Page 13 of A Certain Step (Midnights at Pemberley #1)

“I’m fine. I just need to mentally prepare myself in case he notices me. I’m the on e who broke up with him, but it wasn’t pleasant. He’s not dangerous or anything like that, just a dick. And in all honesty, I’m disgusted by him.”

Ethan’s eyes darted back toward the opening door. Sahar walked out to them. “Oh my God. Willa?”

Ethan moved a little. Willa looked at Sahar. “Did you see?”

“Yup, I tried to find you, but when I noticed you and Ethan were gone, I figured you’d be out here. I’m going ram my fist into his throat. See how he—” She stopped mid-sentence, likely and thankfully remembering that Ethan didn’t know about what led to their breakup.

“Maybe let’s not ruin Miles’ night with you getting arrested?”

Sahar’s fury was palpable, heat nearly sizzling from her eyes in a cartoonish way. “I will say something if he even dares to look in your direction,” she countered.

“You will say nothing; we’re going to play it cool and hope that he’s too stubborn to even come near me.”

“And what if he does?” Sahar asked.

Willa shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll be fine. I just need to get over the shock of seeing him.”

Sahar sighed and nodded with understanding. “I’m so sorry. I wish you hadn’t.”

“Yet, here we are,” Willa declared.

Sahar took her hand and squeezed it. “Okay, I’m going to go inside, and I promise to behave myself. Come back whenever you’re ready. Or if you need to leave, I’m sure Miles will get it.”

Willa looked back at Ethan when Sahar left, his gaze so intensely fixed on her that it was concerning. “You don’t have to tell me what he did, Willa, but…” he swallowed. “Sahar’s response…that isn’t the kind of reaction a friend has just because someone was an asshole. Did he hurt you?”

A giant lump formed in her lungs, extending up toward her throat. “You know Sahar. She gets like that even while gaming. ”

“I know she’s passionate, but that was something else.” She could recognize all of Ethan’s smiles, every one of his tired expressions, his frustrations, his excitement, but the look on his face right now was new. She hated it. She hated being the reason for it.

She also didn’t know how to answer him. She didn’t want to make the situation worse, but as close as she and Ethan were, she couldn’t tell him about her one, horribly failed attempt at doing something with a man that went beyond kissing. Their friendship had few barriers, and this was one of them.

“He didn’t hurt me. At least not in the way you’re probably thinking.

He just…” she questioned how she could tell him a portion of the truth without disclosing all the details.

She’d have to share this again someday, likely with a future partner if she ever found someone she wanted to be intimate with.

How she wished for a moment that it could be Ethan.

“Let’s just say he was under the impression that demisexuality was a made-up construct and thought I had to ‘grow up’ for the way I reacted to him,” she said.

And yet, somehow, she did, in fact, say too much.

Ethan’s eyes darkened, fire bouncing from the streetlights above them into his sapphire hues. He remained silent for a moment, unpacking what she had said like an equation in front of his face.

“Hey,” she called out.

Ethan looked at her, his face softening slightly from the anger that had undoubtedly pooled through him.

She brushed her hand along his bicep. “I’m good, I promise. It’s just ghastly to see him after all this time.”

Willa hadn’t seen Alden since their second to last rehearsal before starting the show in Boston, which was almost two years ago now.

They didn’t run in the same circles; they’d met at a bar, which was a seemingly cute occurrence where he spilled his drink all over her and t hen asked to make it up to her with dinner.

He had been an absolute sweetheart until his true colors appeared when he grew tired of waiting until she was ready to fuck him.

“You sure? We could leave if you want. Sahar is right; Miles wouldn’t mind if he knew.”

“No. I’m not letting him ruin a perfectly good night with my favorite people,” she answered firmly.

Ethan nodded, the glow in his eyes making a slow return.

“Thank you for being you,” she said. No other words came to her, but she needed him to know. She was grateful for him, fully in every way.

He pulled her tightly into his arms, holding her for a quick second. “I got you, Wills. Through everything. You know that.”

She smiled up at him when they parted. “And I’ve got you. You got lucky with decent exes. I don’t have to fight any of them for your honor.”

Ethan gave her a closed-mouth smile. Wait…was she wrong? Had any of his exes hurt him in any way? He had told her that distance had broken him and Michelle up, but a hint of sadness quickly emerged in his eyes and then vanished. Was she reading into it too much?

