Page 36 of Beautiful Trauma
My hands shook when I struck the match and held it to the wick. The moment felt huge, and I was so worried my bumbling would ruin it. Behind me, I heard Ezra opening drawers and taking out what we needed. He flipped off the bedroom light when he finished, casting the balcony in complete darkness except for flickering candlelight.
“What do those candles smell like to you?” Ezra huskily asked when he returned with lube in one hand and a condom in the other.
I sniffed the air, and at first, I only smelled the lingering trace of sulfur from the match, but then I picked out other scents. “Lemon and vanilla,” I replied. It felt familiar, but I didn’t immediately place where I remembered it from. “Oh, it reminds me of the candles my mom used to keep mosquitos away.”
Ezra chuckled warmly. “You’re thinking of citronella, but that’s not what I think of when I light them when I lounge out here naked at night.”
I swallowed hard. “What do they remind you of?”
“Who, not what.” Dropping the condom and lube on the table, Ezra pulled me to him. “The subtle lemon fragrance reminds me of you, Henry. I lie out here stroking my dick wishing you were with me.”
“Ezra,” I whispered.
“So, I no longer wish to see doubt or hesitation in your eyes when you look around my world and wonder if you belong here. I want you here, and that’s all that matters. That’s the only assurance I can give you right this minute. Understood?” I nodded as tears threatened. Of course, he saw through my fears and recognized them for what they were. “Now we can both live out our balcony fantasies.”
The kiss Ezra gave me was gentle, but I felt the power of his desire thrumming through his body, and mine answered in return. I reached for the hem of his tank top, even though I knew he preferred to be in control. I wasn’t pushing or testing him; I needed to be able to act on my impulses without second-guessing myself every time I turned around. I wanted to touch and feel his bare chest, so I went for it. Ezra squeezed my hip to encourage me then dropped his hands so I could lift the tank top over his head. I reached for my shirt next, needing to be skin-on-skin with him, but he stilled my hands.
“You don’t get to have all the fun.” Ezra brushed his lips against mine then removed my tank top, dropping it on the balcony floor next to his.
I moved into him with a confidence I’d never felt before, pressing my bare chest against his, whimpering when our heated flesh met. “Too long,” I told him, discounting the quick fuck we’d shared in his office. I’d gotten off with his cock in my ass and my dick in his fist, but I hadn’t been able to kiss and touch him freely.
“Much too long.” Ezra’s agreement ghosted over my lips before he devoured them.
Hands roamed everywhere, relearning contours and textures while his tongue boldly swept inside my mouth to explore me. I’d kissed other guys before, but it had never involved my entire body as it did with Ezra. I figured it was the difference between kissing a boy and a man. My whole being trembled and shook, and I greedily pressed my body tighter against his.
Ezra ripped his mouth off mine and stared down at me. Maybe it was a trick of the candlelight, but I swore I could see the stars reflecting in his dark eyes. “I wanted to go slow and not just shove you down and fuck you, but—” It wasn’t like him to sound and look uncertain, and I loved having a bit of power over him.
I brushed the back of my hand over his silk-covered erection then reached between our bodies and slowly untied the drawstring of his sleep pants. Ezra’s breath hissed, and his hands tightened on my hips. Feeling bold, I said, “I’m going to strip you down, then I’m going to straddle you on the chaise and ride your cock.”
“Henry, you completely unravel me.”
“It’s only fair since you do the same to me,” I said, leaning forward and nipping the flesh above his nipple.
I shoved his pants to the floor then quickly released my drawstring and pushed mine down my hips. Ezra’s mouth found mine again as he took the two steps backward needed to reach the chaise.
“Too bad you weren’t here on Independence Day. I would’ve loved watching the reflection of the fireworks on your skin as you moved over me.” I opened my mouth to tell him next year but stopped myself before I killed the mood.
“I guess I’ll just have to make you see fireworks behind your eyelids then,” I told him.
Shaking his head, Ezra lowered himself to the chaise then gripped his dick. I loved the candlelight flickering against his golden skin and nearly became transfixed when he started stroking up and down. This was how he looked when he jerked off thinking about me. It was heady, overwhelming, and mouthwatering. “I’m not going to close my eyes, Henry, because I don’t want to miss a single expression crossing your face.”
I straddled his thighs and lowered my head for another devastating kiss that seemed to stretch on forever. I kept inching my body closer and closer until no air was between us, and his dick was flush against mine. I gripped the back of the chaise over his head and began thrusting against him, aided by the pre-cum dripping from our cocks.
I caught Ezra’s sexy growls, and he collected my needy whimpers. It didn’t take me long to reach the verge of orgasm, so I stopped rutting against him and reached for the condom. I didn’t ask for permission or wait for his instructions; I tore the packet open with my teeth then removed the circle of latex.
“Roll it on me,” Ezra growled. “I need to be inside you.”
I might’ve teased him, but I was too desperate to have him again. I kissed him while clumsily rolling it down his hard length until it fit snuggly at the base of his cock. I pulled free of the kiss and reached for the lube.
“Stretch me open,” I said, matching his demand with one of my own.
Ezra was as gentle and considerate as he always was, even if his tight jaw and blown pupils demonstrated how far gone he was. I was his drug, and he needed a fix.
Knowing I was ready, I pulled free from Ezra’s fingers and moved to align his dick against my prepared hole.
“Easy,” Ezra said softly. “There’s no rush this time.”
No boundaries either, which made me even more desperate to have him inside me. Ignoring his wishes, I pushed down hard, burying his dick deep inside my ass. I cried out from the pleasure and rightness of having Ezra where he belonged and knowing I put him there.