I sleep at all,” he answered, dropping our hands and marching over to the bedding on the floor.

“Why?” I asked softly as he fell to his knees and pulled out a loose stone from the wall.