Page 79 of Broken Beauty

Not a surprise. Her dad is a jackass and he only cares about himself. I will admit that he was very loyal and very in love with his wife but after she died, a part of him did too.

I think he forgot that he still has a daughter.

“You shouldn't expect anything from that prick.”

“Just because you don't like him doesn't mean I can't stop loving him.” Ariella looks up at me and she gives me a disappointed look.

“Yea, but just because you love him, doesn't mean you can protect him. He is a prick for not saying happy birthday to his only daughter. He barely even fucking texts you Ariella,” I say. A little too harshly maybe. “If I had a daughter, I would make sure to text her every day to make sure she is okay. I would text her to tell her to have an amazing day and to tell her how beautiful she is because my daughter will be the most beautiful girl in the world right behind her mother. I will make sure to tell my daughter how amazing she will do in school that day or if anyone fucks with her, I'll personally make that little shit's life hell. A father can send a text saying “happy birthday', Ariella.”

It's true.

If I had a daughter, I would cherish the fuck out of that girl and make sure she knows how special and worthy she is. I would make sure that she knows she is loved.

And for her birthday, I wouldn't just send her a text.

I would send her pink roses, because only her mother gets red roses from me. I wouldn't just buy a dozen; I would buy hundreds.

Then I would personally write her a note telling her how much she is loved.

It's not hard to send a fucking text and Cal is a prick for that.

“You want a daughter?” Ariella asks, after a little while.

“Yea. I don't want a son.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm a fuck up Ariella. I don't deserve to be in this world sometimes.”

Ariella removes her head from my chest and I look down at her.

Her eyes are filled with concern and sadness. I know that if she were to see what I do with the mirror in my bathroom she would run away and probably have nightmares about me.

“If I were to ever get pregnant with your kid, I would want a boy. I would be the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like you as a kid. You are so easy to love Ash and you don't even know it.” I look at her, all over her face and I can't help but feel in love. She doesn't know this but there is no way I can just stop loving her. I've been in love with her since last summer. I press a kiss to her forehead and make her rest her head against my chest again. “Did I make you mad earlier?”

What Ariella said about her mom made me think of mine. The way Ariella admires her mom makes me jealous of her and the relationship she had with her mom. And the way her mom just died breaks my heart because how could someone take away something so beautiful and meaningful to Ariella?

I wish I had Ariella's relationship with her mother instead of the fucked-up relationship I had with mine that is now tainted with the last memory I have of her.

“No, you just made me remember.”

“Remember what?”

“My mother.”

“You never talk about her.”

“I don't want to talk about her because whenever you are around it's the only time my head isn't filled with her. You make everything quiet.”

“Is it quiet right now?”

I wait for a minute to really give myself a moment to think.

It's quiet.

I don't hear the screaming, the yelling, the sound of slapping, or the sound of a cigarettes burning into my skin or glass breaking.

I don't hear the sound of moans or the murmured voices.