Page 89 of Atone

“It would make me feel better to know the truth.”

The corner of his mouth lifts. “I made the decision to pledge the House, Mila. And to continue my trials from a distance. No one forced my hand. There’s still a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Then tell me.” It comes out sharp.

Alex might think I haven’t earned those answers, but I deserve them.

This might just be sex—or a whim, as his father called it. But I have enough self-respect to demand transparency. I deserve to know who I’ve climbed into bed with.

My expression softens. “I’m not judging you, Alex.”

“You say that now.”

“I say that in all honesty. I just want to get to know you.”

Alex’s gaze drifts, and we both know it’s not that simple. “You want to know why I forgave them?”

“Yes.”

He flattens his palm on the table, quiet for a moment. “Because an institution is the sum of its parts. The House doesn’t make us;we make it. Every member who pledged before us. Every member who pledges now. We all find our way there for a reason, and that includes me. There are no innocents. No accidents. We all know what we’re signing up for.”

“So that’s it? You forgive them because you think you’re no better than they are?”

“I’m not.” His eyes land on mine. “Or do you want to see me like my sister does? A pawn in their game? A victim? Do you want to convince yourself I don’t bleed Sigma Sin just so you can feel better about what we’re doing?”

“I don’t need lies to make myself feel better aboutanything.” My eyes narrow. “I’m capable of protecting myself, even from you.”

Alex leans forward, brushing his fingers over the ridge of the knife holster at my thigh. “Clearly.”

He’s still never asked me about the knife, but that simple action makes it clear he knows beyond words why it’s important to me. How it makes me feel safe. In control.

While Alex protects himself with isolation, I prefer blades. Two very different defense mechanisms we use to keep others at a distance. Except Alex sees through mine.

I tug the hem of my skirt to hide the tip of the sheathed knife. “I’m under no illusions when it comes to you, Alex. I don’t care that you stayed with Sigma House. I’m just trying to understand it.”

“I stayed because that’s where I belong.”

With sinners. With men who do terrible things. Because he’s no better.

“Okay.” I swallow hard. “I accept that.”

At least it’s the truth. Alex is no prince or hero. That much, I accept.

Alex shakes his head, almost like my acceptance makes this worse. “You should walk away, Mila. Or at least try.”

“Like you’d let me?” I narrow my eyes.

The smirk that climbs up the corner of Alex’s mouth is downright deadly. He leans closer, brushing a finger up my bare leg. And even if it’s sweltering in this room and sweat trickles down the back of my neck, I shiver like I’m freezing.

“I wouldn’t.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “And you should be glad, my angel. Because I might be a bad man, but I’m yours.”

Mine.

Why does that sound so good?

“Good.” I bite the corner of my lip, trying to bury my smile.

Alex smirks in return. “Join me for dinner at my parents’ house this Sunday.”