Page 87 of All I Have Left

Kaiden Krammer. You were released last Tuesday because of a plea bargain.

You gave them Shane. And maybe you did that because you knew you’d be in more trouble if you didn’t.

Or maybe, you were one of the good ones and in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I’ll never know. You’re nineteen years old and already have a felony on your record.

I haven’t seen you around town yet, but it might be because you moved away.

I can’t say I blame you on that one. Because I know, had Grayson ever seen you again, you wouldn’t have made it to twenty.

And you , Shane Larson. I hate you. I hate you so much it’s raw and consuming at times to the point I break out in a cold sweat.

I saw you three months ago. Grayson didn’t know I went, but I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me and I knew how.

I showed up at the prison with my very pregnant belly and not a stitch of makeup on.

I said to you, “I never have to hide my face again. I don’t wear makeup because I don’t have to hide bruises.

And this baby was conceived from love. Her daddy, my husband, he’s a man who would never lay a hand on me in anger.

” And then I left when tears fell down your cheeks.

I don’t know why you cried, maybe because you knew your forever changed that first time you hit me, and that you sealed your fate when you swung that bat.

I remember that day. When I saw his face again.

As I left the prison and the sunset faded into night on the drive home, I cried. For hours, reliving every painful memory I experienced at the hands of Shane Larson.

Grayson wasn’t pleased when he found out I went to see Shane alone. It actually caused an argument and the first heated words we had shared in our marriage.

It started the moment I walked through the door that night and he saw the tears. “I’m sorry,” I said, and then admitted as to where I had been.

His face morphed from concern to anger in a single breath. “I can’t fucking believe you did that,” he yelled, pacing the bedroom, his fists balled up. “Why? Why would you subject yourself to that and lie to me about it?”

I looked at him. I hadn’t always made the best decisions.

I stumbled my way through tragedy and had the scars to prove it.

“I had to. For me,” I snapped, trying to focus on him, my eyes puffy and dry from crying so much.

I touched my hands to my swollen stomach and sighed, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Not you, not us, but me . I needed the closure, for me .”

Those words shook him. I could see them hit him in the face and register deep inside.

They flickered like a flame behind his calloused expression.

He swallowed, came closer and kneeled at the edge of our bed.

His gentle hands wrapped around my waist, his lips pressed to my belly.

“I just wish you would have let me drive you or something. Evie, I was sick to my stomach not knowing where you were. ”

I ran my fingers through his hair and angled his face to mine. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t let me go. But I had to, Grayson.” A sob wretched through me, my body shook in his arms. “I had to show him that no matter what he did to us, we made it.”

Grayson’s eyes moved to mine, his hand on my belly, rubbing circles over our unborn daughter. “What did he say?”

Tears spilled down my cheeks. “He didn’t say a word. He looked at my face, my belly, and then he cried. And I walked away from him.”

Grayson breathed in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Getting mad.” His voice shook around the words, his eyes on my stomach. “You’re right. That’s something you needed to do for yourself.”

And the fact that he understood made me realize how much we’d grown together. With a breath, the memories fade, as do their faces and I’m safe, in the arms of my husband, a man who loves me, unconditionally.

As we watch Taliyah sleep, Grayson pulls me into his chest beside him, my head over his heart with Taliyah tucked into his other side. “I love you,” he whispers.

Turning, I stare up at him, watching his beautiful eyes landing on mine. “Thank you for giving me a beautiful start to forever.”

Sighing, he runs his hand through my hair, twirling a curl around his finger. “You deserve it.”

“No, we do.”

He smiles. “What happens next?”

“Not that,” I tease.

He snorts. “Another six weeks, I know.” Shifting beside me, he drags his tongue over his bottom lip, winking. “But I can’t wait to try for a boy.”

I laugh. “Of course you want a boy.”

His hand that’s wrapped around my shoulders squeezes me closer. “You promised me lots of babies so we have to keep trying.”

“Let’s get through the next six weeks and I promise you can knock me up right away.”

“Deal.”

With our daughter sleeping between us, I stare at my husband’s face.

I know I need to get some sleep, but I can’t help the overwhelming love radiating through me.

This guy who promised me forever, he gave me what I needed.

A little light, to grow, and become a woman who no longer feared the touch of a man.