Page 29 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

I shiver as if the temperature dipped suddenly. He looks at the ugly scar covering my forearm and part of my torso, a network of faint lines and ridges, like a landscape forever marked by fire, a quiet testament to pain endured and never forgotten.

He stills and stares at it.

In that moment, I know.

My body still tingles with desire, making my skin hot and cold at the same time.

But my heart and mind already know that the moment is over.

He sees the damage. He will see me damaged. He will focus on all the broken pieces.

In the last attempt to change the outcome of tonight, to return it to what it could be… I cup his face, forcing his gaze away from the scars.

I plead with my eyes… desperately hoping he didn’t really see it in the low light. The ugly reminder of my past.

I plead… no, I dare him to stay in the moment. To let us have this moment without the inevitable gory story. Just this one moment when my past doesn’t invade the first good thing that’s happened to me in the longest time.

Something dark passes through his eyes, his breath ragged.

His gaze on me is too much, penetrating the hidden crevices of my consciousness, reading me like he is trying to comprehend the story I don’t want to share. Not tonight. Not like this .

His eyes on me burn… No longer with that delicious temptation and need from earlier. They burn with unanswered questions, even with my own guilt for keeping things from him.

With everything unspoken and hidden. With my lies. And my secrets.

And then, when I’m sure it’s all over before it even started, he lifts my arm and starts kissing the scarred tissue with the same reverence he kissed my lips, my cleavage, my pussy. Like it’s a part of me, equally beautiful to him.

My breath hitches as I swallow a sob. His gaze keeps me prisoner as he turns my arm in his hand, planting kisses over my ugly skin.

“Declan—” The whisper sounds indecently loud after the moment of holding my breath, and the stillness of his discovery.

“Tell me you need this as much as I do.” His hoarse voice is my undoing. It’s nourishing in a familiar way, but also new, filled with desperation.

“I need this,” I whisper, and Declan yanks my dress down along with the scraps of my panties. He cups my nape and pulls me in for a kiss.

He’s taller and stronger, but somehow my naked body molds into his, the fabric of his shirt soft on my marred skin.

Reaching for his belt, I fidget with the buckle, and then with the zipper, unable to get the job done while he kisses me frantically like I’m his oxygen.

I’m about to push his pants down, but he steps back and sits on the lounger, pulling me with him to straddle him. His hot mouth finds my nipple, grazing it with his teeth and then soothing it with his tongue.

I arch into him, wanting more of this. More of him. More of us.

He switches to my other breast, and I quiver. His large hands roam my back. I can get lost in this man.

He sucks with fervent dedication. I didn’t even realize my nipples were so sensitive, but I’m wild with arousal, grinding my hips, desperately seeking friction.

“So responsive. Such a good little Seagull.”

His words spark little detonations all over my body. “Declan…”

“Yes?” A hint of teasing laces his question. “Tell me what you need.”

Nothing has happened yet, and I’m dizzy, just putty in his arms. “I want you.”

“You need to be more specific. What part of me does your sweet pussy want?”

Oh, shit. I like how he talks dirty to me, and I-I thought such thoughts and played such fantasies in my head, but I can’t voice them. I’m not a prude, but… Am I a prude? I don’t have enough experience to know who I am sexually .

With one hand he cups my cheek, languidly dragging his thumb over my bottom lip. His other hand is doing the same to one of my nipples while his gaze holds me hostage.

“Come on, Lily, you’re thinking it.” A lazy smirk stretches on his face as he watches my reaction.

My breath comes out shallow and fast, heat coloring my cheeks. Is he not going to proceed if I don’t say it? Oh my God.

I cover my face, embarrassed. Not by his words, but by my inability to play the game on his level.

Declan pries my hands away from my face. I close my eyes. Because yeah, I’m really mature tonight.

But this man is way out of my scope of reference. No amount of porn could have prepared me for the intimacy that sprouted so effortlessly between us.

“Look at me, Lily.” He growls the command with an edge of finality, and I snap my eyes open.

The bastard is smirking wider. “Let me help you.” He moves my hand over his erection.

“This is how much I need you. This is what you do to me. I need my cock buried deep inside you. I need to fuck you so you come so hard, you won’t be able to walk. ”

He starts moving my hand over his hardness, letting out a guttural moan. I really do this to him. It’s more my curiosity than lust, but I pull out my hand from below his and peel the waistband of his briefs down.

His cock springs free, and Declan leans back on his elbows to let me discover more of him. But instead I freeze, and swallow a gasp.

