Page 31 of Before You (Reckless Love #2)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Marley

I BARELY GOT any sleep last night. I spent the entire night replaying every look, touch, and word from JJ. The bags under my eyes show how exhausted I am, and it doesn’t matter how many cups of tea I drink, I’m exhausted.

He told me he loves me. Actually—not only that he loves me, but he’s in love with me.

The thought makes me giddy, but also sick to my stomach with nerves because . . . I love JJ too. How could I not?

I’ve never been one for sports, but at his game today, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. JJ was incredible, his reflexes like lightning. I could have sworn he looked right at us a few times, but with the distance and the helmets, it’s hard to be sure.

My mom and Tessa came with me and Bria, but my dad had to stop by the West Coast offices, and Grayson went with him.

They’re supposed to be back tonight, but once the moms learned JJ wanted to meet with me after the game, they were practically shoving me out the door.

I think it’s a safe bet JJ won them over.

The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering with excitement as I walk up to the ice cream shop we agreed to meet at. JJ’s sitting outside on a bench, fiddling with a small bouquet of daisies in his lap, and I melt like an ice cube in the Sahara, any nerves quickly disappearing.

He stands up, wiping his hands on his thighs as he smiles at me.

Everything standing in our way before seems to have failed to reduce the love I think we have for each other: time, distance, and even last names. None of it matters.

I can only hope love will be enough.

JJ leans down, brushing his lips over my cheek as he pulls me into a hug, and I’ve never felt more safe. “Hey,” he murmurs while I sink into his embrace.

“Hi,” I say, inhaling the smell of soap and citrus.

“These are for you,” he says, offering me the flowers after pulling away.

I wonder if he knows what his love language is, because I would have initially said words of affirmation, but now I want to say it’s acts of service.

“I love them, but you didn’t have to buy me another bouquet.

You already gave me flowers last night,” I say, holding them in one hand as he opens the door for us.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.”

He hovers next to me as we stand in line, looking at all the different flavors when I reach for his hand, hooking our pinkies together.

JJ looks down at me, a sweet smile curling his lips up, and I think I might go into cardiac arrest. His smile combined with sweet words is a lethal combination for my heart.

I can already hear the music in my head, perfectly emulating this moment.

“I feel like I should have brought you flowers. You were incredible today,” I admit, and his smile widens.

“Thank you, Mar. It means a lot coming from you, and even more you were able to make it not just to the game, but also here.”

My cheeks flush under the weight of his focus. “I wouldn’t have missed either,” I say, the conversation pausing as a scooper asks what flavors we want.

JJ’s already handing over his card before I can offer to pay, leading us back out to the bench he was on when I arrived.

“How did you sleep?” he asks, angling his body to face me, and I look down at the flowers in my lap, next to my cup of cookies and cream.

“Not the best,” I admit, and JJ’s arm rests on the back of the bench, his knuckles brushing against my shoulder. “I had a lot on my mind.” I take a bite of my ice cream, glancing at JJ who is only watching me with what I can describe as concern.

“Even after we spoke?” JJ asks, prodding gently for me to attempt untangling my thoughts.

The flowers in front of me suddenly become very interesting again.

I don’t know why this is hard for me to talk about.

It shouldn’t be. I think my feelings for JJ is the least complicated thing in my life and it’s still difficult to vocalize. “Marley?”

“I’m not good at talking about my feelings,” I say, my confidence waning as I struggle to find the right words to say.

Give me a piece of paper and I can write them into song lyrics, or a guitar and I’ll find the right chords to speak the unspoken.

Me trying to vocalize my feelings is a different thing entirely.

He smiles at me, and it feels exactly like the first day of spring after a long winter. “It’s okay.”

Maybe it doesn’t matter if I have the right words. Maybe it’s about trying to be vulnerable.

“I thought about you all the time after I left France. I went back and forth between regretting not giving you my full name or phone number, and being glad I didn’t.

