Page 68 of Before You (Reckless Love #2)

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

JJ

“I THINK THIS is the last of it,” Henry says, setting a box down in my new room where Mirabelle and I have been unpacking. I look around at the white walls, the perfect representation of the fresh start I have here.

“Thank you,” I say, and he offers me a nod in acknowledgement. He’s always been a man of few words, but things between Henry and me need time to get back to normal. He doesn’t trust me anymore, and I can’t say I blame him. I successfully hid a drug addiction from everyone for an entire year.

When they visited me at rehab, I was honest with them about the circumstances surrounding the injury to my knee after my therapist suggested I tell Mirabelle, because the thing about secrets is they only have power over you if you let them.

Mira took it on the chin, and thankfully we’ve been able to start moving forward from the secrets I kept, but I know it’s not forgotten.

All I can do is be patient and continue working the program while I try to earn their trust back.

Mirabelle moves to stand up, and Henry offers his hand to help her, a gentle smile directed her way. She glances at me, raising her eyebrows. “I’ll be back in a minute, you okay here?” she asks, and I know she’s hovering because they don’t trust me to be by myself. Again, I really can’t blame them.

“Yep,” I say, pushing a smile on my face to help put her at ease. I’m capable of making it a couple of minutes by myself. Besides, I have plenty of unpacking to do, and I’d prefer to fold my underwear without Mirabelle watching.

It’s bad enough Henry packed everything up, but now that everyone knows about my addiction, I have a feeling any privacy will be nonexistent for a while.

It doesn’t matter that prior to the accident, I had already made it seventy-two days clean.

I hit a hundred days clean last week, but in their minds, I’m not.

I’m certain Henry volunteered for the job of going through my things so he could ensure I didn’t have drugs stashed anywhere, but I’m taking his lack of silence as confirmation he didn’t find anything.

Asher tore my room apart after the last time I took pills, not trusting I didn’t have anything else stashed away.

He was a much better friend than I deserved.

I shake my head, pushing the thought away by focusing on counting to ten while taking deep breaths to clear my mind. At least Henry meticulously folded everything so all I have to do is put it away.

Mirabelle laughs loud enough for me to hear her, and the pure joy in it is enough to make me smile. “No!” she shrieks, laughter continuing to fill the quiet air. “Henry, don’t you dare tickle me.”

I don’t hear Henry’s response, but I’m honestly not sure if I want to hear what he says, and I distract myself by texting Marley. At least there’s no more shrieking.

Do you want to come over?

Marley: I think you forgot something

What?

Marley: Check the front door

I step out of my room, instantly blinded by the sight of Henry making out with my sister as she sits on the kitchen counter, and it explains why they got quiet. I shudder, shielding my eyes as I plan my route to the front door without interrupting them.

Under normal circumstances, I’d totally be making fun of them, but considering they’ve temporarily relocated here for the remainder of the semester, I’m going to do my best not to kill their vibes. My line will be drawn at seeing them naked.

I quietly flip the lock, but they’re so lost in their own world, neither of them hears the creak of the front door opening. Marley stands on the other side, holding a bag of takeout with a heart stopping smile on her face.

We made plans for a movie night. Oh shit, I definitely forgot.

I shift, opening the door further, and Marley’s head tilts, clearly seeing Henry and Mirabelle.

“Are they really making out in the kitchen?” she asks, and I chuckle, pressing my finger to my lips to tell her to be quiet.

I pull her in, shutting the door as silently as I can, covering Marley’s eyes to poison my own as I guide her to my room.

The problem arises when I miss the handle of a pan sticking out of a box, and Marley’s foot catches it, causing Henry and Mirabelle to jump apart. Marley jumps half out of her skin, and I groan, as Mirabelle yelps.

Mira’s entire face is flaming red when she turns toward us. “Holy shit, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Sorry, you seemed really into it. I didn’t think it was important to interrupt since you both still had on all your clothes.”

Henry scoffs, turning away, and I bite back my laugh, understanding exactly why he’s not facing us, but I’d prefer not to poke the bear more than I already have.

“The kitchen? Really?” Marley asks, and Mirabelle sputters, trying to fix her hair. God, they work fast.

“Next time, say something.”

“So just to be clear, you’re giving me permission to interrupt you and your fiancé?” I ask, wanting to make sure I’m not misunderstanding anything.

“JJ,” Henry’s deep voice rumbles in warning, and I put my hands up in defense.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to trip into the box,” Marley interjects before I can make a dumb choice to poke the bear. “But, um, we’re just going to be in his room, so I guess feel free to carry on?” This time, she pulls me along, saving my ass entirely. I’m so glad Marley remembered our plans.

I shut my door behind us, leaning against it as Marley takes a seat on my bed, setting the bag of food down.

She fixes her blue gaze on me, looking at me in a way to make me feel like I’m the only thing in the world that matters.

“Hi, sweetheart,” I murmur, stepping forward until I’m able to hold her face in my hands, just wanting to look at her.

“I love you,” she says, and I can’t help the way my heart flutters in my chest. Goddamn, I’m a sucker for this girl.

“Not as much as I love you. I’m sorry I forgot we were going to have a movie night, I got sidetracked with unpacking,” I explain, and Marley smiles up at me.

“It’s okay. I’m here to remember the things you forget.”

I sit down next to her as she opens the bag of takeout, and the smell of burgers and fries fills the air, making my stomach grumble.

“You’re here for more than that,” I say, leaning forward to press a short kiss to her lips. “You brought burgers?”

“From your favorite place. I’m pretty sure we’ve established I can’t cook, but I also dropped a burger off for Eddie. He told me I’m his new favorite employee,” Marley says, causing both of us to laugh. She makes it so easy to be happy.

“Sounds like Eddie, but I can’t blame him because without a doubt, you are my favorite person in the whole world.”

