Page 29 of A Certain Step (Midnights at Pemberley #1)

“I told you that?”

He shook his head. “No, I just assumed since you usually have the soap in your bathroom and the candles burning when I’m over.”

Huh. Christ, he had been observant, and it sent a prickle of elation down her spine.

“Your assumption is correct. You can thank Beatrix Davidian for that—we have lilac trees in our backyard, and she stops to smell them every time we pass one. She also keeps candles around for when they aren’t in bloom.”

His lips curved into a sweet, satisfied smile. “I’ll jot that down for when I eventually meet her.” He rose from her seat, and she swapped with him, turning to pet Tulip as he left to shower.

She browsed through the comments Sahar had curated, then finally braced herself to open social media and focus only on the messages and tags from people she knew and followed.

Clicking through their stories one by one, she saw that all their cast members had shared the photograph Sahar had posted on her feed.

She sent each of them a small reply and commented underneath the actual photo with, “I love you to the bloody moon, you bewitching creature.” She refreshed the app, noticing Ethan’s icon (an unfairly hot promotional still of him as Darcy) pop up with a new story.

He had also shared Sahar’s post ten minutes ago while she’d been in the shower.

Proud and grateful to share the stage with an absolute powerhouse of a performer and my best friend.

She turned to Tulip, who was now on her back, paws in mid-air, belly up.

“He’s something, isn’t he, girl? How do I not fall madly in love with a man like that?

” she added, rubbing the spot underneath Tulip’s chin.

She replied to Ethan’s story with a sobbing emoji and a purple heart, set her phone down, and released a purposeful exhale.

Right now, isolated and alone in his bedroom, everything felt right.

She could stay like this, in the shadows where the outside world had no say in their relationship.

But aggravating thoughts tried to crash through her barricaded happiness anyway.

People are nice right now but just wait.

The horrible comments are out there. Sahar is shielding you from them.

You don’t deserve to be up on that stage.

You haven’t earned it. You don’t deserve Ethan’s love.

You’re a nobody; he’s one of Broadway’s biggest stars.

He’ll get tired of you—your face, your body, your personality.

Whatever opportunity you get after this show, it’ll be because of Ethan, not you.

Willa shut her eyes, taking in another deep inhale and releasing a forceful exhale.

Inhale, exhale, repeat. None of that tonight— please.

The noises inside her head were too loud, too demanding.

Ethan’s neighborhood was quieter, but there should’ve been some noise still.

Where was a fire engine or loud group chattering when you needed them most?

She willed herself to focus on what she could control—the present, the truth behind Ethan’s eyes, his kindness, his friendship above all things.

How he cared for her. His innate goodness.

Then she unlocked her ph one and put The National on shuffle.

The first few notes of “You Were a Kindness” bustled through the speakers.

Appropriate and perfectly on cue, universe.

Who helped regulate an emotional downward spiral better than the Sad Dads? No one.

She looked around his room from the spot she sat in, taking note of how organized he was.

His house was always neat, but this was her first time seeing the inside of his bedroom.

The dark green walls were a pleasant touch, and most of his mahogany furniture had a homey feel.

He had more things in his living room than in the bedroom, but a scenic painting of Italy hung above his bed.

Ethan ambled back in just as the song ended and switched to “Light Years.” He wore his glasses again, stimulating a somersault in her chest and a massive grin over which she had zero control. At least she didn’t have to hide it now.

He arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“Did I ever tell you I have a thing for men in glasses?”

The most enchanting chuckle escaped his throat, a wildly picturesque smile on full display. “What else do you have a thing for?”

She rose from the footboard bench. “Forearms.”

He took in her words, eyes darting up and down her frame. “You already told me that one. What else?”

She smiled. “That’s all you’re getting now.”

“I’ll take it. Which side of the bed do you want?”

“Whichever one you don’t usually sleep on?”

“The right.”

“Works for me. If murderers come in, they’re taking you first.”

