Page 10 of Atone

After a little distance, I’m reminded it wasn’t all bad.

“Is the carnival better at night?” Patience asks.

“It’s different. Just don’t go in the haunted maze alone.” She can barely handle a scary movie, so I doubt a maze with jump scares would be a good idea. “You’ll see.”

“Okay, but I need to study tonight. Would tomorrow work?”

“Yeah. Marco wants to meet up andtalktonight anyway.” I throw up air quotes.

“So blow him off.”

I’m tempted. The last thing I’m in the mood for is a conversation with my cheating, lying asshole ex-boyfriend. But after he was especially difficult at the Sigma Sin party last night, we need to set some ground rules for our breakup.

“It’s fine.” I brush my ponytail off my shoulder. “He can talk, and I’ll listen. It’s not like we’re getting back together.”

“Be careful, Mila. You’ve forgiven him once before.”

“And I learned my lesson. I’ll be fine.”

My hand rests over the familiar bump at my thigh where the knife is strapped to my leg. I’ve dealt with worse men than Marco. I’m not letting him get to me.

My neck prickles, and I look over to see Alex watching me again. Except this time, his gaze is on my hand like he senses the dagger hidden underneath. Just because he doesn’t talk doesn’t mean he isn’t observing everything around him.

I pull my hand away, and his attention returns to his journal.

“Whatever you say.” Patience rolls her eyes, walking over to Alex with a book in her hand. “Dad asked me to bring you this.”

He doesn’t acknowledge it as she sets the book on his nightstand, replacing the one that was sitting there.

“I’ll try to come see you tomorrow after class. But if not, then the next day.” Her gaze flicks to his full tray of food. “I’ll bring you some better food, but you need to eat something in the meantime.”

He doesn’t acknowledge her or stop writing.

“Alex, please.”

She wraps her arms around her stomach. Her fingers rub over her elbow, which is covered by her long-sleeve shirt. At that small movement, Alex finally looks up at her, and even if he doesn’t say anything, he nods once.

“Thank you.” Patience clears her throat, avoiding my gaze when she turns to me. “Let’s get back to the dorm.”

Without waiting for me to respond, she turns to leave the room. Probably hoping I don’t notice how her voice wobbled at the end. Or how the sun revealed the glassy sheen coating her eyes.

I’m about to follow her when I pause at the end of Alex’s bed, surprised that he dares to meet my gaze a final time.

Green and gold rivers swim within his eyes. So many secrets that I don’t know if he can keep track of them. An ocean summoning me below the surface.

“Ketchup.” I tilt my chin to the untouched tray of food. “It makes everything edible.”

It’s a stupid thing to say, but it feels better than saying nothing at all. And I swear it’s not the shadows that shift his expression as he watches me turn to leave.

3

SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING

MILA

There’s onlyone more essay to turn in, and then I’ll be skating through the last few weeks of sophomore year. It should probably feel better than it does. All around me, students are itching for the start of summer. Excited and humming with our impending freedom.

But one more year checked off means I’m no closer to getting the answers I came to Briar Academy for, leaving me with an uneasy stirring in my gut.