Page 9 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

Declan

H ave I really just asked that?

What the fuck?

As if it wasn’t enough I sported a semi in front of her yesterday, now I’m commenting on her clothes.

She looks hot in that dress. But for fuck’s sake, everyone could almost see her… That dress is too short.

Longer than her shorts yesterday, but it’s all flowy, and as she moves, it shimmies around her, drawing attention to her beautiful legs. But to her other parts, as well. They remain hidden, but so within reach in her indecent dress.

Or rather, my thoughts about her are indecent. It might be a normal summer dress, but it isn’t innocent in my dirty thoughts .

I should have fired her yesterday. I didn’t, because she’s getting me a new nanny next week. One that isn’t her. And I don’t have time to find someone sooner, so having her here temporarily makes sense.

It made sense yesterday. In the light of this morning, I’m not so sure. It’s going to be a long week.

“Obviously.” She puts her hands on her hips.

The action lifts the dress slightly more. My gaze drops to the lightly tanned skin, but I catch myself and start moving around, tidying up after the kids.

When I say nothing—because, let’s face it, haven’t I said enough already—Lily steps in front of me, blocking my useless activity.

“This is what I am wearing. Sorry it’s not up to your standards, but I wasn’t aware there is a dress code. Anything else?”

Her nose is small and slightly curved to one side. I never noticed that before. The imperfection makes her even more interesting. I wish she would ditch those glasses. They hide half of her beautiful face.

I finally meet her eyes—something I try not to do for her own sake—and I find a challenge in them. Right, she asked something.

“Please don’t move the furniture around, and don’t lean against the windows.” I guess we both can lead a successful passive-aggressive conversation .

“What?”

I close my eyes briefly and take a deep breath. Only now I’m engulfed in the subtle scent of coconut.

When I look down at her, she is glaring back.

“You heard me. Just do your job, and get me a permanent nanny.” I look at my watch. “And you better leave so the kids are not late. Again .”

It’s much safer to repel her with my attitude.

A pink hue warms her cheeks. “As you wish.” She smiles and leaves.

I know her obedience was as passive-aggressive as our conversation. I’m equally aware her agreement was to mock me.

And yet it does something to the deepest, darkest, depraved corners of my soul.

What if she was this pliable in… Fuck, don’t go there.

I stare at the spreadsheet, the numbers blurring in front of my eyes. There is something wrong with these projections, but I can’t point it out. I had the best people from my team on it, but I guess I can’t trust anyone.

Fuck. I’m exhausted. I press the intercom, connecting with my assistant. “Can you, please, get me another coffee?”

I haven’t slept much this week. It’s been a blur of meetings, calls, number crunching, and stolen glimpses of Lily. In reality, I have done nothing productive this week.

If I don’t count a few satisfying jerk-off sessions. Courtesy of my nanny. Not that she knows—or could ever know.

Since I didn’t fire Lily, I made myself scarce. I dove into work to avoid her. In the last few days, it also meant I didn’t see my kids much. I miss them, and I really hate losing even the little time we have together.

But it’s only for a week. Well, only for today, as it finally is Friday.

Not sure when I became the man who hides instead of attacking his problems head-on, but here we are.

I have no control around Lily. Or rather, the last threads of control I had burst the minute she walked into my penthouse.

She is too young. I come with all the complications of a busy man with a busy family. This makes no sense for either of us. I need to squash my infatuation and move on with life.

It’s not like we could hook up. I’m not particularly attached to the group that formed because Cal and Corm fell for their women, but having a one-night stand with Lily would only add unnecessary tension.

On Monday, I will get a new nanny, and then I can go back to the life I know. One where I have control. One that I’ve carefully crafted to make sure the kids don’t suffer much from the absence of their mother.

One that, if I’m honest with myself, I arranged so I can deal with the demands I never saw myself addressing.

Back to safety and order.

One more day.

I will delete her footage from my security system tonight.

Yes, in the last few days I went into hiding, and into full-blown stalker mode. I’ve never logged into my home security as many times as this week. Who am I kidding? I haven’t logged out this week.

Lily didn’t destroy the house, and doesn’t engage in any other outlandish entertainment ploys anymore.

She talks to the kids—more Zoya than Zach, which is not surprising—paying eager attention. I respect her for that.

She herds them around to do their homework with proficiency. I admire her for that.

She laughs with them a lot. Way more than they’ve ever laughed with me. I hate her for that a little.