” JJ flinches, and I shake my head, quickly elaborating.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to see you again, but everything about our time together was perfect.

I was afraid if I saw you again, it would somehow ruin it. ”

“And has seeing me again ruined it?”

“No,” I answer quickly, and JJ’s shoulders relax.

“JJ, you’re like a breath of fresh air, filling my lungs instead of suffocating them.

If anything, you’re better than I ever could have hoped for.

” I reach over to take his hand, trying to reassure him because I’m not sure I’m making any sense.

“It scares me how comfortable I am with you because I don’t let people in.

My entire life, I’ve seen and experienced first-hand how cruel people can be.

But you, JJ? You have made it so easy for me to be in love with you from the moment I met you.

I feel like my existence has been separated into two categories, and every single moment before you came into my life pales in comparison after meeting you. That’s what I thought about all night.”

It feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest, finally admitting my feelings for him.

“I-I . . .” JJ trails off, his eyes shining as he stares at me.

“You okay?” I ask, and this time, his smile is bright enough it could light up the darkest night.

He brushes his thumb over the back of my hand, the gentle gesture causing my body to react with a shiver. “My words are failing me right now,” JJ admits, his voice a quiet rumble.

“How about, I love you too?” I suggest, and he chuckles.

“I do— so much. ”

~

JJ and I sat at the ice cream shop as long as we could, but unfortunately, Bria could only stall for so long.

It worked out fine because JJ had plans with the team, and I’d rather not scare him off by subjecting him to my father’s line of questioning for the second night in a row.

Unfortunately, when JJ kissed me goodbye, one kiss turned into two, and then I lost track until Bria called to ask where I was.

I step out of my car with my flowers in hand at the same time my dad and Grayson climb out of theirs. If the tension I can clearly see in my father’s shoulders didn’t clue me in to something being wrong, the scowl on his face says everything.

My hand lingers on my car door as I strain to hear what they’re saying.

“I’m so sick of this shit, Gray. Do they really think because headquarters are in New York, they’ll get away with anything they want?” Dad asks, tugging a hand through his salt and pepper colored hair.

“I can draw up the paperwork tonight, but I can’t file it until we get back. I trust my associate, but I’d prefer to handle this myself,” Grayson says, and Dad shakes his head. I should interrupt, but I want to know more.

“No, you rarely take time off. I’m not having you do any more work than I already have by asking you to go with me today. It can wait until we’re back.”

What is going on?

Grayson scoffs, shutting his door. “Hayes, I’m volunteering. Tessa will understand, and I’m sure the girls are ready for us to give them a break. If you need it done tonight, I’ll get it done.” If my dad will listen to anyone, it’s Grayson.

“I can’t wait to fucking retire, but I hate this is Marley’s future. There’s no question she’ll thrive, but the fucking people. They make the job a thousand times harder than it needs to be,” Dad says, his shoulders drooping.

I know there’s nothing I can do to jump into the future, but I feel guilty I can’t take over the company yet. Dad’s given me everything and more, including supporting me when I told him I needed out of the city. It might not be my dream, but I want to do this for him.

“Have you thought about delegating more to Maddox? I’m sure he’d be happy to help more,” Grayson suggests, and Dad loosens his tie.

“No. His kids are young, and I can’t ask him to change his mind about taking on more until they’re in school. Maybe Dean had the right idea—getting out before he was in too deep.” Dad pauses and I can only imagine everything he’s leaving unsaid.

My uncles—Maddox and Dean—are half-brothers, and they’ve both worked for the family company at one point or another in their lives.

My Uncle Maddox is currently the Chief Operating Officer, working as my father’s right-hand man until he becomes mine, but both of his kids are still under the age of five.

I remember overhearing my parents talk about how Uncle Maddox told my dad he was afraid of missing out on time with his kids while they were young, and my dad promised him he wouldn’t have to.

My Uncle Dean was initially being groomed for the position prior to Uncle Maddox taking on the role when he abruptly quit to join the fire academy twenty years ago.

