Page 68 of Beautiful Trauma
“Then what did he mean?” he asked angrily.
“We can’t do this here, Henry,” I whispered.
“We shouldn’t be doingthisanywhere.” Henry’s voice registered his disgust, but I wasn’t letting him give up so easily.
“I’m going to send an email to Beatrice to let her know I’m leaving early to take care of important matters. I expect to see you at my condo within an hour so we can work this out, Henry,” I said firmly.
His brow shot up. “And if I don’t show?”
“There’s no place you can hide where I won’t find you.” My voice was low but firm, letting him know I wouldn’t budge. I closed the distance between us, relishing the way Henry’s body trembled from my proximity.
“You fight so dirty,” Henry whispered, lips trembling. “You know I can’t resist that voice.”
“I love you, Henry. I’ll fight any way it takes to keep you.” I took every ounce of restraint I had to prevent me from pulling him into my arms and kissing him. “One hour.”
Henry nodded, and I left before my control snapped.
I shot an email to Beatrice then packed my briefcase with my laptop and the files I’d been reviewing before my failed attempt at lunch. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I reached my condo. It was doubtful Henry had eaten either, so I ordered our favorite soups and paninis from Dante’s with a specified delivery time. Then I paced the floors of my condo, waiting for Henry to arrive. I should’ve told him the truth about what happened in Connecticut when we first started dating but reliving that time in my life wasn’t something I liked to do. For Henry, I’d bare my soul because he deserved to have the best, and I couldn’t give it to him without coming clean first.
It wasn’t long before I heard his key turning the deadbolt. I was relieved I didn’t have to track him down, but that died when I saw his expression. Dread? Resignation? Fear? He stood across the expanse of the living room, his body squared and coiled with tension. His fingertips twitched, reminding me of gunslingers facing off against each other at high noon. Was that what we would become? Instead of bullets, we’d shoot angry words at each other.Fuck no.
“I’m about to tell you something very personal and hurtful, and I’d prefer to do it while sitting next to you on the sofa instead of squaring off against you across a room.” Henry’s resolve wavered, and he met me halfway. We sat facing each other on the couch instead of sitting side by side. “I would also like to touch you while I talk. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” Henry said thickly.
I laced my fingers through his then leaned forward, touching my forehead to his. “Pres and I taught at the same small university in Connecticut alongside my former fiancé.” I paused to let that sink in. Henry tensed, but he didn’t say anything. After a few seconds of silence, he squeezed my fingers, encouraging me to continue.
“The three of us were best friends, and Pres was the one I turned to when I discovered Ben was having an affair with a teaching assistant. It wasn’t just any teaching assistant; it wasmyteaching assistant, Garrett.”
“Ezra, I’m so sorry.”
I nodded then blew out a shaky breath, wanting to get the truth all out in the open while I still had the nerve. “Ben knew how I felt about professors having sex with their students, and I thought he shared my same views. I learned how wrong I was when Garrett purposefully left his computer open at his desk, hoping I would see the email exchange between him and Ben who was using a personal email account I didn’t know about.”
“Oh no,” Henry said, scooting closer until his folded legs overlapped mine. “What did you do, Ezra?”
“I was too stunned to say anything to Garrett when he returned from lunch, but I went looking for Ben’s secret email account and evidence on his phone later that night while he slept. It wasn’t hard hacking the account since he used the same password for everything. What I found was…” I shook my head. More than a year later, the humiliation still stung me.
“You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want to, Ezra,” Henry rushed to say. “I understand why you were so reluctant to get involved with me. I’m so sorry they hurt you.” Henry tugged one of his hands free so he could caress my jaw. “I’d never betray you like he did.”
I nodded because I knew he wouldn’t. “There’s more you need to know so you can understand why Pres is so pissed at me right now.”
“He’s pissed because he wants what’s mine,” Henry said fiercely. I suspected he was right, but Pres hadn’t admitted it when I’d given him the chance.
“It doesn’t matter if he does,” I said, rubbing the back of my hand over his cheek. Henry practically purred when he leaned into my touch. “The things I found in Ben’s email account shocked me, Henry. Not only did I learn he was having an affair with Garrett, but I also found pictures of them together in the bed I shared with Ben. Garrett was trussed up on our bed with neck ties Ben bought me as gifts. Imagine the horror I felt knowing the tie I’d worn to work that day had been used to tie one of Garrett’s ankles to a bedpost.”
Henry gasped and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I don’t think I want to hear anymore.”
Brushing the tears away, I said, “I’m sorry, Henry, but I need you to hear the full story.”
“I can’t imagine it gets worse,” he countered.
“Much worse. Garrett wasn’t the only student Ben had cheated with or took pictures of, and I found email exchanges where Ben had suggested these men use sexual favors or send nude pictures of themselves for extra credit when their grades were failing.”
Henry gasped, and I knew he was recalling the teasing exchange we shared in my office before we started dating. “I didn’t really mean it.”
“I know you didn’t, Henry.” I leaned forward and kissed his trembling lips. “Even if Ben had been joking with the students, it wasn’t something I felt comfortable keeping from the university.”
“What happened?”