Page 38 of Beautiful Trauma
“Keep it up, and you’re going to get a firsthand lesson in spankings, Henry.”
The idea thrilled me to the core, and I suddenly wanted to be naughty—very, very naughty.
“GOD, THIS FEELS AMAZING,”HENRYmurmured, his head tilted back and eyes closed. Water from the rainfall showerhead I’d had installed over the large circular bathtub gently trickled over us while water from the faucet simultaneously filled the tub. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Unable to resist the smooth column of flesh Henry had exposed, I kissed a path from the base of his neck up to his ear. After nipping his lobe hard enough to make him gasp, I claimed his sweet mouth and kissed him until he melted against me like cotton candy.
“The plumbers thought I was crazy when I showed them the picture I found in an interior design magazine. They came up with so many reasons why it wouldn’t work, but they couldn’t overcome the one that said it would.”
Henry chuckled. “Your will to see it happen?”
“Exactly,” I said, capturing his lips in a quick, soft kiss.
“I can’t believe I missed this the last time I was here. I just thought the double doors led to a walk-in closet.”
“That was the original plan, but I paid extra to customize this space.” It wasn’t cheap either. I’d had the space tiled from floor to ceiling, and the homeowner’s association insisted I install extra drains in case the built-in overflow on the bathtub failed. Then there was the cost of creating a walk-in closet space where none had existed before, which cut into the guest bedroom I used as a home office. For the first time since I moved in, I felt my extravagant decisions paid off.
Henry lifted his head. “Why would you spend your own money to upgrade an apartment?”
“I don’t rent the space; I own it. This is a condo, not an apartment.”
“Oh,” Henry said sheepishly. “I guess I’m not familiar with condos. I see a high-rise building and assume they’re apartments.”
“I can explain how condominiums vary from apartments, or I can tell you how much I’m enjoying using the tub for the first time.”
Henry’s eyes widened then narrowed. “Seriously?”
I grinned at the suspicious tone in his voice. “Seriously. Why do you have a hard time believing it?”
Henry’s body stiffened against mine. “Ezra, your condo is a total fuck pad. This bathtub isn’t about getting clean; it’s for pretending you’re kissing and fucking in the rain or a waterfall on a tropical island. Why would I believe this is the maiden voyage?” His body and tone of voice were tense, and I hoped the truth would ease his worry.
“How many men do you think I’ve brought to my home?” I asked. Henry scowled and shifted to put distance between us, but I tightened my arms around his lower back, keeping him tight against me.Where he belonged. “Would it make you feel better or worse to know the truth? Those inner demons you mentioned earlier are whispering ugly things in your head, right?” Henry released a shaky breath and nodded. “One man, Henry. You are the only man I’ve brought into my home, shared a bed with, and introduced to my bathtub. If my home is a fuck pad, then it was created just for you.”
Henry’s mouth fell open in a cartoonish way, and I would’ve laughed if the conversation wasn’t so serious. “How could that be?” he whispered.
“I’m not saying you’re the only person I’ve had sex with since I moved here last year, Henry. What I’m trying to say is you’re the only one I wanted to bring home with me. You’re the only one I wanted to see lying between my sheets or sitting at my barstool while I cooked breakfast. You’re the only one I wanted to hold in my arms in this over-the-top bathtub. You’re the only one who occupies my thoughts and dreams.”
“Why me?” Henry wasn’t fishing for compliments; he honestly couldn’t understand his appeal to me. “Never mind,” he said suddenly. “Let’s not ruin a beautiful—”
I silenced him with a kiss while gathering my thoughts so I could convey them in a way that didn’t paint me as some pervert or describe him as some weakling that needed me to take care of him. Henry wasn’t weak, and there wasn’t anything perverted about our relationship. When I finally pulled back, he was once again relaxed in my arms.
“Besides your physical beauty, there’s something about you that calls to me. You have this…innocent quality about you, but then I look into your eyes and see a man much wiser than his years. You find joy in the simplest things and take nothing for granted because you know how fragile and tenuous life is. I know that people have let you down.” Henry nodded. “I want to know more about that when you’re ready.” I smoothed my thumbs over his cheeks and loved the way he leaned into my touch. “You call to the parts of me that want to nurture and protect, and those feelings go much deeper for me than sexual desire alone. You’ve picked up on that already.”
“So, I’m kind of a sexy stray kitten to you?” Henry asked bemused.
I leaned forward and nipped his swollen bottom lip. “You have the sharp claws and feistiness of a kitten for sure. I don’t want to take care of you because you’re pitiful, broken, or weak; I want to cherish you because no one else has.” Tears welled in Henry’s eyes and spilled down his cheeks, and I kissed them away. “I want to hold you close and keep chasing away the sadness in your eyes until all I can see is confidence and pride.”
“Then what will you do with me once you’ve created the perfect gentleman, Professor Higgins?” Henry asked shyly.
“I can’t foretell the future, Henry, and I won’t give you promises I can’t keep. Besides, who’s to say you’ll still want me? There’s bound to be a young hunk who—”
Henry silenced me with a hard, quick kiss. “No one has ever made me feel like you do, Ezra. No one looks at me like you do either.”
“How’s that?” I asked. I wasn’t looking to stroke my ego; I needed to know the emotions I stirred inside him. I saw them rising to the surface, but Henry never voiced them because he probably worried he’d push me away. Most of all, I needed to know I wasn’t drifting alone in whatever it was developing between us. There was no denying it was stronger and more tangible than infatuation, but it was way too soon to call it love.
Henry’s lips trembled when he tried to speak, then a soft, frustrated sigh escaped him. “It’s hard to find the right words.”
“Then use honest ones.”