Page 34 of Beautiful Trauma
Henry smirked. “Give me your rules and lay everything out on the table for me, Ezra.”
I’d rather lay him out on the table, but he was right. I told him we needed to talk, and it’s what we would do. “No one at the school can know about us.”
Henry nodded. “That goes without saying.”
“Nothing goes without saying, Henry. Assumptions kill dreams and ruin lives.” I sounded more forceful and grimmer than I’d planned. I cleared my throat. “I haven’t done this in a while.”
“What exactly isthis?” Henry asked, gesturing between us.
“I don’t know exactly whatthisis, but I know I want you, and I don’t want anyone else to have you as long as we’re seeing one another. I can try to deny that I don’t want to know everything about you, but it would be a lie. You fascinate me, Henry.”
Henry snorted. “I’m not a player, Ezra. I know you think there’s a line of guys wanting a crack at my ass, but it’s not true. I only want you.” He tilted his head to the side. “I want the same commitment from you. As long asthisis going on, there can’t be any other guys for you either.”
“Agreed,” I said quickly. “Honesty is a must. I will try to open up more and share more of myself too. I don’t want this to be a one-sided thing where you take all the risks.” The more I talked the more I realized our thing was starting to sound more like dating. “If ever I—this—becomes too much for you, I want you to tell me. You don’t owe me anything. I want you here because it’s where you want to be.”
Henry nodded. “Same. I want you to tell me if I no longer do it for you. I don’t want pity fucks because you’re afraid of breaking poor Henry’s heart.”
The idea of hurting Henry in any way turned the food to lead in my stomach. It felt like my last bite was stuck in my throat, and I had to swallow hard and take a sip of water before I could speak again. How could I tell him he should trust me with his body but not his heart? “I promise, Henry.”
Henry studied my face for a few seconds before he said, “I guess that settles it then. Now, let’s eat dinner so we can get to the best part of the night.”
“Phillipe’s dessert?”
“As wonderful as I bet it is, I picked out the spot where I want you to fuck me next.”
Grateful I hadn’t taken a bite, I asked, “Is that so?”Imp.
Henry waggled his brows. “The balcony. I wondered what it would be like the last time I was here, but it was too cold for outdoor sex in December.”
“Where’s your sense of adventure?” I teased.
“Tucked inside my warm body where my dick would try to hide.” Henry’s mock shiver made me laugh hard.
Everything about him was more delicious than the gourmet dinner we were suddenly ignoring. The only thing keeping me from dragging him out onto the balcony right then was knowing he needed to eat.
“Food then fuck,” I said, pointing at his plate with my fork.
“Yes, Professor Higgins,” Henry said demurely, forking a bite of tenderloin while batting his eyelashes playfully.
A familiar thought bounced around in my brain. How had I ever thought I could resist him?
I’D TALKED A BIG GAME, but I became more nervous as dinner wound down. It wasn’t because I’d changed my mind about Ezra fucking me on the balcony; I wanted that more than anything. I just knew this time together would be different. I wasn’t in his home on the pretense of having a one-night stand, and this wasn’t a quick, unplanned fumble in his office. When Ezra slid deep inside me, he would do so knowing I belonged only to him for as long as he wanted me. I would take him inside my body knowing the same. Those thoughts made my heart race with excitement. Then doubt crept in. How long could he possibly want me? Looking around his luxurious apartment, I had to wonder how long it would take for him to realize I didn’t belong in his world, not even as his secret lover.
Ezra had mentioned the possibility of me wanting to leave the relationship first, and I had nearly laughed out loud. I might not have as much world experience as him, but I already knew I’d never find anyone who stirred me deeper—physically and emotionally—than Ezra did. He would be the best I ever had, and I was already worried about losing it—him—before we truly began.
“Stop it, Henry.” Ezra’s deep voice pulled my attention to him. A smile played at his lips, and the mix of humor and lust in his gaze made an intoxicating combination.
“Stop what?” I asked, trying to play it cool.
“I’m not exactly sure what’s worrying you, but I can tell something has interrupted your joy of anticipation.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
Ezra tilted his head slightly. “Which part? The one where I can tell you’re anxious or that you were anticipating me fucking you out on the balcony. Your knee is bouncing, and you keep nibbling on your bottom lip, which are classic signs of anxiousness. As for the other, your desire for me is rolling off you like heatwaves from hot asphalt.” He straightened and leaned forward. “Tell me, Henry, will you want something to bite down on, or do you wish for my neighbors above, below, or beside us to hear your cries of pleasure carrying on the wind?”
“Not fair,” I said breathlessly, forgetting about anything except the glittering promise I saw in his dark gaze.
“Why? Because I distracted you from your worrisome thoughts? I’m not sorry for that, but I will apologize if something I said earlier has upset you.”