Page 47 of A Convenient Secret (Merged #3)

Lily

“ W e should have never gone to the park,” Declan growls as we get into the waiting car. He doesn’t look at me, but I know that right now, in this moment, he’s blaming me.

He’s blinded by rage and worry, but if I’m honest, I shouldn’t have suggested the outing. I was really hoping that we could defy the odds and coexist with the sensation-thirsty reporters.

Zoya is clinging to me while Zach, nestled in Declan’s lap, his lips pursed, puts on a brave face. His wrist is huge, and I try to be strong for all of them, but tears stream down my cheeks, regardless.

This just proved that living in secret was safer for everyone. In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have imagined that the kids would suffer this much .

Declan doesn’t look at me. His chin rests on Zach’s head as he stares into empty space. The silence in the car is coiling around my frayed nerves. My chest hurts as the emotions coat my throat, making it difficult to swallow.

Declan calls his mom who is on the board of the hospital, and once we arrive we’re immediately ushered into a private wing.

We move swiftly through the eerily quiet hallways, our steps on the pristine white floors almost obnoxiously squeaky.

A nurse shows us the exam room, and Declan turns to me. “Stay with Zoya.” His voice is flat, his face unreadable.

I nod, swallowing down the ache in my chest as I squat beside Zoya, who buries her face in my neck. Her little fingers clutch my sleeve, her breath warm against my skin.

“Will he be okay?” Zoya’s usually boisterous voice is small.

“Yes, he might need a cast, but I’m sure he will be okay. Are you okay?”

“They didn’t mind theiw business.” She sighs.

“They didn’t.” I kiss her crown.

“If he gets a cast, can he still fly to London?” She looks at me with those huge, curious eyes.

Shit. I didn’t even think of that. “Let’s see what the doctor says first.”

Declan wheels Zach out of the exam room. “He needs an X-ray,” he explains, his voice on edge, his jaw rigid.

“Zach.” Zoya rushes to her brother.

“Don’t worry, Zoya, I’m fine,” Zach says, wincing a bit. Like his father, he’s already learning to bear pain in silence.

“I want a chaiw like that.” Zoya looks at her father.

“Stay with Lily, Zoya,” Declan says. “Zach needs the chair now.” He veers to follow a nurse.

Letting out a shaky breath, my heart breaks for both of them as I watch Declan’s broad shoulders disappear down the hall.

“Do you want a chocolate bar?” I turn to Zoya.

“We should get one fow Zach and Daddy.”

“Great idea.”

As I take her hand, my phone rings. “Give me a moment, sweetheart.”

I answer, and my aunt’s sharp voice sends chills down my spine. “You can congratulate yourself, Liliana; you’ve really done it now.”

“I really don’t have time to talk.” I close my eyes briefly, turning to the window.

“Your antics gave your father a heart attack,” she says.

The hospital air suddenly feels too thick, too sterile, pressing in on me from all sides.

I can’t move.

I can’t breathe.

I force myself to respond. “Is he… alive?”

“Yes, he’s strong as a bull,” she says, her tone carrying a hint of disappointment. The breath I finally suck in is shallow and painful.

This can’t be happening. Not now. “Thank you for letting me know.” I end the call, my hands shaking as I shove them into the pocket of my summer dress.

The double doors swing open, and Declan steps back. “He’s getting his cast. Where is Zoya?”

I whip around. “Zoya?” I say, uselessly.

“Where is she?” Declan roars.

“I took a phone call… She must be somewhere here…” I dash down the corridor, opening the doors.

“You were supposed to watch her,” Declan accuses me.

This is too much. I reach the corner, and my heart almost bursts out of my chest. “Zoya.”

“I found the chocolate baws.” She waves at me, standing in front of a vending machine.

Declan passes me, rushing to her. “You can’t wander off like this.”

“We wanted to get tweats fow you, Daddy.”

Her adorable innocence breaks something inside me, and I lean against the wall, tears rolling down my cheeks.

For Zach. For Zoya. For my father.

For Declan. For us.

I sense their approach, and I quickly wipe away the tears.

“We got one fow you, Lily.” My precious girl hands me a bar.

“Thank you.” My voice cracks.

Declan’s gaze flicks at me. He sighs and stops, not too close, not touching me.

“My father is in the hospital. He had a heart attack,” I whisper.

“Fuck,” he murmurs.

“Money in the jaw,” Zoya chimes. “Whewe is Zach?”

Declan takes her hand and heads toward the exam room. I follow him, my mind blank. It’s like a freight train ran over me, leaving me completely flat. Exhausted by everything, the emotional turmoil of the past few hours is taking its toll.

