Page 44 of A Certain Step (Midnights at Pemberley #1)

WILLA

W illa walked through her door and threw herself onto the sofa next to Sahar. The Golden Girls was again playing on the TV while Sahar was playing a game on her Switch.

Sahar looked up. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, but like shit,” Willa mumbled.

Sahar drew closer and squeezed her shoulders. “I had to put my phone down because I was ready to curse everyone out. Christian had to call and warn me against it.”

Willa grumbled, laying her head back against the cushion. She slid lower on the sofa. “Everything was so perfect last night, and then this happened.”

“Are things okay with you and Ethan?”

Willa nodded. “Yeah. He wants to say something and talked to his manager. I told him I trust him with whatever it is.”

Sahar smiled. “If you had to go through something as shitty as this, I’m glad it’s with someone like Ethan. Those voices will dim at some point. I also do have a bit of news for you that’d make you happy?” she questioned.

Willa narrowed her gaze. “Go on…”

“I dumpe d the prick,” Sahar said matter-of-factly.

Willa nearly jolted and sat upright. “What?”

Sahar clicked her tongue. “Yup. Man, something about watching Sam and Priya perform. I called him over. I didn’t want to be an arsehole and do it over the phone, but he refused to come. Said he was lazy. Told me to come. So I just dumped him.”

“What’d he say?”

Sahar belted out a laugh. “He called me a selfish whore and hung up.”

Willa’s eyes grew wide. She’d wring his neck in if she ever ran into him. “Are you kidding me?”

“Nope.”

Willa huffed. “We need to toast being called whores on the same night.”

Sahar brought her pinky to Willa’s. She took it. “Wouldn’t want to be a whore with anyone else but you.”

“Cheers, sister,” Willa started, then paused. “I really want coffee from Amanda’s. And a guava cheese strudel. Want to come with me?” she asked.

Sahar sat upright. “I don’t even like strudel, but I do weirdly want one. Let’s do it.”

A giddy excitement shot through Willa.

“Let me change out of my pajamas first,” Sahar noted.

Willa turned off the TV and rose to her feet. She dropped the clothes from her tote into the laundry hamper, then trekked to her room to change the outfit she’d been wearing. Rifling through her clothes, she settled on an oversized Bowie T-shirt and cycling shorts.

She didn’t want to let the voices haunt her. She wanted a routine as much as possible.

She’d get through it in time. She’d drown out the negative voices that didn’t matter and hype up the better chatter.

Her phone vibrated with a text from Ethan as she strode out of her room.

ETHAN

I have a request for you. Would you be willing to take June 28-30 off with me?

WILLA

That’s your birthday weekend. Did you have something in mind?

ETHAN

My parents have a cabin up north; I miss them, and there’s that spot I want to take you, too. I figured we could get away for a bit.

WILLA

Would we be able to get it off this late?

ETHAN

It’s a little over a month. I can’t imagine why it’d be a problem. I haven’t taken any vacation days since we started.

WILLA

I have. . .

ETHAN

The show hadn’t begun yet.

Oh, right, he had a point. She’d forgotten that minor detail.

WILLA

Your memory needs to be studied in a lab.

ETHAN

??

Is that a yes?

WILLA

It’s a yes.

ETHAN

??

Sahar wiggled on her Birkenstocks and joined Willa at the door. “A smile! Good news, I hope?”

Willa hadn’t even realized what expression she’d been wearing. “He wants us to take a few days off for his birthday and head up to his parents’ cabin.”

Sahar flapped her arms. “Gah. That sounds fun and everything you deserve.”

They locked the door, stepped into the lift, and went down to the lobby.

“How do you feel?” Willa asked, taking a big step to avoid a puddle outside their flat.

Sahar sighed with surprising contentment.

“I’m happy with my decision. He wasn’t good for me.

Seeing all these healthy relationships in front of me, you with Ethan, knowing you’ve always loathed the prick.

How he’d always cause some sort of an argument?

I’m happy to have him out of my life. Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a best friend who will later fall in love with me. ”

Willa laughed heartily. “I want that more than anything else for you.”

“But I’m swearing off men for a while. I need to be on my own. It feels like it’s all drained me—the fights, the one-way commitment. I don’t know how much more of myself I can give.”

“If that’s what you want, then I support you fully,” Willa said.

Sahar pursed her lips in thought. “I also think it’s high time I stop chickening out and dye my hair red.”