But mostly, I just stare at her. She is clumsy, dropping things. She is giggly, chatting with my housekeeper. She is all bright and positive, but there is something behind those eyes. Something I want to unravel, and I have no idea why.

It’s like I armor myself with a glower while she protects herself with a smile. And while I believe her smiles are genuine, I feel like they are her weapon as well.

Fuck. I’m really deep into this nonsense. A few more hours and she’s gone.

My assistant knocks and enters with my coffee. “Mr. Quinn would like to see you in his office.”

“We don’t have a meeting.” Why would my brother summon me?

“It’s all partners for a few moments.”

“Okay.” I take my mug and walk over to Corm’s office. “What’s going on?”

Xander lounges on the sofa, and Corm is finishing a call. I guess we’re waiting for Cal. I take a sip of my coffee.

“Good, you’re here.” Corm turns in his chair.

“Where is Cal? What’s going on?” Xander plays with his phone, tapping it on his leg and flipping it over before he repeats the move. The kid is never still.

“Celeste’s waters broke. Cal can’t make it for the Aertech board meeting, which means I have to go instead. Someone needs to represent us at the mayor’s dinner party.”

“I’ll go,” I blurt, and both men turn their heads to me.

“You?” Corm frowns.

Okay, I guess his surprise is guaranteed since I never volunteer for any evening engagement, and even the obligatory ones I try to wriggle out from.

“Is this some sort of attempt to prove you’re needed in the States?” Xander snorts.

Fucker. “This has nothing to do with your genius idea to ship me to London.”

It has everything to do with avoiding my nanny. Even though it makes no sense, because she’ll leave when I arrive home from work.

This way I’ll have to ask her to stay longer. Like having her longer in my space—while I’m not there—would solve anything.

It would give the kids more time with her before she says goodbye. That’s the only reason. One I can use when I look in a mirror. Fuck.

“Calm down, Dec, I’m not trying to ship you anywhere. I’d go in a heartbeat—a taste of English pussy is on my bucket list.” He grins like he said something amusing. “But you know I can’t leave at the moment. ”

“This is not about London. And for the record, I have nothing to prove.” I start to leave. “Send me the details,” I say to Corm.

“I guess I don’t need to cancel my date,” Xander’s voice reaches me.

“What’s going on?” Corm catches up with me as I enter my office.

“You need to be more specific.”

“You hated these things even before you had kids.” Corm sums up the truth. “Where are they tonight?”

“With the nanny.”

“I didn’t know she works evenings.” Corm leans in my doorway.

“I thought you had a plane to catch to get to the board meeting.” I sit behind my desk.

Corm steps in and closes the door behind him. “Why do you want to miss an evening with your kids? Like you’ve been doing all this week.”

Fuck. “How do you know that?”

“Roxy.” He shrugs.

Of course, nothing escapes her. “I’m not avoiding my kids,” I growl.

“Interesting choice of words. Who are you avoiding?” He puts his hands in his pockets, a gleeful smirk on his face.

“Lily.” I sigh .

Corm laughs. “Do you have a crush on your nanny?”

“Fuck off. What am I, fifteen?” Yes, if we consider my latest behavior. “She’s just everywhere, invading my space.”

“She is there for your kids.”

“I know,” I snap.

“You are attracted to her.”

He sits down like he is expecting popcorn and a show. I hate how perceptive my brother is. When I don’t answer, he laughs.

“Get out of my office.” I open a folder and pretend to review whatever is in it.

“Look, if it was anyone else, I would tell you to fuck the nanny, have fun. God knows you’ve been living like a monk. A good shag is what you need.”

“When you have kids, you’ll definitely see sex with your nanny in a new light.” I glower. “I have work to do.”

If I hoped that would make him leave, I was wrong.

“Okay, sleeping with your nanny is complicated, but it’s not like they stay around long enough,” he dares to tease me. “What I wanted to say… This is not just your nanny. Lily is my wife’s friend. Don’t go there.”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

It’s true, but it tastes like a lie. I don’t lie to my brother. But apparently, nothing is right today .

He stands up. “You know, Declan, you can have a woman in your life. You’re single. Kendra has been gone for a long time. Maybe it’s time to get back out there.”

“You’ve been married for a minute, most of it faking, so I’ll make sure to consider your advice.”

“Dickhead.” He shakes his head.

“Asshole,” I counter, because apparently, we’re both fifteen.

He smirks. “I’ll send you the event details.”

It’s almost eleven when I come home. The dinner, the small talk, and a few divorcees’ advances made it a torturous night.