Page 76 of All I Have Left

GRAYSON

W ell, I certainly fucked that up, didn’t I? But you know what, it needed to happen. That argument has been festering since I left the hospital and we both knew it. It doesn’t mean I wanted it to happen and know all that shit she told me.

I want to leave, to drive away, drink, get drunk, fuck something up, but I can’t.

For two hours, I lie in the back of my dad’s truck and stare up at the sky, on the verge of tears. People come and go, leave, the music beginning to fade with the night. But I remain unfazed by it all, lost in a hell I don’t understand. I can’t take any more of this bullshit.

At some point, my dad finds me. “Get up,” he snaps.

“Just fucking leave me alone, Jesus Christ,” I sigh, bringing my hands to my hair and pulling my knees up, trying to will these brutal images and reactions from my mind. “Why is everyone so goddamn relentless?”

He doesn’t budge. He doesn’t look amused with me either. “Because we love you,” he states simply, casually leaning into the tailgate of his truck. “And you’re in the back of my truck so unless you want me to drive home with you in it, get the fuck out.”

Sitting up, I stare at him. I can’t bring myself to say anything.

His eyes find mine as he looks over his shoulder at me. “Tell me something.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Boy, knock it off,” he growls. “You’re acting like an asshole.”

“Fine, what?”

He points to the bar in the distance. “That girl, she never left your side. Forty-two days and she stayed with you every single night until you were asleep. And for the last three months, she’s taken care of you while you treated her like shit.

If Evie was the one in your position, would you let her give up? ”

That gets my attention, and I think about it for a second longer than I want to.

“I wouldn’t,” I mumble, tears hitting me out of nowhere.

I’ve thought about what I would have done if Evie had been hurt like I was.

And every time I come back to one thought.

She’s my world. It begins and ends with her. So no, I wouldn’t let her give up.

That’s when it hits me. She deserves to have someone be there for her and give her love without treating her like shit in the process.

The reality slams into me. Hell, it takes my goddamn breath from me when I think about what she said.

Maybe we should just take a break.

I can’t let that happen. I can’t lose my girl.