Page 105 of Atone

“Okay.” Patience doesn’t argue with me, which only frustrates me more.

Ihatehim. I can’t love him.

“Either way, I’m here if you need me.”

“I appreciate it.” I try to force a smile, but it doesn’t reach my face. “But you shouldn’t be worrying about any of this right now. You’re supposed to be enjoying your summer away from school, from your family. Your brother.”

Now I finally understand why she needed it.

“I’m trying.” Her gaze moves out the window. “And speaking of that, I really do need to get to the airport. This was a quick trip back for dinner. I wasn’t expecting?—”

“Mass chaos between your best friend and brother?” I finish her sentence.

“Something like that.” Her eyebrows pull tight. “Alex said I could use his car to get you back here and that he’ll have one of his Sigma Sin minions pick him up later.”

“How kind of them.”

Patience rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right? Are you going to be okay?”

“Eventually. But don’t worry about it. Enjoy your time in LA.”

Patience looks torn about leaving me, so I give her a quick hug and climb out, not giving her another moment to second-guess herself. She switches cars and waits until I reach the dorm to pull away.

We’ve been friends long enough that I know I could have asked her to stay, and she would have.

Part of me wishes I had.

34

SEEING THE TRUTH

MILA

The silencein the dorms is haunting. The small number of students who stayed to study on campus thins over the weekend when they take trips out of town. And tonight, with how empty it is, there must be a party at Sigma House entertaining anyone left.

The lobby is silent, and the elevator ride is mind-numbingly quiet. I lean against the back wall and think about everything Patience said.

When I enrolled in Briar Academy to be closer to Sigma House, I hoped it would lead me to whoever was at the carnival the night Remi died. What I didn’t expect was that it would lead me to Alex.

My stomach swirls, and I flatten my palm against it.

Maybe I should have listened when he tried to explain what happened. If Alex was there that night—a fellow member of Sigma House—he probably knows who attacked Remi in the tent. But looking into his eyes, realizing the depths of his lies, I couldn’t stand thereanother second. Whether he was the one who hurt her or not, how am I supposed to forgive him? Much less, trust him?

My heart aches. And usually, when I feel like this, I’d run to Alex. So what do I do now that he’s the culprit?

He broke us.He lied.

And yet,I broke us.I said unforgivable things to him at his parents’ house.

I called him a monster. After telling him I accept him for all he is, I threw it in his face. Am I any better than he is?

The elevator slides to a stop, and a silly part of me expects to see Alex standing on the other side as the doors open. It would be like him to refuse me the space I asked for. To force me to fight through this like he fought through death.

But of course, he’s not there.

Lifting off the wall, I try not to let that bother me as I step out onto the empty floor. I try to ignore how much I miss him already. Until I turn the corner and see someone seated in the hallway outside my dorm room.

But it’s not Alex’s dark-blond hair, scarred arm, and haunted eyes staring back.