Page 110 of Atone

“Because you’d rather believe the lies you’re telling yourself?” He turns off the faucet.

Grabbing a towel, he turns to face me, slowly drying the blade on the rag.

“You’re one to talk about lies. All you do is lie to people. Or worse, keep quiet. Why are you always hiding from the truth, Alex? What are you scared of?”

“You.” He doesn’t flinch.

At first, I think I must have heard him wrong.

“Me?”

“Mm-hmm.” Alex steps forward, his eyes distant even if he’s looking at me. “You are the only thing in the world that terrifies me, Mila Bianchi.”

“Why?” Maybe I shouldn’t ask because it means I’m inviting this conversation.

But it doesn’t make sense. I’m nothing compared to the mighty wrath of Sigma Sin. No one is scared of me.

“You make me unpredictable. Reckless.” Alex spins the knife in his hand. “Oregon was proof of that?—”

“I don’t want to talk about Oregon.”

“Too bad.” It’s harsh, and as much as I want to scream at him to stop, he takes another step, halting me. “You want the truth? When I was eighteen, I did something problematic for the House.”

“You killed someone else? I’m shocked.” I roll my eyes, and Alex’s narrow.

“Not just anyone. I killed a member.” His jaw is tight; his words clipped. “It was right before I was supposed to pledge.”

“So what? Marco was a member, and you just killed him. For having so many rules, you sure seem to break a lot of them.”

Alex’s entire body is tense. Irritation ripples in the air. I’m pushing him to the edge of his limits, but right now, I don’t care.

“It was different back then.” His tone is even, but it’s clear he’s fighting to keep it that way. “I wasn’t owed any favors, and my actions could have ruined my chances with the House. Worse, they could have ended with me six feet under.”

As angry as I am with Alex, the thought of him dead makes my throat tight. “So why did you do it?”

“Because that man hurt Patience.” There’s no remorse in his tone.

No apology. And considering what he said, I don’t blame him.

“Maybe he deserved it then.” I shrug.

“He deserved a lot of things I didn’t have the time to doto him.” Alex’s expression is deadly, and I shiver. “But it doesn’t matter what he deserved. He was a member of the House. They would have killed me if they found out, so my father helped me bury the evidence.”

“What does any of this have to do with Remi or Oregon?”

“Ian had a brother in Oregon.”

“Ian is the man you killed?”

Alex nods. “He was the new minister at my mother’s church. Mom and Patience were helping him get acquainted with Bristal.”

“And he…”

I don’t finish my thought, and I don’t have to. Alex’s eyes answer my question. Ian might have been a minister, but he was far from holy. He was after Patience.

It explains the strange look on her face when she stared at the cross at her parents’ house. How much do I really know about my best friend?

“Like I said, Ian’s brother was in Oregon,” Alex continues. “He knew Ian had moved to Bristal and that the Lancasters were helping him acclimate to the new town. His disappearance posed a problem. All ties led back to us. So before his brother could throw up any warnings, he needed to be taken care of.”