Page 5 of A Certain Step (Midnights at Pemberley #1)

ETHAN

E than appreciated many things about Willa, and he especially appreciated the way she moved her body. As a dance captain — or co-captain, rather, as she shared the title with Miles Dahl — she was transformative in her coaching.

“Let’s take it from the top with ‘Marry Me’.

Naomi, your form is excellent, but Ethan, I need you to make the grip on her arm more believable.

Darcy’s proposal has to come off too strong—too brash.

The edge is there in your voice, but your movements are a bit on the graceful side today,” Willa called out.

Ethan nodded, positioning himself to face Naomi again.

He placed his hand underneath her chin, waiting for the orchestra to begin the charged opening notes of the number. Wait, stop—there’s something I need to say, he sang.

What is it you want from me? Naomi belted out, Elizabeth’s frustration pushing through.

They moved and meandered in their blocked space, voices blending together. Then Ethan gripped onto her forearm, using his physicality and facial cues to make it appear tighter .

“Yes! Perfect! Just like that,” Willa shouted through the melody.

It was a good thing that “Marry Me” fell right before intermission because the intensity of the number drained Ethan in a way nothing in his career ever had.

From the use of the gruffest parts of his vocal cords to the movements in the choreography, his body could have given out if he hadn’t trained so vigorously for it.

It was both depleting and rewarding to experience something like it as an artist. He knew as much, and he was grateful for it.

When they came to a stop and parted after the kiss, he briefly angled his head toward Willa’s gaze. A smile rose on her lips.

His eyes mapped out Willa’s curves, which were accentuated by her fitted taupe workout set. Ethan wanted to drag his hands along the hard planes of her abs. His lips and teeth, too.

He thought about what it would be like if she ever went on as Elizabeth, knowing how rare it would be because Lea Driver, Naomi’s sister, was the role’s standby. He imagined trailing his lips along Willa’s neck, up toward her mouth. He shouldn’t think any of these things about her, and yet…

The past few days since Willa’s return from England made him feel foolish: two whole nights spent doing a puzzle together, takeout meals, and one too many instances of catching himself staring.

He was so raptly tuned into everything she did, so incontestably besotted that he didn’t know what to do with himself.

He couldn’t stop himself from wanting her, determinedly attempting to push aside those thoughts, knowing she wasn’t interested in him like that.

Despite his efforts to ignore Sam and Declan’s pestering, they were right. Ethan was a goner. He liked Willa far more than he ever thou ght possible. Being around her day and night fueled him, both on and off the stage.

She made him a better person and a better performer, too.

“Incredible, team,” stage manager Dina Rollins noted. “Take five.”

Ethan sauntered over to the edge of the stage and sat down. Willa jumped down and strolled to Sahar, Tanya, and Innila, who sat in the orchestra’s first row.

He wanted her to look at him again. He wanted to ask her to come over tonight, eat takeout Chinese food, and continue Peaky Blinders .

Declan crept beside him, resting his head on Ethan’s shoulder. “You’re in a daze, lover boy,” he said, low enough so no one else would hear.

Ethan shrugged him away. “Fuck off. No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are, boo,” Declan remarked, then snorted loudly. It made Willa look, a smile dancing across her face. She turned and walked back to them.

Thankfully, Declan would never say anything near her. He had too much respect for Willa—too much respect for both of them unless it came to hounding Ethan in private.

She stood in front of them. “You’re smashing the new bits of the choreography Josie implemented. I’m so damn proud of you.”

“I’m also proud of you,” Declan added.

His face heated a bit. “Thanks, Wills. You too, Dec.”

Declan smacked Ethan’s back flippantly and stood up. “I’m going to call my wife ,” he emphasized.

Ethan suppressed an eye roll, sure of the fact that the overt use of the words “my wife” was on purpose .

He stretched out his hands to lock his fingers with Willa’s. Were other friends like this? Did they touch each other this freely?

She was like gravity sometimes. No matter how hard he tried to fight, he couldn’t prevent the steps his body took to be near her.

“Come over tonight after rehearsals for Chinese and Peaky Blinders? ” he suggested.

“Can we do tomorrow instead? Prissy little prick is being extra shitty to Sahar. We’re going out with the girls tonight.”

He nodded. “Yeah, of course. Is she okay?”

“We’ll make sure she is,” Willa answered, determination present in her voice.

Ethan pulled her closer to him with his hands entangled in hers, rocking her back and forth. “You really mean what you said about the choreography?”

Willa squeezed his hands, leaning forward into the space between them. “Would I ever lie to you?”

“No, but you could be sparing my feelings, settling for mediocre.”

“I wouldn’t. I’d offer to work with you if I thought you needed more training, but you’re doing great. You’re in your head about it. Get out.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled and released her fingers from his, pushing herself up on the stage with a swift and easy hop. Ethan turned to face her, swinging his legs back onto the stage. Willa placed her hands in front of his, and he took them again, all sorts of emotions coursing through his veins.

She tugged him up, released her grip, and bumped her hip against his.

Ethan enfolded his arms around her waist and spun her, prompting a low, startled giggle to rush out of her. Deftly, he swung her over his shoulder and carried her to the position she’d have to be in for the next number.