“This will never fit.”

He chuckles and lies down, pulling me with him. My pussy is now perched over his length, and the friction is delicious.

“We will make it fit, Seagull.” He shuffles and pulls out a condom from his pocket, handing it to me.

I rip off the wrapper and take my time sheathing him. His cock is scary large, but it’s beautiful. Never have I thought I would call someone’s penis beautiful, but here we are. I slowly roll the condom down, and Declan hisses.

The sound of his hunger boosts my confidence, and I lower myself so his cock rests between my folds. I gyrate my hips, his erection creating a delicious build-up.

His belt buckle pokes my thigh, and I shift a bit before leaning forward to unbutton his shirt. “I need to see your collarbone.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Your dirty-talk game needs some work.”

I chuckle, opening his shirt. Humming with contentment, I trail my hands over his ridiculously defined pecs and chest. Leaning forward, I kiss his collarbone. “I can’t explain it, but your collarbone is sexy.”

He laughs. He laughs, and the sound is so precious, I almost forget what we are doing. He kisses me and then lifts my hips. “My collarbone is honored, but this boner needs you.”

I take his cock into my hand and align it at my entrance, but then hesitate. Fuck, it really is huge.

“Seagull, you’re in charge. We can go slowly, but you need to trust me.” He brushes my clit with his thumb and my pelvis trembles, then relaxes. Before I realize, his tip is inside me, stretching me.

The sight of our connection is mesmerizing, and it spurs me forward. I sink deeper, and this time the burn ignites between my thighs, and while it’s not too bad, it is uncomfortable.

“You’re killing me here, Lily. Your pussy is so tight. So perfect.” Every word is laced with restraint, like he’s holding something volatile inside. God, I want to unravel him. That need almost takes my mind from the pain. Almost.

I need to get out of my head. This man knows what he’s doing, and I want this. “Declan…” I pant. “I need you to be in charge.”

His gaze darkens, and he stills completely. “Are you sure? Because I’m barely hanging onto my control here, and—”

“Take me, Declan. Make me scream your name.” The king of control is losing it, and the thought injects confidence into my veins.

“Fuck, Lily. I warned you.”

He grips my hips and thrusts up at the same time as he jerks me down, impaling me on his cock.

I cry out, but I don’t even have time to adjust or to contemplate how full I am, and he starts moving. His hands firm on my hips, he controls the tempo, grinding his jaw. And while he said he won’t be able to control himself, I can see he’s still taking it easy on me.

A part of me wants to provoke him to let go, but let’s keep it for the next time, because right now I’m so deliciously filled, I can’t cope with anything else.

He circles his thumb around my clit, and I relax enough for the pain to turn into a heady sensation, and before I realize I start bouncing, chasing my own orgasm.

“Atta, girl. Ride my cock, little Seagull.”

His hands freed, he reaches for my tits and kneads and pinches and toys with them. My knees go weak; I don’t even know where the energy to move comes from.

“Declan, I’m going to—”

I yelp, my head spinning because he flips us over, and I’m on all fours now. He yanks my hips up. He slams into me from behind so hard, my face deep-dives into the mattress. “Not yet,” he warns.

Jesus. As if I could… All thoughts leave my mind, because he sets such a punishing tempo I hang on for dear life. Declan rams into me without mercy, and fuck, I love it.

He builds me up again so fast, I clench around him just to cope with the overwhelming force of everything—his body, my arousal, his words.

“Please,” I chant, not even sure what I’m pleading.

He snakes his arm around me and pinches my clit, and I clench around him on instinct. “Come for me, Lily. Milk me dry.”

The wave of complete oblivion takes me by surprise, and I scream something unintelligible. Declan doesn’t stop his thrusts, prolonging my orgasm while I go numb with pleasure.

I’m boneless in his arms when he halts and groans, while his cock jerks inside me as he finds his own release. He collapses on top of me, hovering on his elbows.

“Confession,” he pants, planting kisses on my shoulders.

“I’m pretty sure you fried my brain, so say whatever you want.” I kiss his biceps, because that’s about the range of movement I can muster .

“I was hoping one time would be enough to get you out of my system.”

I bite his biceps. “You were also hoping you could resist this, so I guess when it comes to the two of us, our preconceptions are wrong.”

Somehow, he flips us again. The lounger isn’t wide enough, so he arranges me on top of him and kisses my crown. “Thank God for that. This might be the only time in my life I’m fucking glad I lost control.”