Page 33 of Before You (Reckless Love #2)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Marley

MY SONGBOOK IS lying flat in front of me open to the song I’m working on as I strum the chords of my guitar a few times.

I’ve been stuck on it for the last hour after getting off the phone with Kaden, and all the phone call accomplished was making me miss my little brother, especially after seeing everyone else this weekend.

“I’ve tried to fight this feeling.

The one making my knees weak and my head spin.

I didn’t understand before.

But I understand now.

It’s only been you.

It’s only ever been you, even before you,” I sing softly, strumming the chords while following along with the scribbles and notes in my songbook, trying to find my footing.

“I think you’re the only one, the only one that’s ever seen me.

Now I’m here, singing a stupid song about stupid you and stupid me . . .” I trail off, dropping my guitar next to me as I flop backwards into the pillows of my bed. I groan, dragging my hands over my face as my door creaks open.

I jump half out of my skin, nearly slipping off the edge of the bed as I turn to see who’s there. I instantly smile at the sight of JJ, his massive frame filling the doorway, my heart skipping a beat as he fixes his smile on me. I knew he was coming over, but I must have lost track of time.

“Personally? Your song about stupid me and pretty you might be my new favorite, but I think I have a bone to pick with the writer who never locks her front door,” JJ says, crossing his arms over his chest as he raises an eyebrow.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I unlocked it specifically for you?” I ask, sitting up as JJ takes steps toward me to close the distance between us.

“No. I’m perfectly capable of standing out there by myself until you come let me in. You and Bria need to start locking your door.”

I stick my tongue out at him. “You’ll be happy to hear my dad has a locksmith coming by in the morning to install one with a five-minute auto lock timer, ergo, problem solved.”

“You could have led with that, sweetheart,” he says, taking a seat next to me, leaning in to brush his lips over my cheek, his stubble scratchy. “How was your night?”

“It was fun. My dad and Tessa made dinner, and then Bria got a text from Asher when her dad had her phone,” I say, a quiet laugh bubbling from me.

JJ laughs, shaking his head. “Of course he did. What did it say?” he asks, and I try not to get distracted by the bags under his eyes.

“Something along the lines of she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, but it’s pretty obvious he’s not the best at drunk texting,” I say, and JJ laughs, the sound a deep rumble from his chest.

“Sounds like something he would do. What did Bria say?”

I raise my eyebrows skeptically because JJ’s spent enough time with Bria to know exactly what she did next.

“Denied everything, of course.” I roll my eyes because she’s acting ridiculous, but after what our fathers put JJ through, I don’t blame her.

“How was your night? It sounded like you had fun.” I didn’t expect him to answer last night when I texted, but I wanted him to know I was thinking about him.

Charlie said he spent the night sleeping on the bathroom floor.

JJ smiles, but it looks forced. He reaches for my hand, and I’d be lying if I said anxiety wasn’t creeping in. “Honestly, I would rather have been here with you,” he says, a soft exhale escaping his lips. “I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“Are you okay?” I ask, wondering if there’s more he’s not saying.

His thumb swipes over the back of my hand, and he nods after a moment.

“Better now that I’m with you,” he says, and JJ lifts my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt you, but I couldn’t have my girl calling herself stupid in a song.

” JJ’s eyes twinkle, meeting mine through his dark lashes, and I feel a flush crawl up my neck.

My god, I’m not sure which wreaks more havoc on my heart—being called his girl or sweetheart—but either way, they do a number on me.

“It’s still a work in progress,” I say, willing myself to not hide this part of me from him.

JJ glances at the open songbook, and I reach for it before he can try.

I’ve written too many songs about him to have it sitting out.

I have no doubt if I asked him to leave it alone, he would in a heartbeat, but if I knew JJ had a notebook lying around with songs he’d written about me, I can admit it’d be tempting.

“Do you write a lot of songs about me?” he teases, and I roll my eyes, trying to feign nonchalance when my heart is actually galloping at the speed of a racehorse.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I say, getting up to move the guitar to its stand in the corner, setting the songbook on the shelf nearby.

My queen bed somehow looks small with JJ sitting on it, watching me with his dark hair waving messily in a way to make me want to tangle my fingers in them while I kiss him.

