Page 11 of Atone

While most of my fellow students enrolled at Briar Academy to pledge Sigma House or get a more discreet version of an Ivy League education, I had my own reason for selecting this desolate campus. And it wasn’t to party or work my way through Sigma House members like I let everyone think.

I came here for Remi.

Closing my eyes, I can still smell the smoke and feel the lick of the flames eating the world around me. I can still hear her screams echoing in my nightmares. I can still feelthe hands that pulled me away when I tried to run into the fire and save her.

If only I had found her earlier.

If only I had been there to protect her from the man who cornered her in that carnival tent, she might still be alive.

But I didn’t, and now I’m here.

Remi was pulling away those few weeks before she died. She had started seeing someone in secret, and she didn’t want to talk about him until she got a better handle on their relationship. I was her best friend and knew very little about him. But I’ll never forget when I found him forcing himself on her in that tent. Or the Sigma House signet ring that flashed in the light of the fire as he ran away.

Before that night, I didn’t know Sigma House existed. And now that’s the only clue left.

I came to Briar Academy to find the man who killed my best friend. And when I do, I’ll make him pay for her death.

Frustration courses through me as I weave through the hallways, finding my way outside. Spring is on the brink of turning into summer, but there’s still a comforting chill that hangs in the air this early in the morning. I pull my sweater tight and head toward the Science Hall as a breeze tickles the back of my neck.

My phone pings with a text, and I pull it out to see Marco’s name on the screen. After spending time with Patience and Alex yesterday, I couldn’t bring myself to meet up with Marco like I said I was going to.

I’m over him, but like any raw wound, it’s still at risk of infection if not properly treated. And since he’s the one boyfriend I let past my walls since being at Briar, it’s better to keep my distance until I trust myself not to forgive him.

His fucking around on me should be enough of areason, but Marco was the first boyfriend in a long time who I thought was different. From that first time he walked up to me at a Sigma House party and complimented a presentation I did in class instead of how my breasts looked in my dress, I convinced myself he wanted more from me than sex.

One date turned into three, and when I put off being intimate to deepen our relationship, I thought he respected me enough to wait.

It wasn’t until I got a text message from an unknown phone number with a video of Marco getting a blow job by not one but two Sigma Sin groupies that I realized just how deeply I was lying to myself.

It shouldn’t have hurt my feelings. I know better than to let men get the upper hand on my heart like that. Still, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I wonder if anyone will ever see who I am underneath this perfectly polished mask.

My phone starts to ring, and Marco’s name is flashing on the screen. He’s persistent, thinking that if he charms me enough, he’ll convince me to take him back.

I silence the call and am tempted to ignore him entirely. But with summer getting closer and my excuses for spending time at Sigma House dwindling, I can’t burn that bridge if I want to sneak around this summer and get answers to what happened to Remi.

Mila

Sorry, I’m in the library. I’ll call you later.

Marco

You bailed last night. I miss you, baby.

I hate when he calls me baby. Or any nickname for thatmatter. It’s probably just so he won’t slip and call me the wrong name.

Mila

It was a long day, and I passed out early. How about tonight?

I only offer tonight, knowing he can’t. I overheard Declan and Kole talking about an initiation ceremony, which Marco will likely attend.

Marco

Can’t tonight. I’m busy with the guys. But we’re throwing a party this weekend, so you should come.

Mila

Perfect, I’ll be there.