Page 36 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

“I’m all wet for you, Declan,” she breathes into the phone, and drops it to the bed. “And mad. Really mad at you, but you’re going to make me come over that line so I can work through my anger.” She must be on speaker now. Both her hands roam up her thighs.

“Of course, baby.”

“But you can’t touch yourself. This is for me.” She peels off her panties.

“How do you know—”

“Promise me.” She opens her legs, and my cock pushes against my zipper painfully.

“I promise,” I grit out .

She hums contentedly. “I need this, Declan.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. “Can you spread wider for me?”

She scoots her heels closer to her ass and opens her knees.

I grip the armrests.

“Touch yourself, give your clit attention. You’re so fucking beautiful, Lily.”

Her hand inches between her thighs, and the moan that comes out of her when she massages herself is almost my undoing.

“How does it feel?” I rasp.

“So good,” she mews.

The sound has me groaning again. “Does your pussy need to be filled? Is it quivering with that need?” The words scratch my throat, barely passing through.

“Yes. I want you to fill me.”

“Imagine it’s my hand, Seagull—where would you want it?”

She thrusts her fingers inside herself, and her back arches off the bed.

Fuuuuuuuuck.

I stand up, hoping a few paces back and forth will help my throbbing situation.

“Declan,” Lily breathes out, her voice both wanton and innocent. So vulnerable, and yet so beautifully strong .

“My other hand would be squeezing those beautiful tits of yours. Give your nipples some love.” I sit back down, unable to move anymore.

She keeps fucking her hand and reaches to squeeze her breast through her T-shirt. She groans and pinches her nipple between her fingers.

“Tell me how you feel, baby.” I don’t even recognize my voice. I lean back, spreading my legs, but that gives me no relief.

“It’s not enough. Your monstrous cock ruined this for me,” she whimpers.

And while I want her to find her release, the idea that she needs me now to get there makes me grow a few inches. Figuratively, but also painfully real behind my zipper. I groan again.

“Fuck it.” Lily sits up and reaches for her drawer. She takes something out.

Flipping to all fours, she juts her ass up as she shoves a fucking dildo into herself.

“Fuck, Lily, you’re killing me here.”

She rides the toy, and I reach into my pants. Not to break my word, just to give myself a squeeze. It only makes things worse, but I promised, so now I suffer.

“You should see yourself, Lily. Finish for me.”

“I-am-I-am-close.”

“That’s my girl. Turn to me. I want to see your face. ”

She shuffles around and leans back on her haunches, thrusting up and down while she looks into the camera.

She cries out, closing her eyes. Her head falls back, the pleasure raking through her body. She’s always been beautiful to me, but in this moment… I fucking screenshot the beauty.

The toy falls from her hands, and she collapses to the mattress, a smile lingering on her face.

Beethoven’s Für Elise echoes around the house when I arrive. Zach has soccer and Zoya has ballet, so Lily must be with one of them. I came early to surprise them when they returned home. Did I get the days wrong?

I drop the keys and enter the living room to find Lily and Zach behind the piano. I stop in my tracks, first hit by the sight of her. She’s smiling and nodding to the rhythm.

The sun bathes the room, illuminating her face as she’s looking at my son with pride and affection. The image gets stuck in my throat, making it difficult to swallow.

But it’s Zach’s perfect, flawless rendition of the classic that shocks me even more. My son plays the piano?

Instead of soccer?

Behind my back?

I’m hit with so many conflicting emotions, I clench my fists. While the music reverberates around the room, the prevailing one is pride. He’s really good.

Zach hits the last notes, and Lily claps. “This was really good. I’m so proud of you, young man.”

“I agree, it was really good,” I say.

“Dad.” Zach scrambles to stand up, his eyes wide.

“You’re home early.” Lily moves to stand in front of Zach. Not covering him, but clearly getting ready to protect him.

I want to kiss the hell out of her for that.

But does she really think he needs protecting? From me?

“It was amazing, buddy. I didn’t know you played. Who taught you?” I cross the room and sit on the vacated piano bench, patting it for him to sit as well.

In the periphery, I see Lily pulling at her sleeves, stepping back, and then returning to stay close.

“Lily taught me. Are you mad?” Zach looks at me, the initial guilt in his eyes gone, replaced by a challenge.

“I’m not mad that you are this good at playing the piano. It’s extraordinary that you managed this at such a young age, and in such a short time.”

His face lights up, but then he remembers the circumstances, and his shoulders sag. “But you’re mad I skipped the practice.”

“I’m not mad at you, Zach. But we will need to address your training absence with your coach. Why don’t you go to your room while I talk to Lily, and when Zoya comes home we’ll go for sushi.”

His eyes widen with excitement. “But it’s not a sushi night.”

Don’t I know it? “We can still go.” I ruffle his hair.

“Cool.” He gives me a quick hug and leaves.

I stand up, and Lily steps back. Is she afraid of me?