The food doesn’t last long, and thankfully, Marley decides to take pity on me by forgoing any more unpacking to let me hold her as we stream a movie on my laptop.

I’m convinced there isn’t a better feeling than this.

She’s tracing small patterns on my hand, and just being in the same room with her has me relaxed enough I could probably fall asleep.

But then it hits me out of nowhere the last time I saw this movie, it was with Asher, and a fresh wave of sorrow washes over me. Every single part of my body is telling me to run away, but I press my nose into Marley’s hair, inhaling the familiar scent to focus on her instead.

Running away doesn’t solve anything.

“Are you okay, or is there a reason you’re smelling my hair?” she asks, and I hesitate. Marley twists in my arms, turning to look at me. “JJ?”

“I miss Asher.”

“I know. I miss him too,” Marley says, and I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling right now, because I don’t know how to put it into words.

“I know he’s gone, and it’s good to talk about him to focus on the good memories instead of the last ones, but it’s the reminders when I’m least expecting them that hurt the most,” I say, running my fingers through the ends of her hair.

It’s starting to get longer again. A lump grows in my throat as Marley watches me, giving me her sole focus.

“Did I tell you the last thing he said?”

“No,” she says, her eyes widened in curiosity.

“I asked him what I was going to do if Bailey wasn’t coming back, and Ash turned to look at me and said, ‘You live.’ He never even saw the car coming, but I don’t know .

. . it makes me feel a little better to remind myself, even if it’s not what he meant in the moment.

I don’t want to take any of my days for granted, but I also want to try to be happy so when I see Asher again, I can tell him everything. ”

“Even if it’s not what he meant, I think Asher would tell you the same thing if you could talk to him now.” Marley’s eyes well up with tears, and she smiles. “He’d be really proud of you, amore mio. ”

“You think?” I ask, my voice cracking, and she nods.

“I do.”

I brush a lock of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Thank you.”

“Are you doing okay otherwise?” Marley asks, chewing her bottom lip as she waits for my answer.

“I am,” I say, and I’m not even lying when I say it.

It’s better to tell the truth— even if it’s hard —than to lie because lies are what led to relapsing.

Sephine and I have talked about this in great detail, and so has my therapist. I can only control how I act, not how others react.

“It’s nice having Mirabelle and Henry here, and I’m meeting with my therapist tomorrow, so I can talk through everything else then. ”

“I’m really happy for you.”

“Are you still feeling good about your dad’s decision to leave the company to your uncle?”

Her entire face lights up, and she’s positively radiant. “I’m feeling fantastical.”

I’m not sure why he changed his mind, and I’m not even sure Marley knows, but I’m so damn glad he did. “Sweetheart, is fantastical a real word?”

Marley smiles brighter, giggling. “Actually it is. Just like all of the possibilities I can now consider for my future.”

I love how excited she is. There’s a lightness to Marley that didn’t exist before, making it obvious how much happier she is now that she’s not being expected to take over the company.

My sweet girlfriend was willing to sacrifice her happiness to do what she thought would make her parents happy, but there ended up being a solution that made everyone happy.

“You know . . . I can say I am a little bummed about having to change my fantasy of seeing you in a sexy pantsuit, barking out orders at people, and then fucking you on your desk afterward,” I tease, enjoying the heat flaring in her eyes.

“JJ, stop,” she chides, shaking her head. “I might still end up taking over one day, but I have choices now.”

I raise my eyebrows at her since she didn’t turn me down.

“So does that mean I can still hold out for my fantasy?” Marley rolls her eyes but doesn’t respond and it’s probably better to let this go if I ever want it to happen.

However, I only want it to happen if Marley does.

“Have you decided what you’re going to switch your major to? ”

At this point, the movie has been long forgotten.

“I have.”

“Well, are you going to tell me?”

She laughs, her cheeks flushing a red hue. “I was planning on it, but now I feel like it needs to be a bigger deal, like a drum roll or something extravagant is needed.” I drum my hands lightly on her back, causing her smile to grow. “I’m going to apply to culinary school.”

My eyes bug because I definitely thought Marley would pick something related to music, but culinary school is .

. . an interesting choice. She’s so awful at cooking, but if this is what she wants to do, maybe we can take some classes together or something?

Shit, I need to say something. What do I say?

Marley tucks her face into my chest, her entire body dissolving into shaking laughter.

“I—you s-should see the look on y-your face,” Marley says, and I relax, realizing she’s fucking with me.

“JJ, I’m awful in the kitchen. If a culinary school ever let me in, it’d only be because I’m a Benson and I can afford to bribe my way in. ”

“You got me,” I say, laughing with her because I can only imagine what my face looked like. “What did you actually pick?”

“I picked music therapy,” she says, lifting her head to look at me again, and this is the answer I was anticipating the first time.

“Oh, thank god. I think it’s perfect for you.”

I’ve definitely said the right thing as her eyes sparkle. “Really? You think it’s a good idea? I’ve been playing more in front of Bria and Charlie, but I thought I could keep practicing in front of you to get better.”

“Just tell me when you want me to listen and I’ll make time.

I’ll support whatever major you decide to switch to as long as it makes you happy.

You don’t need me to tell you if it’s a good idea or not because we both know that you already knew it was if you picked i—” I can barely get the words out before Marley is kissing me.

“Je t’aime,” 31 Marley says after pulling away.

Hearing her speak French makes my heart race in my chest. “Tout ce qui s’est passé avant que tu n’entres dans ma vie me préparait à t’aimer, et j’ai hate de passer le reste de ma vie à essayer d’être digne de ton amour.” 32

Marley’s bright blue eyes have unshed tears in them as it’s her turn to hold my face in her hands. “Tu es déjà digne.” 33