Page 85 of All I Have Left

EVIE

C osta Rica is fucking hot. I’m not talking about the southern heat we get in Alabama where you think you’re drowning in your own sweat. I’m talking about being stuck in an oven on high with a wet blanket wrapped around you. That kind of miserable heat.

Grayson flops down beside me on the bed, naked after his shower. “It’s too hot for clothes, and sadly, too hot to fuck.”

I giggle, staring at the wedding ring on my hand. I’m married. Freaking married to the boy I’ve loved since I was four. How crazy is that?

I glance over at Grayson, lying at the mattress like he can’t bear to move. “Are you feeling okay?”

“No.” He looks over at me, dead serious and raises an eyebrow, as if I should know what he’s talking about. “I shouldn’t have ate those tacos. They gave me heart burn.”

I snort. “How are you supposed to put a baby in me if we can’t have sex?”

He motions me forward. “Crawl on top of me. I’ll stick it in and see what happens.”

I laugh. “Crawl on top of you? Sounds so romantic. ”

He turns his head, grinning, suggestively. He even bites his damn lip. “I can be romantic.”

“It’s our honeymoon.” I inch my hand toward him and trail my fingertips over his hip to his erection. He might be too hot, but his lower half has other ideas. “I expect romance and you knocking me up.”

His mouth makes contact my shoulder, biting carefully.

He rolls onto me, his lips touching mine.

Our eyes meet, my cheeks flushed, his too because like I said, it’s so hot here.

Probably because Grayson broke the thermostat trying to adjust the air conditioning and now he’s too proud to ask the hotel to fix it.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, he grins, biting the edge of my robe. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“There’s nothing underneath here.”

“Less work for me I guess.” His lips press to mine, teasing me with his tongue. Soft whimpers escape me as I spread my legs wider urging him forward.

He’s sweating and everywhere I touch is slick with a glistening sheen. I giggle. “You’re sweating like crazy.”

“Because it’s fucking hot,” he grunts, pushing forward.

Though it’s like every other time, Grayson’s arms shake as he holds himself above me. Fearing he’s overdoing it, or maybe the flight, the heat, something got to him, I tap my hands to his chest. “I wanna be on top,” I whisper, barely able to keep my mouth from his.

He lets me, rolling us carefully until I’m on top. Slowly I untie my robe to reveal my naked body to him. “Fuck, you’re so damn beautiful.”

I gained some weight back since the attack and finally my boobs look less like teenage me and more like twenty-three-year-old wife status. I even have a damn tan on my pasty white ass. Working my hips back and forth, Grayson closes his eyes, a soft grunt making its way through his lips.

He grabs a hold of my hips, then slides them up my spine, flattening his palm against my back, urging me forward.

My chest meets his, then his lips. Lifting his legs, his feet are flat on the mattress, leverage for driving into me hard.

His arms are wrapped so tightly around my waist it makes it hard to move.

Lucky for me, he’s doing all the movements for us.

One of his hands trails to the back of my head. He takes a handful of my hair and gently tugs until my throat is exposed for him. “I can’t believe I have you for the rest of my life,” he whispers, his lips moving slowly against my overly heated skin.

I’m not sure if it’s the angle, or that my husband has gotten really good at getting me off but we let loose completely. Grayson rolls me onto my back, our bodies moving in sync, a frantic pace set by our consuming desire to be like this, welded together our entire honeymoon.

“Are you close?” he asks, his lips parted at my collarbone, panting, trying like hell to control himself. He slows his rhythm, his legs tensing. “I want to come with you.”

I can’t form a coherent response. I can’t when his words come out strangled like that, as if any minute he’s going to fall apart. It’s too much.

“Are you almost there?”

I nod, no words surfacing. They’re stuck in my throat. Held hostage by the man above me.

He stops kissing my neck and waits for my response. I bring my hands to his face, kissing him slowly. “Yes, don’t stop.”

He nods, giving me his entire weight, melding our bodies together as one. We are one. Experiencing the same sensations, same high, at the exact same time.

We fall as one.

On the last night of our honeymoon, we’re in the pool outside our room watching the sunset. It’s raining, much like our wedding day. “What do you think rain on your honeymoon means?”

Grayson’s staring at the water, uninterested in anything around him. Including his bride in the skimpiest bikini ever. It’s literally a couple triangles and string… thanks to Frankie.

He doesn’t answer me until I splash water in his face. “Grayson?”

His eyes lift to mine. “What?” His hearing still sucks at times and I realize I’m on his bad side.

“Are you okay?”

He winks, as if he’s trying to be cute and not get in trouble for ignoring me. “Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

His brow furrows but he forces a soft smile. “My ears are ringing.”

“Oh, sorry. You want to go inside?”

“No. It’ll pass.” He moves toward me, inching forward, closer like a shark hunting its prey. “What did you say?”

Raindrops hit my nose and eyelashes. “I asked if it’s bad luck to have it rain your entire honeymoon?”

He’s smiling now and I hadn’t realized how much these smiles meant to me now. You do when you go months without seeing them. “I think it means forever.”

“Is that so?”

“It has to be.” Snaking his hands around my backside, he draws me into him.

My back hits the edge of the pool. The drops of rain hitting the sky blue water around us sound familiar.

They drip off Grayson’s nose and an image works its way into my memory.

One of Shane hovering above me, rain on his chin and falling into me.