“Dad,” Zach calls from the stairs, “don’t be mad at Lily. She really is an excellent piano teacher.”

“Good to know.” I wait for him to turn the corner before I look back at her.

There is fire in her eyes. “Before you talk to him about his responsibility to his team, or not giving up, please hear me out.”

I fold my arms. “I’m listening.”

She jerks her head, blinking a few times like she didn’t expect me to let her talk. Then she squares her shoulders. She is still pulling at her sleeves, though.

“He is really good, and he enjoys it… Unlike soccer. I don’t think his talent and interest should be ig nored… And why does he have to play soccer? Is it some sort of stereotypical, macho thing? Because I think—”

“Stop blabbering, because I will take you over my knee.”

Her eyes widen. “You heard him play.”

“Yes, I did, and I agree he’s really good. But he is my son, and you decided that going behind my back and skipping his soccer practice is a good thing. You should have talked to me.”

“And you would have said that soccer is on the schedule, and it’s responsible to do it.”

“It is responsible to finish what you started.”

“I agree. And it’s also healthy and responsible to accept when it’s time to let something go.

To make room for something new. Let me ask you, is this really about him being responsible and acting with integrity toward the team, or is it about your convenience?

You drew up his schedule to fit yours, and the idea of changing it is unacceptable to you. ”

I step closer to her, crowding her. Her back hits the piano. “You know nothing about the past six years when I was trying to figure out how to do this.”

“I can only imagine how hard that was, and it will be for a while, but sticking to your set routine sometimes makes you miss other things in life. You need predictability, I get it. But life is not always predictable.”

She touches my ribs, the warmth of her palm burning through my shirt.

That simple gesture almost clears the contradiction in my head. Almost. I open my mouth, but she’s not done.

“And what difference does it make to your schedule if he’s at soccer or practicing piano? Not much changes for you. Only your son will be happier.”

I seize her lips. She stiffens for a beat before she opens up for me. I kiss her to punish her, and to reward her at the same time. I kiss her to punish me. I kiss her because I’m not good with words.

I kiss her because I want to. Because she is mine. Well, I want her to be mine.

“Declan…” she breathes. “Zach is upstairs.”

Reluctantly, I step back. “I don’t like that you went behind my back.”

“I’m sorry I did. I thought that if you heard him play, you would understand—”

“I understand.” I nod, not yet ready to acknowledge her accusation about my convenience driving my decisions about the kids. “You still shouldn’t have done this behind my back.”

“Hello, kettle?” She deadpans and looks up at one of the cameras .

I sigh, closing my eyes briefly. “That’s—”

“Don’t say that’s different. My secret brought joy to your child, and I didn’t believe he had a chance to practice if we talked to you.”

I sigh. “My secret brought you joy today.”

“My vibrator brought me that joy.” She folds her arms. “Joy that is still tainted because you invaded my privacy—”

I cup the back of her neck. “It was wrong. But the need behind it was—is—real. I can’t help myself around you.

You’ve stripped me of control, of reason, of sanity.

I know it’s not an excuse, but I need you to understand I’ve never acted like this before.

And a part of me isn’t even sorry, because the need to own you, to own every minute of your day is all-consuming. ”

She stares at me wide-eyed. She’s going to bolt now, but the thought doesn’t stop me.

I continue, “I recognize that invading your privacy is the lowest of the low, and you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry, Lily. I will never do it again.”

She licks her lips, her chest heaving. She hasn’t stormed out yet, and I don’t think I would let her. Fuck, now I’m not only a stalker, but a kidnapper?

“I will never do it again,” I repeat when the storm behind her eyes continues, but she doesn’t say anything .

A blush covers her face and neck. She swallows and takes a deep breath in. I brace for the end of us.

“I’m not sure if I want you to stop.”

Out of all the things she could have said. “Seagull?”

“I’m mad at you, but the idea of you watching me arouses me. Is that wrong?” She looks away. Is she embarrassed?

“At the risk of repeating myself, can you be any more perfect?” I lower my lips to hers. “It’s not wrong. Not at all.”

“It was wrong that you were doing it without my consent.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Does it arouse you, watching me sit around?”

“Your existence arouses me. I’m walking around half-hard like a teenager most of the time. Watching you gives me a sense of… I don’t know; maybe it’s my need for control that takes over. I haven’t watched you since the gala night though, but I missed you today. Today, you aroused me. Painfully so.”

“But today I gave you a show.” She smiles, the wanton confidence fusing with her blushing innocence.

“And what a show it was. Maybe we just discovered our kink.” I tuck a loose strand behind her ear. Her hair is long enough now to be in a short ponytail. I like it off her face. I like her without the fake glasses.

“What are we doing, Declan?”

“Being happy.”

In that moment, I want to plan my future with this woman, hoping she can forgive all my deceit as easily as she did this time. And blissfully unaware that the end of us is lurking around the corner.