I search for sadness, anger, frustration, but I’m only numb. Hollow. Declan was barely holding it together this past week, and I guess he reached his limit. I wish I could fight for us.

But this is not the time. He needs to be here for his children. Zach is hurt; they are both shaken up after the incident. This is where he needs to be, and suddenly, I don’t feel like I belong.

The double door opens yet again, and the nurse wheels Zach in. He looks groggy, but gives us a curt nod. That’s almost like a smile for the little dude.

“How are you, Zach?” I try to smile, ignoring my ripped heart.

“I got a cast,” he says with a sense of pride, like it’s his battlefield trophy, but his voice is tired too.

They show us to a room and help Zach settle in the bed. Zoya hangs from the edge, on her belly, examining his cast, her legs dangling.

“A word,” Declan says, not even looking at me. “We’ll be right back,” he tells the kids.

Stepping outside, I place my foot on the floor gingerly as if it could explode at any moment.

“The jet is ready to leave at ten tomorrow. Just take it.”

It takes me a second to process what he means.

The jet?

Declan puts his hands into his pockets, his voice clipped, professional—like he’s giving instructions to a business associate. “Just say goodbye to the kids before you go.”

I stare at him, waiting for something.

A flicker of hesitation .

A crack in his armor.

A sign that he doesn’t want me to leave.

But there’s nothing.

He doesn’t even look at me.

“Declan.”

“What do you want me to say? You need to go and be with your father. I need to be with my son. With both my kids who went through a fucked-up, unnecessary experience today.”

“What about us?” My voice cracks. Somewhere in the background of my tired mind, I recognize this is just the circumstances and his rage talking.

But his icy demeanor hurts. The mask is up. The wall is erected. The armor is fully in place. There is no space for more variables in his life.

He needs control, and I wreaked chaos on his carefully planned life. And to his credit, he tried to adjust.

“I need to talk to Zach’s doctor. Go say goodbye to the kids.” He turns and leaves me there standing, my heart shattered.

There is no point in trying to stop him. He’s made up his mind. At least, in the current state of said mind.

But I need to see my father before it’s too late, so I take a deep breath and return to the room.

I sit on the bed, patting Zach’s leg. “Are you in pain?”

“Not much,” he says bravely .

“Whewe is Daddy?” Zoya looks over her shoulder at the door.

Poor babies, they had quite a scare. Suddenly, one emotion overpowers the numb feeling of loss and heartbreak, and I get so angry at the reporters, I have to stand up and walk to the window to breathe through the outrage.

“He went to talk to the doctor, to see when we can go home.”

Home. I hope it still is my home.

Returning to the bed, my barely found composure cracks a little when I glimpse the bodyguard through the glass pane in the door. I didn’t even notice him earlier, but of course he’s here. He’ll become a permanent fixture to protect this family.

All because of me.

“I need to tell you something.” My voice quivers.

They both look at me, their eyes full of trust.

I force a smile. “I have to go away for a little while.”

Zach tenses, and his fingers running over the cast freeze. I see the wheels turning in his head, processing. He looks away, his jaw tense. I can practically see how he withdraws.

“For how long?” His voice is cautious, controlled, like he already knows he won’t like the answer.

I inhale through my nose, blinking against the sting in my eyes. “I don’t know, sweetheart. ”

“You can’t go!” Zoya’s voice is high-pitched, frantic, her small hands gripping the fabric of my dress like she can hold me in place. “You live with us now.”

Oh, my poor heart.

Zach looks at me, but there is no warmth in his eyes. “Are you coming back?”

Before I can answer, his sister’s tiny body collides into my side, nearly knocking me over. I press a kiss into Zoya’s hair, my throat so tight I can barely breathe. “My daddy is sick. And I have to go help him.”

Zoya sniffs loudly, hiccupping. “But why can’t someone else help him? You awe helping us.”

I squeeze her, my arms wrapping tight around her tiny frame. “Because sometimes, when you love someone, you have to be there for them. Just like your daddy is always here for you.”

Zach watches me closely. I can see the way his mind is working through it, trying to find the cracks in my explanation.

“And you can’t help him from here?” His voice is quiet but sharp.

At least he doesn’t repeat his previous question. I can’t lie to them, but I can’t promise them I’ll be back. If their father doesn’t want me back? For the first time, I grasp the enormity of potentially losing them.

I shake my head, brushing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Not this time. ”

His lips press into a hard line, and I see it—the walls going up. “People always leave,” he mutters.

The words crack through me like an icicle, shattering me into pieces.