He laughed, drawing the covers and handing her a new pillowcase that’d been sitting atop them.

“Are you a blanket hog?” he asked .

“Not that I know of. Do you snore?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never been told I do, so I’m going to say no.”

“We’ll see,” she drew her shoulders inward a bit, “I…I, uh, might kick you.”

His eyes widened adorably. “Aha, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve uncovered a flaw. And you were worried about Tulip causing problems.”

She tried not to smirk. “ Sometimes, I talk…”

“Now that I can’t wait for,” he emphasized with a sly smile.

He kicked off his socks and got underneath the covers; Tulip made her way to a spot next to his feet.

“Does she not go up higher?” Willa asked.

“Only in the morning if I snooze my alarm. Sometimes, she’ll go to the living room in the middle of the night. Depends on her mood.”

Willa joined him in bed, sat upright, and stared at him. The whirlwind of tonight’s revelations dawned on her once more, flirty banter taking a backseat to trepidation.

He must’ve noticed the change in her expression because he straightened in his reclined position immediately. “Willa?”

She was fine. She would be fine. This was Ethan. She was safe with him. She’d always be safe with him. “Right, sorry. I’m okay. I just…it keeps hitting me that we’re doing this, and I start freaking out.”

He took her hand in his, sweeping his thumb against her knuckles. “What are you freaking out about? How can I help?”

She blinked rapidly, trying to steady her heartbeat. “I’m okay. I promise. It’s just—it’s you and me and this. I’m not used to it, but I want it. My brain is going to illogical places.”

“I can still go to the couch. I promise I don’t mind. I’ve fallen asleep there countless times. It’s comfortable.”

She shook her head. “No, I want you with me. Welcome to my brain. One minute, it ’s fine, and the next, it’s conjured up a zillion scenarios that make no sense.”

He drew his lips to her palm and kissed her there. Another at her wrist. “You can talk to me about those scenarios, too.”

“Yeah, I’d rather we not go there,” she admitted.

He drew his lips higher, kissing along her forearm, up toward her bicep.

She smiled easily, allowing herself to focus on the man sitting before her. Ethan kissed her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she felt it every time his mouth touched her somewhere.

“I’m not going to wake up with both you and your cat spooning me in the middle of the night, am I?” she asked.

He laughed, placing kisses along her neck now. “I don’t move at night unless I need to actually get up. So, no, but if you want me to, come closer.”

She raised an eyebrow. “How do you not move?”

“Some of us don’t do acrobatics in our sleep.”

Valid. “Do you dream?”

“Occasionally,” he answered.

Willa bobbed her head up and down repeatedly, taking it all in. “This arrangement could work for me personally, not sure about you.”

He smiled and tipped his head higher, pressing his lips softly to her temple. “Kick me all you want, Wills, just stay.”

“What time are you going to the gym tomorrow? I’m assuming you’re not missing another day,” she added.

“Seven. Want to come with?”

“Nope, but I’ll head out with you and go home.”

He made the silliest pouting face, an expression she didn’t know he was capable of. “I won’t be long. We can go get breakfast afterward. ”

“Let’s do lunch instead? I should do laundry, and I’ll probably try to get some extra runs of the numbers just in case.”

“Sure. Did you want something specific?”

“Yes, I thought about the jalapeno poppers at Blazing Salmon earlier today, so now I need them.”

He nodded, his face so serene and welcoming, so effortless to look at and want. “Sushi it is then. Twelve-thirty?”

She slid under the covers and positioned herself comfortably on the pillow. “Works for me.”

Ethan removed his glasses, set them on his bedside table, and did the same.

Willa looked at him for a beat, lingering for a few moments longer than she should’ve.

She wanted to say more and fight against the exhaustion that was taking over her.

She wanted to say that maybe she’d be okay with him holding her.

But she settled with, “Goodnight, Ethan.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

She could get used to this, comfortably shutting her eyes next to her best friend after a wildly sweet endearment left his lips.