Page 34 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

Lily

“ Y ou need to be really gentle, Zoya,” Saar says, lifting a smelly litter box to take it outside.

Saar started volunteering at the shelter after she quit her modeling career. To her husband’s initial chagrin, it ended up with them owning an adorable kitten, and recently they adopted a traumatized dog.

I hover with the kids above a box with four tiny kittens. “You can pet them, but with your finger only. Super gently.”

“Is Auntie cleaning kitty poop?” Zach, with his arms crossed over his chest, wrinkles his nose.

“Yes, she is preparing fresh litter for the cats.” I smile, watching Zoya’s attempts to be gentle.

“I think I’m a dog person,” Zach says firmly, and walks down the long corridor lined with large cages.

“Once I’m finished here, we will take some of them for a walk, okay?” Saar comes back with the box.

“Lily, can we take these cute kittens home?” Zoya pulls at my sleeve.

“They’re too young for that, and you’d need to talk to your dad about it, not me.” I try to pull her toward the dogs, hoping that would take that pout off her face.

Her father will kill me if I add a pet to his overwhelming list of responsibilities. He would probably scowl at the added responsibility of having that conversation with Zoya.

The few days since the gala have passed in bliss, with me mostly being busy with the kids because Declan had to leave on an unexpected business trip. I thought the distance would dim the sparkle, but the man calls me every morning and every night like clockwork.

It’s exhilarating and confusing. It deepens the intimacy between us, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. It’s like we jumped into this whirlpool of something that doesn’t feel casual, but we’re avoiding the complexity of our union.

“Okay, let’s get the leashes,” Saar announces, and Zoya skips behind her while Zach walks with his spine straight, eyeing everything with curious disinterest—an oxymoron to some, a perfectly mastered ability to this little man .

We get coffees on the way to the nearby dog run, and sit on a bench while the dogs and the kids run around. Or Zoya runs, and Zach roams behind like her bodyguard.

“You finally shed the ugly glasses.” Saar nudges my shoulder.

Shit. “I guess I liked the contacts at the gala.” I shrug, hating that I lie to my friend. Yet again.

“You looked great. You’re such a beautiful woman, Lily. You need to own it.”

“Thank you. I’ll try.”

“Are you okay?” She eyes me for a moment, but then returns her attention to the running dogs.

I sigh. “Have you ever kept a big secret from Corm?”

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“I haven’t been completely forward about my past with you and the girls, and sometimes, I feel like I’m lying to you.”

“Lils, I figured there are things you’re not ready to share.

You came here to pursue an acting career was what you told Cora at first, but you never go for any auditions.

I wondered if those glasses and hair were perhaps a disguise.

The long sleeves in this heat are also not completely normal.

And, yes, my ego demands you tell me what the story is, but then I respect that you’re not ready to share. Or that you can’t for whatever reason.”

My eyes well up. “Thank you.” I wipe a tear. “I didn’t realize you’re so observant. Do Celeste and Cora know?”

“Yeah, Celeste says we’re crazy, but Cora and I, we have a bet running. She thinks you’re in witness protection.”

I gape at her. “For real?”

“Are you?”

“No.” I chuckle nervously.

“You wouldn’t be able to tell me, anyway. My money is on a murder.”

In the midst of a sip, I almost spit out my coffee. “You think I murdered someone?” I whisper.

She shrugs, mischief in her eyes. “It’s always the unsuspected ones.”

I shake my head, grinning. “Your imagination is wild.”

“Look, you came here, and you found your footing. Whatever you had to leave behind is in the past. You’ve showed up for us enough times for me to know you would tell us if you could.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. But—”

“I know, Lils. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you won’t bring danger to us. And I hope that if you do feel in danger, we’ve proved to you already that you can trust us.”

“A million times over.”

“You showed up and fit right in. I’m glad I have you in my life.”

“You even drank the atrocious coffees I made at Cora’s. I don’t know why it’s so hard to foam milk and prepare a latte.”

She snorts. “I never drank them, and it really is not that hard.”

I laugh, and then suddenly I just can’t keep it all inside me. “My family is very controlling and set in their ways. There was a reason I had to leave…”

Perhaps it’s the added secret about me and Declan, but suddenly I feel that if I don’t share at least some of it, I will lose my mind.

Saar says nothing, waiting for me to either continue or to drop it. She would respect my choice, and it gives me courage.

“But it was only after I left and was forced to gain my independence that I realized how much I’ve been manipulated.

How little choice I had growing up. How my path was decided for me, not by me.

These past eighteen months have been such a great revelation.

I learned so much about myself. And I met some amazing people. ”

Saar smiles at me. “Will you ever go back? ”

“I don’t know. A part of me is homesick, but I know that a lot will have to change. The newly discovered me wouldn’t be able to return to the status quo. And the status quo is too ingrained in my family.”

“Does your family know where you are?”

“No, and it has to stay that way.”

“You have no contact with any of them?”

I shake my head. I miss my father terribly, but when it mattered he didn’t choose me, so I’m not sure he would step up for me if I returned.

“Zoya.” Zach’s voice spurs us both up from the bench.

“Fuck,” Saar curses, but I’m already running toward the kids.

And dogs.

Zoya is wrestling with a large Newfoundland.

“No.” I try to stop Zach from rescuing his sister, but I’m too late, and his jerky move spooks a mongrel from Saar’s shelter. The dog topples Zach to the ground.

Luckily, Saar interferes, and I focus on Zoya.

With my heart pounding, I grab Zoya’s arm, ready to pull her to safety.