“Ready to go back in?” he asked.

“Lead the way.”

He held the door open, walking close behind her the entire time. She felt his hand settle along the small of her back again, signaling a comfortable warmth to spread through her.

So much for her feelings for Ethan taking a night off.

But seeing Alden again was proof that Sahar was right. Despite her rules—the ones she felt she had to stick to—Ethan Everett wasn’t like other men, let alone other actors.

He most certainly wasn’t like any of the men she’d dated. But no matter what else was bubbling inside her, he was still her best friend, and she wanted that to remain unmarred.

They ambled back in, standing with their friends at the corner of the room.

Naomi and her wife, Jeanie, were telling a story about a club in Nice where a bunch of people from the States met each other.

“No, but I’d never seen a crowd like that.

I’m pretty sure we’re all bonded for life.

The whole club went to get breakfast together the next morning,” she finished.

“We need to get that crowd to a show,” Sahar added.

Naomi gaped at her. “Oh my God, I so wish.” She turned to Jeanie. “Babe, don’t like three of them live here? We should text them. Give them an invite,” she said with a laugh.

“Oh, I’m so game; let’s do it,” Jeanie replied.

Christian chimed in with a drink in hand, pinky out dramatically. “Are we talking about the club in Nice again? How many times have I said we’re not allowed to discuss this near me because the FOMO levels have become uncontrollable? I’m but a mere mortal, you heathens.”

Naomi swung her arm around his neck. “We’re going to make a couples trip out of it next year when Dan comes back. You’ll experience the whole thing with us—and you three as well. All of us. We’ll make it a celebratory Midnights thing.”

“Okay, fine, proceed with the conversation,” he gestured artistically, his hand rolling thrice.

Willa chuckled, wanting to add a comment about already prepping outfits, but right as she was about to speak, someone touched her shoulder. She swung her head back to Alden standing behind her. “Willa! Hey, you.”

She conjured an ersatz smile, pretending she hadn’t just mentally prepared for this horrendous outcome. “Alden, hey,” she said, keeping her tone casual to contrast his overly cocky approach.

He leaned in for a hug, and she met him halfway courteously. She could feel Ethan’s body tense next to her, could feel Sahar’s eyes burning a hole through her back. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, yeah, you?” she responded.

Willa was thankful that Naomi, Christian, and Jeanie were still talking about the club. She didn’t need all eyes on them.

“Oh, you know, same old. Working a ton.” She wanted to laugh. The bloke worked at his dad’s company and could take days off whenever he wanted to. He always made it seem like he was saving lives when he’d discuss his job.

“Aren’t we all?” she replied, pausing to muster another grin while attempting to cut the conversation short. “It was good seeing you,” she commented.

He poked Willa’s hand with a finger. It grossed her out. “Can I buy you a drink? Let’s catch up.”

She tried to sound as sincere as possible. “Thank you, but I’m good, though.” The thing about men like Alden was that they were so stupid, so far up their own asses, that they’d never realize the effect their actions had.

He clicked his tongue. “Well, all right. Take care; it was a friendly gesture anyway. No need to take it so seriously.”

Asshole, she wanted to say, “Take care” was what thankfully came out of her mouth.

She turned back right in time to catch Sahar’s eye roll. “Was he always that stupid?”

“Honestly? I have no freaking clue, and I don’t know what that says about me,” Willa questioned.

Sahar shrugged. “That you’re human?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Willa turned back to Ethan, the crease between his eyebrows far more pronounced than she’d seen before. He was tense and rigid. Had Alden’s presence riled him this much? Fury had made its way back into his eyes with full force, making her feel guilty .

She wrapped her fingers along his forearm, drawing his eyes from throwing daggers at her ex to where she touched him. He blinked once, twice, refocusing to meet her at eye level.

She didn’t say anything. He remained silent.

The conversations around them distorted to muffles, the bass growing louder. “Are you okay?” Willa asked.

Ethan nodded. “Promise me that you are,” he emphasized.

“I am. I really am.”

She released her hand. He drew closer to her ear, whispering, “Be right back.”

She watched him stride away toward where she assumed were the toilets. God, Alden was the world’s biggest buzzkill.

She shuddered out of her unpleasant thoughts, returning her attention to the banter occurring beside her. She needed to refocus. She had therapy tomorrow and could discuss all of this with Marie if she still needed to.