Page 31 of Beautiful Trauma

STUNNED.IT WAS THE ONLYway to describe the way I felt looking at the parking pass card in my hand.What had just happened?I replayed the last twenty minutes in my mind while simultaneously willing my dick to forget all about it. I had arrived early to thank Ezra for his recommendations because I felt truly strong, healthy, and independent for the first time. The only thing that would’ve made me happier was what happened between us once we were alone in his office. I hadn’t planned a big seduction; I’d simply wanted to eat a damn Twix bar and thank Ezra before class. Sure, I selfishly wanted to share a space with him for a few minutes, but I never dreamed it would involve my shorts around my knees and Ezra’s dick in my ass. My hole twitched at the reminder.

The sex wasn’t as surprising as what happened next. Chemistry had always raged between us like an inferno, so it almost felt inevitable it would happen again, no matter what either of us said. But the invite to Ezra’s home after class for dinner, talking, and more sex…Stunned.

I glanced down my body. Satisfied my dick was going to behave, I pulled my shirt back on then lifted my backpack off the floor and carefully tucked the parking garage pass in a slot inside it. The square of paper felt like the most precious gift anyone had ever given me, so roughly shoving it in my wallet or tossing it in the bottom of my bag to get crumpled felt wrong. Besides, Ezra would undoubtedly want it back and wouldn’t like for me to return it in poor condition. The idea of him handing the card to a man other than me had the same effect as dumping a bucket of ice-cold water over my head. The sensation was unwanted and uncomfortable but, in this case, probably for the best. I couldn’t afford to lose my head over Ezra, or I’d face a huge setback. I couldn’t assume he would want more than this night.

I inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly.I can do this.

I crossed to the mirror Ezra had used to check his appearance before leaving. My reflection showed a man who looked happy and a little dazed. My cheeks still held a hint of a flush, and my lips looked swollen and well-kissed. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but hiding in Ezra’s office all night wasn’t an option. Satisfied my reflection could pass for someone who was agitated from running late instead of recently fucked, I opened the door a crack and peeked outside. Luckily, no other stragglers were in the hallway about to bust me coming out of my professor’s office.

I walked quickly to the classroom and pulled open the door before I could talk myself out of it. Every head in the room turned in my direction because no one was ever late to Professor Meyer’s class. The subject was intriguing on its own, but throw in a sexy, charismatic instructor and you have yourself a full classroom. I was probably the only one who’d missed classes or arrived late.

Ezra cocked an eyebrow in mock irritation, and I started to squirm a bit at the back of the room. Everyone but my tormentor would’ve mistaken my fidgeting as nerves, but Ezra knew what he did to me. He was just a master at hiding it. “So nice of you to join us, Mr. Sullivan. Please find your seat.”

I smiled nervously and said, “So sorry, Professor Meyer. I had a bit of car trouble.” I averted my gaze and made my way to the table I shared with Drake, who looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

“As I was saying,” Ezra said, ignoring my apology and dismissing me altogether, “we’re going to begin our next unit and discuss our first field trip.” Soft murmurs erupted around the room, and Ezra coolly paused to let them pass before continuing. “Our next unit is Sexual Techniques and Behaviors. I would again like to stress that we are all adults in this classroom, and I expect you to act accordingly. I will not tolerate crude or disrespectful comments, nor will I permit shaming of any kind. You will discover many things in this world that don’t appeal to you, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t fascinate anyone else. Are we all in agreement?”

“Yes, sir,” we all said.

Ezra nodded and began his lecture. I was mesmerized by the confidence with which he spoke about sexuality, the ways he engaged with his students, and how comfortable they were speaking out. Growing up in a strict, religious home, we never discussed sex. If we pretended it didn’t exist, then we wouldn’t be tempted, right? So wrong. The subject was only ever mentioned in our church in the context of procreation or sin. That was it: you had sex to make babies, or it was a sin. Sex corrupted the soul and weakened the mind, according to Preacher Daily.

Once again, I remained quiet while most of the other students talked openly about the things they’d felt and experienced, but never in a crude, insensitive, or disrespectful way. Ezra’s eyes would land on me occasionally, but I never saw censure or disapproval that I hadn’t spoken out loud about my experiences or aired questions I had. I was more comfortable putting my personal feelings in my assignments rather than sharing them with people I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I’d ever overcome my hesitation to speak so openly about personal subjects, but time would tell. I wasn’t the only one who chose to observe more than participate, and it helped me not to feel isolated.

“This has been a wonderful discussion, but our time is almost up, and I know you’re dying to know more about your first field trip.” Ezra smiled when we all sat up straighter in our chairs. “Have any of you heard about the Museum of Sex in New York City?” He paused to see if anyone had, and when no one spoke up, he continued. “It’s a wonderful museum, and I highly suggest it to anyone traveling to the city. Luckily, the museum now has a traveling exhibit at select cities throughout the country. I’m friends with the director, and I’m excited to announce the museum is opening an exhibit in Cincinnati next weekend.”

Friends, huh? What kind of friends?

“It’s stirred up a big controversy locally, so I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it on the news. Deandra and her crew have been quietly setting up the exhibit, but word has leaked out, and church congregations are ready to protest with signs or pitchforks on opening night. My lucky students get a private tour of the museum before it opens to the public and get to avoid the fray.” Excitement rippled through the room, and Ezra soaked it all in. He looked mighty proud of himself, reminding me of our cat Jasper who wanted us to fuss and fawn every time she killed a mouse and dragged it home.

“Do we get extra credit if we counter protest?” Drake asked beside me.

Ezra tipped his head to the side while he pondered it. “Let me get back to you on that, Mr. Duggins. I would need to set rules and get signed agreements from anyone participating so neither I nor the university are held accountable if any of you knuckleheads get arrested.” Laughter spread around the room.

“Fair enough, Professor M,” Drake said.Professor M?Back off, gingersnap.

Ezra glanced at his watch. “That’s it for tonight, guys and gals. I’ll see you on Wednesday night.”

I stood up, shouldered my bag, and made my way out of class. I hadn’t bonded with any of my classmates, so there was no need to put my head down to avoid eye contact and conversation. I was just proud that I had by some miracle made it through class without getting a boner. Discussing sexual techniques and behaviors while still wearing Ezra’s scent was a dangerous game, but I had set my personal feelings aside and focused on the lecture.

“Sullivan,” Drake yelled from behind me.

Damn it.Why tonight of all nights? I slowly turned around and forced a friendly smile. “Yeah?”

Smiling ruefully, Drake held up my textbook. “Forgot something, buddy.”

I shook my head and walked over to him. “I can be such an airhead sometimes.”

“Nah,” Drake said, shaking his head. “You look like there’s always someplace you need to be.”

“Well, it’s true. Gym, work, school, work, sleep. Repeat.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed. “You heading to work now?”

“Not tonight.”

His amber eyes lit with hopefulness, and I regretted being honest. “You wanna hang?”

“Oh,” I said, hoping I sounded disappointed. “I can’t tonight; I have plans with a friend.” Ezra wasfriendly… Mostly. “Maybe some other night?”