“Are you okay?” I gasp, keeping my panic at bay. For now.

Zoya giggles. Giggles .

The gigantic dog sprawled over her wags its tail happily, its massive tongue lolling out as it licks her face with unrestrained enthusiasm.

“I’m cuddling!” Zoya announces, wrapping her tiny arms around the dog’s thick neck like she’s hugging a giant teddy bear. “His name is Mawshmallow, and he loves me!”

I blink. “You—you’re cuddling?” Relief washes over me.

Zach groans dramatically from the ground. “I jumped in to save you,” he grumbles, rubbing his elbow as he sits up.

Saar is already helping him, checking for any signs of an actual injury, but he looks more disgruntled than hurt.

Marshmallow’s owner issues a command, and the dog rolls off Zoya who sits up. Her hands still wrapped in fluffy fur, she blinks at her brother. “Fwom what?”

“From that.” Zach gestures to the Newfoundland, which is now rolling onto its back, paws in the air, letting Zoya scratch its belly.

“Mawshmallow is a good boy,” Zoya insists, looking deeply offended on behalf of her new best friend.

Saar smirks, ruffling Zach’s hair. “Your heroism is noted, kid. Maybe next time, check if the damsel actually needs rescuing first.”

Zach looks from his sister to the dog, his face twisting in disgust. “You wanted to be on the ground? ”

“I love the gwound.” Zoya beams, hugging Marshmallow again as he lets out a happy huff. “It’s the best place to snuggle.”

Zach scowls. “You’re impossible.”

Zoya scrunches her nose at him. “I’m having fun.”

Saar snorts, covering her mouth, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing as Zach mutters, “God help me.”

Just then, Marshmallow stands up, shaking his giant body—and sends a wave of slobber straight into Zach’s face.

Zach freezes. Slowly, painstakingly, he wipes his hand across his cheek, looking like he might re-evaluate every life decision he’s made in his short life.

Zoya claps her hands. “That means he loves you, too!”

Zach glares at me. “We’re never coming here again.” He marches to the gate. “Thank you for inviting us, Auntie.” He remembers his manners before he reaches the entrance to the enclosure and starts wiping the dust from his clothes.

I look at Saar, and we both turn so he doesn’t see us laughing.

“What happened to you?” Declan stops his descent from upstairs .

I didn’t expect him to be home already, and the sight of him in his suit makes my stomach flutter. It’s been only a few days, and I almost forgot how good the man looks. Or how drawn I am to him.

“Daddy, we walked the dogs.” Zoya runs to him.

Even Zach moves with some enthusiasm to welcome his father. “I missed you, Dad.”

He squats to hug his kids, kissing their cheeks. His eyes find me while the two snuggle against him.

The need to run and join them catches me unprepared. His set jaw and hardened gaze even more. I avert my eyes and pick up the backpacks to take them to the kitchen.

“What dogs? And why do you look like the dogs walked you?”

I grin at that while I enter the kitchen area.

“Don’t even ask,” Zach grumbles.

“I was cuddling Mawshmallow on the gwound, and Zach wanted to save me.”

“And I regretted it,” the little man points out.

“Okay, you can tell me the whole story later. Go to the bathroom, so you can have a proper bath. I’ll be right there.”

I busy myself emptying the children’s bottles and still feel strangely uneasy about Declan’s expression. Is he mad about the dogs? Has he changed his mind about us ?

But we spoke this morning, so what has changed?

I feel him enter, and before I turn, he steps behind me, caging me against the counter. He turns off the water.

He doesn’t say anything, just stands there for a beat before he lowers his mouth to my ear, and my entire body quivers.

With anticipation.

With recognition.

With need.

“I missed you,” he practically groans, and cups me between my thighs.

“I missed you too.” I match his groan with a mew, or some unidentifiable sound as he dips his fingers through the crotch of my shorts and sinks them between my folds. My knees buckle.

“Spread your legs,” he whispers, the command in his tone igniting wild desire in every cell of my body.

“The kids,” I warn, but stand as wide as I can, unable to deny him.

“They are loud enough for us to know their whereabouts in the house.” He thrusts at least two fingers inside me. “So wet for me, Seagull. Such a good girl. Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours.” I moan loudly as he crooks his fingers inside me, and immediately whimper when he stops moving .

“You will have to be quiet.” He chokes out, barely hanging onto his control.

Stepping back, he pushes me between my shoulder blades, bending me over the counter to gain better access.

I bite my forearm to muffle the sounds. He’s been at it for a minute and a half, and I’m almost there, completely mad with yearning.

With his other hand he kneads my tits, alternating, as his fingers move in and out without finesse.

It’s not gentle or romantic. It’s messy and crude. And I explode around his fingers in record time.

“It’s nice to be home.” He leans forward and kisses my cheek.

I’m going to rest on this counter for a moment, or a day, before I can move again.

Pulling his fingers out of me, a gush of my arousal leaks down my legs. What a mess. Jesus.

He brings his fingers to my lips and smears all around them. “Taste yourself, baby.”

I dart out my tongue, and he shoves his fingers inside. Every time I think I’ve caught up on all my lack of experience, he surprises me.

I suck on my fingers, tilting my head so I can see his face. Full of reverence. Of hunger. Of yearning.

“Daddy, we awe waiting and I’m cold. ”

I freeze, but Declan seems unperturbed. “Lily is coming to help you.”

Bastard.

He reaches for a paper towel and wipes my thighs quickly.

“Me?” I peel myself from the counter and stumble like a newborn lamb.

He points to his crotch and shrugs with a smirk. “I can’t go there like this, obviously.”