Moving like this was never seamless for Ethan.

He had rhythm and could learn a dance routine with enough practice, but someone as talented as Willa made it easier for him to try more impromptu steps.

Months of practicing and standing in with her while she made up dances for fun improved his form spectacularly.

Or, maybe her body was meant to be in motion with his.

It almost felt instinctual in a way he only ever mastered with his voice and acting. Spinning someone else felt awkward if he had not rehearsed it.

She bowed dramatically. “Thanks for the lift. The effort it would have taken to walk this distance felt monumental.”

Ethan shook his head and laughed, stepping into the wings where he’d have the complete view of her during “Forbidden Corridors”—the most erotic part of the show. He shouldn’t watch. The last few rehearsals proved he was too enraptured to make it through the entire thing without growing hard.

He should turn away. But God help him, watching Willa lunge against a ladder, move, and twist through the space occupying the very reason for the show’s title was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen.

It wasn’t until he understood the depth of his feelings that everything that happened in this number ripped him to shreds from the inside.

Ethan would give his whole being to be on the receiving end of each move. He would treasure her facial expressions while standing in front of her, instead of watching from behind. He berated himself for it. He shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts about his best friend.

He turned away as she lay on the ground, hands splayed across her breasts. He knew what would come next. She’d thrust her hips and move her hands lower and lower to where his gaze shouldn’t follow. In a few beats, Miles would join as her partner in the number. He had to look away.

Thank heavens, Darcy was nowhere to be found in this scene, so Ethan could avoid this number altogether during live performances . He mostly did during the tryouts, but even seeing Willa quickly run by him in the leather cut-out leotard was enough to make him lose his mind.

He took deep, steady breaths, forcing his mind to trail elsewhere.

He thought of the boiled chicken he had to feed his cat two nights ago for her stomach, trying to recall the foul smell he couldn’t stand.

He focused his attention on the larger-than-normal rat that nearly had a staring contest with him this morning at the subway station.

Mushy vegetables, soggy fries, feathers of any kind, sounds at the dentist, the smell of apple cider vinegar, people who chewed loudly, slow walkers…

The worst things were far better than thinking about Willa in leather. Willa and her pretty eyes and her wildly brilliant laugh and all the ways he could love her.

Focus. What is wrong with you?

Declan made his way into the wings with him, leaning back against the opposite side of the wall.

Part of “Forbidden Corridors” meant that Elizabeth would catch Wickham with two women here, learning that he wasn’t who he said he was.

He’d run out of the scene when it happened, reappearing only after the off-stage marriage with Lydia.

“I don’t know how the hell the ensemble pulls through this entire number. They’re such legends. I feel like I’m dying every time,” he joked breathlessly.

Ethan snorted a laugh. “What blows my mind is how flexible they are.”

What blows my mind is how flexible she is. He kept that thought to himself.

Declan agreed, still heaving.

“Bro, you’re lucky you don’t have to do anything else for three more songs,” Ethan said.

Declan bobbed his head. “Don’t I know it? Oh, listen, you still down to come with me to my buddy’s show on Sunday? ”

“Yeah, is Sam coming, too? Or is it just us?”

“Us and Miles.”

“Cool, cool. I’m psyched.”

Declan grinned ghoulishly. “My hero,” he declared.

“Am I not always your hero?”

“Naw, only when you do things for me.”

Ethan shook his head back and forth. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m tired, so I’ll let you have that,” he said, sliding down onto the ground.

Ethan chuckled, then quickly averted his eyes to the stage, noticing the number’s approaching ending.

Since the number sped up and the ensemble moved around the entire stage instead of staying in the marks where they began, at this point, Ethan couldn’t spot Willa as easily.

Good, because he needed to calm himself down still.

Rehearsals took an hour longer than usual, and by the time it ended, he was exhausted and thrilled, nevertheless.

Though so much was heightened by Midnights at Pemberley’s scale, the juxtaposition of being tired and fulfilled would always be one of his favorite things about being in a Broadway musical.

It’s why the couch in his dressing room, where he would unwind with Willa, had become such a comforting fortress.

The secluded little space they often occupied together stretched out to develop into something bigger, better.

She was standing a few feet ahead of him at the stage door, hands animated in a conversation with Christian and Miles.

She stepped forward when she spotted Ethan, hugged them both jointly, and then hurried over to him.

She smiled when she got closer. “Okay, so girl’s night turned into everyone is coming. Sam and Priya are meeting us there, and so are Miles and Christian now. Would you come, too? ”

“Sure, what time?” he asked.

“Seven. We don’t plan on staying long since we’re all tired, but it’s something to do,” she specified.

He angled his wrist up and glanced at his watch. Three hours from now. That was doable. “Yeah, sounds good.” The dimples in her cheeks surfaced as her smile grew into an excited expression. It was bolstering for him to know that, if nothing else, she cared for his presence as much as he did hers.

It was comforting to understand that even if she never felt the way he did, she still appreciated spending time with him.

She wanted to include him in her plans.

She wanted him around.

That would have to be enough.