I’ve always envied my Uncle Dean for making a choice to defy his birthright as a Benson in the way I’m afraid to let myself dream about.

Sometimes, I think my father feels the same way.

“You could alwa—” Grayson starts to say before Dad levels him with a sharp look.

“No, and I don’t want Marley to know anything about this either. I’ll just plan on making more trips out here to help with the transition of the new head of this branch. At least there’s a bright side of getting to see my kid more.”

I hate seeing him like this, but what I hate even more is how he’s trying to shield me from it instead of letting me carry some of the load.

“It’s only a couple more years, right?” Dad asks, dragging his hands over his jaw.

Yeah, Dad. It’s only a couple more years.

I shut my car door loud enough for them to hear, plastering on a smile to pretend I didn’t hear everything they just said. Dad’s face lights up, but I see right through the exhaustion he’s trying to hide. “There’s my girl. How was the game?”

“It was super fun. JJ was a rockstar, but how was the visit to the branch today?” I ask, fishing a little to see if he’ll tell me.

Dad ruffles my hair. “It was fine, but why aren’t you inside? Did you go somewhere after the game?”

My cheeks flush because I’m an open book when it comes to JJ, and Grayson eyes me the same way Bria does. “You were with JJ, weren’t you?” he muses, and I can’t help smiling.

“We went to get some ice cream.” I steal a look at my dad to gauge what he’s thinking, but I can’t get a read on him. “What did you think of him?”

“He’s not good enough for you,” Dad answers, causing Grayson to snort.

“You never think anyone is good enough for me,” I counter as we start walking up the stairs.

“I liked him. I thought he held his own against the interrogation last night,” Grayson says, and I agree.

I was mortified when Dad asked what his parents do, but I can admit I should’ve asked JJ sooner.

I mean, I assumed his parents were wealthy based on his clothes and the second house in France, but I didn’t realize they were famous as well.

He told me Mirabelle was engaged to a football player, but I didn’t think much about it.

“Hayes, you have to admit this kid is better than the previous asshole.”

I nod quickly. “Exactly. JJ’s a good guy.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Dad says stubbornly, but I have no doubt in my mind JJ will be able to win him over. He’s a sucker when it comes to making me happy, and if JJ makes me happy— which he does —then I know Dad will learn to love him.

When we step into the apartment, Mom, Tessa, and Bria are sitting on the couch, staring at the door. “Finally! So?” Bria asks, nearly bouncing in her seat with anticipation.

“So, what?” I say, walking to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

“Oh, come on, we’ve been sitting here for over an hour waiting for you to get back to grill you on how it went with JJ,” Tessa says, patting the open spot on the couch next to her. Mom’s eyes are bright as she watches me, and it’s nice to have them rooting for him.

Dad groans, shrugging out of his blazer to sit on the other side of Mom. “I don’t want to hear about this.”

“Plug your ears then,” Tessa says, and Mom laughs.

“Okay, you two, play nice. Benson, just look at Marley. She’s practically glowing, and I want to hear what the young man did to make her so happy.

You heard him talk about her last night—it was so sweet.

I hope you haven’t forgotten what young love is like in your old age,” Mom teases, reaching for his hand.

Instead, he wraps his arm around her, pulling her into him.

He presses a kiss to her cheek, and I melt, watching them.

“I’m four months older than you. Watch who you’re calling old,” he grumbles, before sighing. “Go ahead, Mar, tell us what the boy did—keep in mind I can ruin his life in a couple of phone calls if he hurts you.”

I roll my eyes, acting as if this annoys me, but I love how happy my parents are together. They ground each other and balance out in the best way. Kind of like me and JJ.

A picture pops into my head of JJ and me in twenty years, sitting the same way my parents are after a long day of work, whispering secrets to each other in different languages.

The idea makes my smile wider as I enjoy torturing my father to the delight of everyone else with details of my time with JJ today.