Page 39 of Beautiful Trauma
“You make me feel wanted, cherished, and”—his voice cracked—“clean. When I got my diagnosis, my mom made me feel dirty and trashy, which made it easy for her to throw me to the curb. I found a new family at Ryan’s Place who accepted and loved me, but there was still something missing. Plenty of guys hit on me, but they bailed the second they learned about my HIV status, but you…” Henry’s words trailed off, and he smiled at the memory.
“You’d braced yourself for rejection, but I shocked you with a kiss.” I reenacted the hot, sweet kiss I’d given him nearly seven months ago. “Then I told you it was okay and assured you I was on PrEP.”
“You made it seem so normal, Ezra.”
“It’s your normal, Henry. You’re not dirty, and you’re sure as hell not trash.” I was both eager and dreading the day Henry trusted me enough to tell me about his past. I wanted to know all the pieces of him, but I knew with absolute certainty that the truth would enrage me.
“I’m hot trauma is what I am,” Henry countered, averting his gaze.
Cupping his chin, I raised it until his eyes met mine once more. “You’re beautiful trauma, baby. One day, this trauma will be in your rearview mirror, and all you’ll see ahead of you is a bright future.”One that probably didn’t include me.With that sobering thought, I turned off the rainfall showerhead and faucet so I didn’t overflow the bathtub and test out my backup systems. “I believe you said something about using my soap to mark you.”
Henry sighed then squirmed in my embrace. “That sounds wonderful, but I confess I like the kind of filthy you make me feel, Higgins.” His dick started to harden from the friction.
I pinched his ass cheek, making him yelp. “Cut that out before you make me hard again. It’s getting late, and you need to get some sleep.”
“Sleep?” Henry asked, rutting his dick against my lengthening one. “That’s the last thing on either of our minds. I know damn well you’re not worried about keeping up with me.” His eyes shimmered with a challenge.
“Okay, but don’t blame me when you’re exhausted, dragging around in the morning, and pissed off because I get to sleep in while you have to go to work.”
Henry narrowed his eyes. “I guess you better make it all worth it then.”
I answered his dare by washing his body from head to toe. I loved smelling my shampoo in his hair and knowing his skin held the scent of my soap. I tormented him by making him sit out of arm’s reach while I took my time gliding the soapy loofah sponge all over my body.
“Please, Ezra,” Henry said, pleading with both his eyes and words.
I drained the tub and dried us both off before leading him into my bedroom. Henry slid between the turned-down sheets like he belonged there, and I liked when his need for me surpassed his nervousness. I followed him onto the bed then rolled him onto his back, kissing him until his fingernails dug into my back. My feisty kitten needed to come again.
“Condom and lube,” Henry desperately said when I finally lifted my head.
I shook my head. “Your sexy ass has already seen enough action.” Henry let out a needy whimper that made me smile. “I’ll take care of you, baby.” I rolled onto my back and said, “Come up here and straddle my face. I want to suck your cock.” Henry’s eyes widened, but he climbed up and placed his knees on both sides of my head. “Grip the headboard and put your dick inside my mouth.”
“Ezra,” he whispered, sounding shocked by the suggestion.
“The idea of fucking my face thrills you, doesn’t it, baby?”
Henry nodded. “What about you? I can’t leave you hard.”
“Before you come, you’re going to turn around and suck my dick while I eat your ass and jerk you off.”
Clumsy and tentative at first, Henry fed his cock into my mouth. I loved watching his body flush with desire as he gained confidence and learned the beautiful things his body could do. I gripped his ass, encouraging him to let go, and Henry rewarded me with a pace that made his balls slap against my chin. I greedily lapped and sucked his cock until he suddenly pulled back.
“I’m going to come,” he panted. Henry’s flushed cock looked angry, and I knew he’d come all over my face if I ran my tongue over the sensitive spot just under his crown. I lifted my head to seek him out, but he shook his head and scooted back further. “That wasn’t the agreement,” Henry said haughtily. He repositioned his body so his head hovered over my cock.
I smacked his ass then gripped his hips, pulling his pert cheeks closer to my mouth. “You’re right. I did promise you a rim and a jack.”
Henry released a startled cry followed by a throaty moan when I circled my tongue over his crinkled pucker.
I firmly gripped the base of his cock then said, “Get to sucking, Henry, and I might even feed you dessert in bed.”
By the time both of us came again, Phillipe’s dessert was long forgotten. Instead, I fed Henry the dulce de leche trifle in bed the next morning between sips of coffee. I firmly believed meditation was the best way to start the morning, but Henry’s throaty purrs when he indecently licked the spoon could quickly become my favorite new rise-and-shine routine.
TUCKED IN THE CORNER OFDante’s Bistro, I reread the text exchange I’d had with Ezra while waiting for Geoff to arrive.
I’m stopping to get popcorn on the way home from dinner with my folks. Need anything else? Want something sweet to go with the salty?
I’d felt a tiny pang in the region of my heart when he’d told me over the phone about plans he’d made with his parents for dinner. Friday nights had belonged to us ever since we began dating, or whatever you called it, six weeks ago. We squeezed in a few stolen hours throughout the week and chatted every day, but Fridays were special. Maybe we never went out on an official date in public, but we either ordered in a nice dinner or cooked one together at Ezra’s place. There would be sex followed by popcorn and a movie then sometimes more sex. We often ended up soaking in his fancy tub before we climbed into bed where we would cuddle and talk for hours about anything on our minds.
Ezra did most of the talking, telling me about his childhood in Connecticut and all the places he’d seen around the world. The furthest I’d traveled from Ohio was Kentucky where I spent two weeks every summer at church camp, so I didn’t have much to contribute to those conversations. Ezra never made me feel inferior and was happy to hear about whatever experiences I’d had. Well, all except for learning I’d lost my virginity to Geoff during one of those church camps. He loved listening to my stories about working for Des. I couldn’t share specifics about cases, but I could tell him some of the more interesting ways clients paid him. He realized early on that I have a deep abiding love for Des that didn’t extend to romantic love.