Page 21 of Beautiful Trauma
Seeing he wanted to speak to me privately, Jessie looked between us for a second before staring me in the eyes. “If I find out you’re the source of his pain; I’m going to tear you apart. Am I clear?”
“If I’m the cause of his pain, I’d deserve nothing less.”
Satisfied I meant it, Jessie exited the living room. I crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me. I was curious about Henry’s apartment but couldn’t tear my eyes away from him to glance around. I wanted to cross the room and take him into my arms, but I didn’t budge. I had no right to push him away one minute then gather him close the next. I was doing just what he’d called me out for the previous week.
“Did I do this?” I asked softly. “Should we call Jessie back in here?”
Henry stared at me for several heartbeats before he shook his head.
“No, I’m not the source of your obvious distress, or no, we shouldn’t call Jessie back in here?”
“No to both,” Henry said with a soft smile. “You’re not fully to blame anyway.”
“Can we talk?”
“Is this about missing class, Ezra?”
I pinned him with a disbelieving look. “You think I drive around to my students’ apartments when they miss school?”
“I know how important this class is to you, and my poor attendance reflects badly on you,” Henry said.
“I’m not here to discuss your absences, Henry.”
Henry tilted his head slightly then studied me. “Then why are you here?”
How did I answer him? Did I tell him I didn’t know, or did I tell him the truth? Maybe not knowing why I came was the truth. No, I could lie to myself all I wanted, but I couldn’t lie to him.
I crossed the room until I stood directly in front of him. Even though I wanted so badly to touch him, I kept my hands to my sides. “I couldn’t stay away.”
Henry: 3
Ezra: 0
ICOULDN’T STAY AWAY.EZRA’Swords should’ve soothed the turmoil inside me, but instead, they only churned it up more. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? Push. Pull. Push. Pull. I’d had enough of it.
“You couldn’t stay away?” I asked. “What the hell does that even mean, Ezra? You tell me you want me but nothing can happen between us. You want me to stay away from you, but when I do, you seek me out.”
Ezra ran a finger over his eyebrow. I’d seen the gesture before when someone was annoyed, but Ezra wasn’t giving off that kind of vibe. “I never said I wanted you to stay away from me, Henry.” His voice was calm and patient, reminding me of one of the Sunday school teachers I had as a kid.
“That’s right. You’re jaded, and I’m too good for you.” I didn’t bother to suppress my eye roll. Who the hell did this guy think he was anyway? “You implied I should flee for my safety before you corrupt me. I think the ship has already said.”
“You don’t believe me,” Ezra said, his lowered voice hinting of danger. “Is this your way of pushing me? First, you physically push me into the bathroom stall, and now, you’re mentally challenging me to prove whether I’m too jaded for you. Nothing good comes out of that, Henry. Neither for you nor I. Leave well enough alone before you get hurt.”Too late.
“You’re the one who showed up at my door, Ezra. What’s the matter? Horny? Are you about to reveal yourjadedside to me? Perhaps we should take this conversation to my bedroom then.”
Ezra closed the distance so fast I didn’t have time to react. He cupped my jaw firmly and held my head still, forcing me to look into his hot, dark eyes.Maybe he wasn’t as calm as his demeanor had led me to believe. “Do not presume to think you know me after one night in my bed, Henry,” Ezra growled. “I didn’t warn you away only to come here and fuck you a week later. I might not be the right man for you, but I’m not a cruel monster either.”
I jerked my chin free from his grip and took a step back. “Then why are you here, and don’t give me that lame shit about not being able to help yourself. I’ve never met anyone with as much self-control as you possess.” I ignored his derisive snort. “Tell me the truth or leave.”
“I was a hundred percent honest. I was worried about you, and my conscience wouldn’t allow me to ignore the gut feeling telling me you weren’t okay.” Somehow that hurt me more because it highlighted how much he cared about me as a person, not just as his student or another hole to plow. “I can see I was right to check on you. You look remarkably thinner than you did last week, and you scarcely had any extra weight you could afford to lose. The dark circles under your eyes broadcast your exhaustion. What’s going on, Henry? It’s obvious you’re not taking good care of yourself. When was the last time you slept or ate?”
“Fuck you. I don’t need a Professor Higgins in my life to rescue me.”
Ezra’s left eyebrow lifted dramatically. “You knowMy Fair Lady?”
“Archie loves classic movies, and it’s one of his favorites.”
“Archie?” The brow rose higher.