Page 48 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

I grip his small shoulders, forcing him to meet my gaze. “Not everyone. Your dad? He will always be here. And me?” I brush my fingers through Zoya’s hair. “I will always love you, no matter where I am.”

Zoya’s tiny fingers tighten on the fabric of my skirt, her voice trembling. “I don’t want you to go.”

Neither do I.

“I know it’s not fair, but I need you both to be brave, okay?”

Zoya sniffles, wiping at her eyes. “Okay, I’ll be bwave fow you. I hope youw dad gets bettew soon, so you can come back.”

“You both need to be brave for your daddy, and take good care of him.”

Hopefully, my plea gives these little angels some reassurance. That in my absence, their dad still has them.

“Hopefully your dad gets better before I get my cast down,” Zach says, and I barely keep it together.

Declan returns and Zoya runs to him. He scoops her up, closing his eyes, holding her close. I’m grateful he has them to comfort him. I’m mad at him for pushing me away, but I don’t think I can get through to him now.

“Zach, you will need to stay here tonight. They need to make sure your wrist doesn’t swell under the cast. It’s just a precaution.” He sits at the bed, Zoya snuggled in his lap.

“Okay,” Zach says, his voice shaking slightly.

“I can stay with him,” I offer.

“I’ll stay.” Declan doesn’t look at me.

“Okay, Zoya and I will make you breakfast when you arrive tomorrow,” I say, hopeful that this turn of events will force us to stay together, and Declan will realize he’s acting out of frustration and fear.

“Actually, I called my mom. Zoya can stay with her.” He stands up, still holding Zoya. He kisses her cheeks, still avoiding my eyes.

It feels like it’s been ages since he treated me like this. Like I don’t exist.

I noticed you.

He said that to me, but it feels like I’m invisible to him now. He doesn’t even want me to stay with his daughter.

“Maybe you can take her over there?” He finally looks at me. It’s like he is staring over me, the gaze I grew to love, to cherish, to provoke, gone.

“Of course. ”

As I leave with Zoya, I wonder if of course are the last words I will ever tell him.

Zoya chats in the car, but I only hear half of it, my mind returning to the hospital. You need to go be with your father. I need to be with my son. With both my kids.

That may be true, but it’s not a finality. I need to visit my father, but I want to be with Declan and his kids. I love Zach and Zoya like they are mine.

He may push me away now, but I know he doesn’t mean that. Does he? This is a horrible situation we are currently in. Instead of leaning into me, he’s pushed me away. I’m not going to let him.

I’ll delay my flight by a few hours and wait for him, so we can talk, and I can show him we are stronger than this. Because I hope we are. I believe we are.

I just hope I’m not the only one fighting for us.

“It’s going to be okay.” Zoya snuggles closer to me.

I hug her little body tightly, drawing strength from her. “Zach will recover quickly.”

“But evewything else, too.”

My heart gallops so fast, it may just escape my chest. What did she pick up on? How do I explain ?

She tilts her head to look at me. “Youw daddy will be okay, and you will come back.”

Jesus. “Sweetheart, you know how you were really sad on the last day because your teacher will no longer be your teacher? I told you the new teacher will be equally nice, and you said I can’t know that?”

She nods, her lower lip quivering.

“This is similar. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it doesn’t matter what happens; you have a very special space in my heart, and that will never change. I know that.”

“I will be bwave fow you and fow Daddy.”

It sucks that she needs to be. It sucks that I am who I am, and her brother is in the hospital because of that.

It sucks that her father experienced so much turmoil in his life already that another blow has him doubting everything.

It sucks that I have to leave.

Dorothy welcomes us with a concerned smile. At least her residence isn’t surrounded by reporters.

“Zoya, love, there are fresh cookies in the kitchen.”

“Yummie.” Zoya hugs my legs one last time and skips away.

“How is Zach?” Dorothy asks.

“He’s good. Very brave. His wrist is broken though, so he’s got a cast.”

“I guess you’re postponing the trip? What a shame; the change of scenery would help you all. At least the story will die down in the meantime. I suspect Declan is suing everyone.”

“He’s focusing on Zach now.” I evade her question, because if I tell her I’m leaving alone, I may just start crying.

“I’m so glad those kids have you in their lives now.” She takes my hand. I guess I’ll start crying regardless. “Thank God all that dreadful business with Kendra is behind us.”

Behind us? “What do you mean? I didn’t know the hearing had already happened.”

“There was no hearing. I thought Declan told you that he settled out of court. But I guess that was shortly after you started working for him, so he wouldn’t share that.”

“He settled?” I repeat like a parrot, because it doesn’t make sense. Shortly after I started working for him? I think my exhausted mind makes little sense of anything anymore.

“Yes, she gave up her parental rights finally. She was always after his money only. Some women should not be allowed to have children.”

I mumble something unintelligible and leave in a hurry. I can’t handle another goodbye with Zoya. And I need to replay Dorothy’s words to comprehend them.

She lives only three blocks from the penthouse, so I decide to walk. Why didn’t he tell me Kendra settled? When I told him he couldn’t move to England for work because of the custody battle, he flinched.

I thought it was because he didn’t think of that argument. Was I wrong? Was it because that argument was void?

Did he really settle shortly after I started working for him? Why the marriage then?

All the unanswered questions swirl in my head. There is something that doesn’t add up. But one thing is clear.

Declan kept something from me. Just like I kept something from him. And in light of his secret, his reaction to mine feels like another betrayal.

People keep things to themselves for a reason. What was his reason? It hurts that he would do that.

What hurts even more is that my marriage—however fake—suddenly feels like everything in my life as Liliana Spinelli. My relationship with Declan suddenly feels like that world.

Secrets and lies.