Page 111 of Atone

“So you were in Oregon to kill Ian’s brother?” I cross my arms over my chest. “If this is you trying to win points?—”

“His brother’s name was Torin Beech.” Alex cuts me off, and my blood runs cold as a memory hits.

“Come on, Remi, tell me something about him. Anything.”

Remi sighed, and I wasn’t sure why she was so hesitant when we told each other everything. Boys we liked. Lies we told.

But this particular guy she was keeping a secret, and I didn’t like that.

“Fine.” She tried to sound nonchalant. “His name is Torin. But that’s all you need to know.”

Torin.

Alex was in Oregon to kill the man who attacked Remi.

“That’s why you were at the carnival.”

Alex nods, taking a step closer. “Since I was the one who created the mess, my father felt it was only fitting that I be the one to deal with any loose ends. He disposed of Ian’s body, and he sent me to Oregon to handle Torin.”

“But you didn’t.” My mouth dries. “Not before he hurt Remi.”

“Correct.” He shakes his head. “I showed up early in the day and decided to wait until sunset. The Halloween costumes and fake blood would help cover it up. But then I got distracted.”

“By what?”

“By you.” He brushes the back of his knuckles over my cheek, and I realize how close we’re standing. “You were on the Ferris wheel with your friend when I first saw you. Smiling. Laughing. Taking a break between shows. There was so much light in your eyes I couldn’t help wondering how you were so good at hiding it.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything back then.”

“You were.” He shifts closer so our bodies are almost flush. “Whether you realized it or not. You were lost. Unfinished. You were like me.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

“In most ways, you’re right about that. But when you got off the Ferris wheel and Remi walked away, you let the smile fall, and I saw the hurt you hide when you think no one is looking. It’s so effortless for you to slip between those two sides of yourself. Not like it was for me back then.”

The air in the room thins with his confession.

“I let myself get distracted by you that night. I was just so damn curious how you did it,” Alex continues. “I watched you when I should have been watching him. I followed you, and I took my eyes off the task at hand. And it led us to that tent, where he was attacking your friend. So you’re right, Mila. It is my fault because I should have already finished Torin before he got the chance to do anything to her. But I didn’t.”

Tears sting my eyes, but they don’t fall. Like they’ve dried up.

“Then why didn’t you let me help her?”

“Help with what?” His head angles. “The curtains were already up in flames when I grabbed you. Your friend was already dead.”

“She was alive.”

“She wasn’t.”

“I heard her screaming!” I snap, and it’s so loud that the entire floor would hear us if it weren’t empty.

But I don’t care. I want to yell at the top of my lungs until this makes sense again.

“Remi wasn’t screaming.” Alex is so still, it’s eerie. “You heard people yelling around the fairgrounds, calling for help. You heard what you wanted to hear so you could tell yourself she was still alive. But Remi was gone.”

“Don’t say her name.”

Alex curls my hair behind my ear, and my voice turns to a whisper.