Will being with him ever stop feeling like a dream?

I have never wanted anyone the way I want JJ. He’s the only thing I’ve ever dared to let myself want. I love music, but it’ll only ever be a hobby. I can’t think of it as anything else, no matter how tempting it might be to let myself consider more.

I’m honestly not even sure I know who I am, but the way JJ makes me feel like it’s okay to color outside the lines to find out means more to me than he could ever know.

I love the way he’s my biggest cheerleader, and how he makes me feel like I’m the center of his universe. It’s an addicting feeling to be loved by JJ. I’m done worrying about how soon it is or what anyone else thinks because fuck them if they can’t understand the way I feel when I’m with him.

The most beautiful thing about JJ isn’t how physically attractive he is, but rather how big his heart is for the people lucky enough to be loved by him.

“Marley,” JJ says, and his throat bobs as he swallows, the energy in the room shifting.

“What?” I ask, my voice breathy. My fingers fidget with the bottom of my shorts, but I can’t look away from him.

“If you’re waiting for permission to kiss me, this is my explicit consent begging you to kiss me whenever you want.” JJ’s smile is lopsided and beautiful. “I’m yours, Mar. I always have been.”

The happiness he makes me feel is more than I could have hoped for.

He reaches out the instant I’m in front of him, tugging me closer, his hands sliding over my hips.

I straddle his strong thighs as I loop my arms around his neck, leaning in to press my lips against his.

JJ’s nose bumps against mine as he kisses me back, his fingers pressing into my lower back through my shirt.

I want to know what it feels like to have him touch me everywhere.

“I’m yours too,” I whisper against his lips. The audible hitch in his breath makes my heart sing, and I can’t believe what a fool I was for naively believing one day in France could ever be enough. It should terrify me how much I want JJ, but it doesn’t.

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” JJ says, tilting his head to kiss me again. His lips are soft as they move against mine, and it feels so damn right, my heart might explode.

My shirt rides up a little as I shift, wanting to be closer, and his touch is featherlight as his fingertips dance over my skin.

It makes every part of me yearn for more.

I part my lips, and JJ follows my lead, deepening the kiss.

His tongue tangles with mine, and I curl my fingers in the short strands on the back of his head.

More. Please, more.

I reach down to the hem of my shirt, my pulse racing, but before I can start to pull it off, JJ angles his head back. His eyes are hazy as they scan over my face before finding mine as he inhales a ragged breath. “Are you good?” JJ asks, his voice hoarse.

“I’m good. I was just . . . I was going to take my shirt off? Are you okay?”

“Definitely—nowhere else I’d rather be.”

It gives me the boost in confidence needed to pull my shirt off, acutely aware of the rise and fall of my chest from how hard I’m breathing.

His full lips part as he stares like he’s committing the sight of me wearing a sports bra to memory.

Slowly, JJ lifts his head to look at me, pure desire shining in his handsome features.

“You’re breathtaking,” JJ says, shaking his head, chuckling to himself. “If you only knew how many times I pictured this moment over the last two and a half years.”

“What did you picture?” I ask, my breath trembling as JJ’s fingers skate higher up my side.

“I’d rather show you.”

Yes, please .

I nod eagerly, and JJ rolls us to lie on top of me, bracing himself over me. His pelvis presses perfectly against me, and I can feel how hard he is.

His eyes are normally such a clear green, but right now, they’re a hazy moss. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them this color before. I cup his face, feeling the prickle of his stubble. “JJ,” I whisper, tracing the curves and edges of his face. I want to memorize every detail.

“Marley.”

I’m so irrevocably gone for this man.

I shift restlessly underneath the weight of his body, needing more friction, and JJ chuckles.

“I pictured kissing you here,” he says, leaning down to kiss the corner of my mouth.

“Here.” His mouth presses against the curve of my jaw and then where my pulse races.

I tip my head back into the comforter, my eyes tempted to flutter shut when JJ lights me on fire.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart.” I look at him, my head dizzy and he tilts his head to the side, resulting in my head nearly exploding when I realize he means for me to watch in my full-length mirror.

Holy shit.

“Keep going,” I say, locking eyes with him in the mirror.