Page 20 of All I Have Left

GRAYSON

T he afternoon sun reflects off the pool dancing against my sunglasses, the smells of fresh-cut grass overpowering the chlorinated air.

Tipping my head back, I look up at the cloudless summer sky. How can I make her see that she doesn’t love him? Or is it even my place to show her? Fuck yes, it’s my place, damn it. She needs to know.

She’s fooling herself if she thinks she’s in love with that guy. And then I can’t help but think if I never left, she wouldn’t feel the need to find comfort in this asshole.

Frankie keeps telling me that everything is going to work out and it will be all right, but everything isn’t okay.

Everything is wrong, very wrong. Grief swells up inside me with every breath.

I can feel my body being ripped apart, more than it already was.

There’s hardly any pieces left of me. I thought…

well, I thought she’d be the one to fix it.

She’s my world. The reason I fought it so hard to get out of there.

It’s always about her. Everything I did was to protect her and keep her safe, no matter the price I had to pay.

And now what? She’s pushing me away.

I hear a door open and close, the slap of bare feet against the patio and then a splash of water. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Frankie. She’s the only one who swims in this pool before July.

I try to pretend I’m sleeping so she won’t bother me, but after a minute of asking me questions and me not responding, she splashes me with water. “I’m talking to you, asshole.”

“And I’m trying to ignore you. Let me do that in peace.”

“Grayson—” Frankie sighs, resting her chin on the edge of the pool deck. I raise an eyebrow and she shakes her head. “You can’t blame yourself for her stupidity on this one, buddy.”

I shoot her a glare. I don’t like anyone criticizing Evie, even if it is the truth.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s the truth.

” Wading to the steps, she reaches for her towel, wrapping it around her body.

“I’m sorry that she’s with him, I really am.

If I could convince her otherwise, I would have done so already, but she won’t listen to me.

She’s hiding something about him. I have a feeling it’s pretty bad from what Ethan says, but she won’t say, and Ethan is protecting his sister. ”

I’m not stupid either. I know there’s more to it or else she wouldn’t have had that reaction to him knowing she had been with me. I just hope it’s not as bad as my mind plays it out to be.

“I just—” I run my fingers through my hair. “I don’t understand why she would turn to someone like him. How did she even meet him? Where were you on that one?” I press, seeming to want to blame anyone but myself.

Frankie has always been protective of Evie, as Ethan and I were. She always needed a little extra help most of the time.

Frankie lets out a sigh, water drops dripping from her nose.

Adjusting the towel around her, she levels me a glare.

“You piss me off sometimes. If you remember correctly, you left her, disappeared, and here we were, Kelly, Josh, Ethan, all of us had to pick up the pieces of that girl’s broken heart.

” I hate what she’s saying because it’s the truth.

“She was devastated when you left. I’m talking about, like not eating and spending two months in bed.

You broke that girl. So how dare you criticize us for her not falling to your feet the moment you’re back in town and making sure she was waiting for you! ”

I’m sure you can understand when I say everything she told me—okay, yelled—is the truth and something I needed to hear. Not like I wanted to, but I needed to hear it. “I’m sorry… it’s just… I can’t understand why you would let her be with him of all people.”

“As though I had a say, Grayson,” Frankie snaps, her expression disgusted.

“By the time I knew they were dating, she was wrapped up in the romance of the whole thing. And at first, she was happy and I wanted her to be happy. I could tell she wasn’t serious about him, but it was fun and new in the beginning.

After a few months, his true side began to show.

He tried to tell her who she could be friends with and all that.

I think now she’s just trying to get away from him, but I can’t be sure.

She won’t talk to me about it.” Frankie leans back in the chair she’s sitting in, crosses her legs and hands me one of two bottles of water she brought out with her towel. “Can I ask you something?”

“No.” I don’t like what she’s saying. I can’t fucking fathom why Evie would be with someone like him.

The girl I knew, she’d never stand for that bullshit.

When we were ten, I tried to get her to get a strawberry ice-cream cone and I’d get the chocolate.

In my mind, we’d share, right? No, fuck no.

Not Evie. She told me to fuck off and get my own strawberry and chocolate scoop.

My point? There is no compromising with her and if she doesn’t want to do something, she won’t.

Frankie rocks my shoulder with a shove. “Grayson.”

“Fine. What?”

“Why did you get out early?” she asks, watching my reaction.

I’m kinda glad I have sunglasses on. “Good behavior,” I grumble, toying with the bottle.

“That’s not why. It doesn’t work like that and I know it.” She’s right. It doesn’t. Her eyes fall to the back of my hand and the burns on them. “What’s that from?” She yanks my hand toward her and I drop the bottle I’m holding to the ground.

“It’s nothing. Let go.” I jerk my hand away to hide the scars. Definitely not a conversation I want to get into right now.

Frankie sighs in disapproval, frowning. “Judging by the many scars on your body, I would say whatever happened over there was intense but if you’re not ready, you’re not ready.” Gently, she rubs my back. “I think you should come with us tonight.”

“No way,” I growl. I want to see everyone, but I don’t want to see Shane and Evie together again. Ever.

“Come on. I know you’ve missed her, but let me remind you, that you left us too. We all missed you.”

Groaning, I lean down and reach for the bottle of water. Frankie knows I missed them too, but I’m not about to put myself in her way again. I can’t keep hurting her.

I go back inside the house and immediately head up to my room to avoid Josh and Ethan who are having an all-out Xbox war that I’m sure will end in bloodshed.

When my head finds my pillow, I can still smell her scent on my sheets.

I lie down and curl up to the pillow, wishing she was here with me.

In the past few years, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about the moment when I should have told her how I felt, told her that I loved her, promised her together forever like it should have been with us.

I’ve had so many chances and I let them all slip away.