I blink and it’s gone, replaced with the one who fought so hard to stay in my life all these years.

Though I no longer have nightmares about Shane, I still think about him and what he took from us.

We might have went through a year of therapy but it’s truth what they say.

Time heals all wounds. How much time? Well, that’s different for everyone.

Grayson moves closer, his lips destine on mine. Our kiss is messy, salty with humidity and rain. I almost laugh at the irony of the relation to this guy who holds my heart and now my life in his hands. He’s salty and sweet.

Tears surface, not from sadness, but happiness. I’m so damn in love with him I can’t stand it. He notices the change in my demeanor. He always does. “You’re not supposed to cry when I’m kissing you. It’s a rule.”

“I can when I’m happy.”

He pulls back, an eyebrow curved. “But you’re crying.” Holding my face in his hands, he searches my eyes for the reason.

“I’m excited that we’re here, starting our lives together. I can’t wait to get back home and move into our house, officially, and be husband and wife there.”

A chuckle leaves his lips. “I’ll fix the plumbing.”

“I don’t even mind the outhouse in our backyard.”

“I do,” he grumbles into my ear. His tone sends a spark of shivers through me and I hold onto him tighter, my legs circling around his waist. “There’s a hornet’s nest in there.”

I’ve yet to get stung but Grayson and Frankie have been stung four times so far. It was enough that Frankie refuses to use the Port-A-Potty and it’s given Grayson the motivation to finish the plumbing in the house.

“Still,” I draw him closer. “This feels like forever is finally within reach.”

He kisses me once more. “I’ll give you everything, honey.”

“All I want is you and a couple babies that have your brown eyes.”

His lips quirk. “We should probably fuck again then.”

I laugh at his crassness. “You’re such a boy.”

“I’m your boy. Always. Forever.” His expression bleeds possessiveness, but there’s sincerity in his words too, spoken with the same affirmation he gave me when he said his vows. Then he pushes my bikini bottom aside, his fingers dancing over my clit.

I lay my head back against the edge of the pool, raindrops hitting my face.

And though this is familiar, looking up at a water soaked sky scattered with dark clouds, I have no fear for the one between my legs, panting that he loves me.

I don’t because his promises don’t come with circumstances.

I don’t trust words. I trust actions and the one who gave me forever and always.

3 WEEKS LATER

“Do you think it worked?”

“I don’t know.” Grayson runs his hand through his hair nervously, biting his lip. “Maybe my swimmers don’t work.”

“Swimmers?” I raise an eyebrow watching him pace the bathroom at his parent’s house. It was closer to the Rite Aid and we couldn’t wait to take the test until we got back to our house. Also, no plumbing and I didn’t really want to share this experience while fighting off angry hornets.

Grayson waves his hand around and leans into the counter next to the toilet. “Just take the damn test.”

My hands shake as I lower my shorts. “Turn your head.”

Crossing his arms, he looks over at me, offended. “ Why ?”

I stare at him. Blinking slowly. Shouldn’t it be obvious? “So I can pee.”

“Are you serious? I literally had my mouth on your clit this morning. Twice. And you’re worried about me seeing you pee?”

“Grayson….”

He sighs, heavily. “Fine. Jesus.” He turns his back to me, but not before rolling his eyes very dramatically. “Pee. ”

As girly and carefully as I can, I sit down on the toilet and attempt to pee on the stick. Setting it on the counter, I hurry up and lift my shorts up. Yes, I wiped and flushed the toilet. After washing my hands, I stand in front of Grayson.

He shakes his head, smiling. “You’re something else.”

I slap my wet hands to his cheeks. “And you’re wet.”

His smile is wide, unfazed by the water on his cheeks. “Do you feel different?”

“We don’t know if it worked.”

Backing me up against the wall, he holds me there, his face inches from mine. “That just means we keep trying.”

“I know.” I search his eyes, looking for an emotion. I don’t even know which one I’m looking for. Maybe assurance. “When should we look.”

“It said two minutes.” He holds me hostage against the wall. “I can think of a few things we can do in those two minutes.”

“Mmmm.” I sigh into his lips when he presses his weight into mine. Twisting, he picks me up and sets me onto the counter beside the test deciding what our next nine months might bring. I resist the urge to look while Grayson works his mouth up the side of my neck.

And then he chuckles, shaking his head.

“What?”

He pulls back, my face in his hands. His eyes flash with that same emotion he did when he said I do. Crazy, undeterred love. “What does two pink lines mean?”

My heart jumps into my throat. “What?” I snap my eyes to his and then the test he picks up and holds between us. I grin so wide it hurts my cheeks. “Your swimmers work!”

There’s a distinct gleam in his eyes. “My swimmers work,” he whispers, his lips finding mine.

“They’re like rocket fuel.”

Sighing, he shakes his head, his lips tracing my jaw line. “I’ll never live that one down.”

Cradling me to his chest, his warm arms wrap around my waist. I lean back to look at his serene, peaceful face and kiss him. “Nope. But… we’re having a baby ,” I squeal, unable to hold back my excitement any longer. I cling to his body, wrapping my legs and arms around him as tight as I can.

He doesn’t say anything more but his hold says enough. He clings to me and it’s exactly what I need, and completely different from the last time I saw two pink lines and the disappointment that held.

Always. Forever. This baby growing inside me is going to be loved by two people.