Willa gasped. Sahar had wanted to dye her hair red since they first met, always backing out at the last minute because she didn’t want to bleach her hair in the process.

Willa was the same in that regard; she’d only ever gotten lowligh ts.

Still, Sahar had always debated it. Every year or so, it’d come up, with no action following the temptation.

“I’m serious. Fuck it. I’ll make an appointment. Come with me and force me to do it. If I loathe it, I’ll dye it back.” Luckily, their jobs required wigs, so they could do whatever they wanted with their hair.

Willa looked on proudly, then pondered for an instant. Sahar should do it. It’d look smashing on her, and quite frankly, one of them should be brave in that regard. In response, Willa proposed a wager. “If you dye your hair, I’ll make a public post about Ethan.”

Sahar stopped in her tracks. Her mouth fell open. Willa had never publicly shared about any of her boyfriends before. The shock on Sahar’s face made her snort.

“Sod off. You’d never,” Sahar huffed.

She said it. She meant it. She’d do it for Sahar. And for Ethan, too. “You dye your hair, and I’ll post about Ethan on his birthday.”

Sahar lifted a finger. “On your feed. Not in stories.”

“On my feed,” Willa confirmed.

Sahar brought her hand over to shake. Willa extended hers.

“Then it’s settled,” Sahar declared.

When they got to Amanda’s Coffee, Jay greeted them from behind the counter. “Sahar, Willa—afternoon.”

Sahar looked at him with concern. “Mate, do you ever take days off? Is this legal?”

A closed-mouth chuckle escaped him. “I am the manager,” he reminded them. Sahar, more specifically.

“Yes, but even managers deserve time off,” Sahar replied.

Jay shrugged. “One called out. Another is sick, so here I am. The usual?” he asked.

“Yes, please, but add in another strudel. This one has influenced me,” Sahar answered, pointing to Willa.

Willa made a face that could be translated to “What can I say?”

They paid and watched Jay get to work while Dahlia took orders from the people behind them. Willa looked from the man behind the counter to Sahar.

Physically, they’d be stunning together. He was tall, with a strong bone structure, a great scruff, good hair, glasses, a booming, melodic voice, and a killer smile that seemed only to peek through when Sahar was around.

Jay wasn’t unfriendly per se; he was always respectful, but there was a clear difference in his demeanor when Sahar wasn’t around.

Willa had noticed it from the moment he and Sahar started talking about a football match, which led to conversations about a video game they’d both been playing.

Something told Willa that if Sahar hadn’t been taken, he would’ve figured out a way to spend more time with her.

“We should sit in here. We never have time to do that,” Willa pointed out, taking in the faux succulents and cactus plants covering the place along with the wall of vinyl records and old posters.

There were rows of adorable floral mugs aligned against another back wall, which made the place feel like the kind of shop they’d find back home in London.

The exterior decorations needed a bit more work, but eh, it’d pass. The interior deserved the praise.

Sahar agreed. “I got nowhere else to be.”

They sat down after their orders were called. Willa observed both Jay’s surprise at seeing them seated and the opportunities he took to steal glances at Sahar when she wasn’t looking. Ha! He had to have a thing for her. She loved being right.

“Jay’s a dir ector, yeah?” Willa asked, her voice low enough so only Sahar could hear.

Sahar took a bite of the pastry, eyeing Willa through her long lashes. “Mhmm,” she acknowledged.

“Have you seen any of the films he’s made?” Willa asked.

Sahar looked up finally and took a sip of her coffee. “I’ve been meaning to, but I haven’t gotten around to them yet.”

Willa tilted her head. “I wonder if Ethan has.”

“He has, actually. When we came here to grab drinks together the first day you went on as Elizabeth, he told Jay how he appreciated one of them. I put it on my watchlist after that.”

“Hmm,” Willa noted. It must’ve been sad if Ethan hadn’t forced her to watch it with him. He was banned from making her sit through anything too tragic for the rest of the summer.

She chanced another glance at Jay, who now had his back turned away from them and seemed to be writing something on a notepad. “He seems like a good person. I can’t exactly pinpoint how I know that, but he does,” Willa said aloud.

Sahar echoed the sentiment. “I get that vibe, too, but my radar can’t exactly be trusted these days.”

Willa narrowed her eyes, noticing the brief sadness flashing through Sahar.

“None of that negative talk. You’ve always known deep down that Martin was a prick, but you try to see the good people, even when they don’t deserve it.

And one of these days, when you least expect it, someone will surprise you, Sahar.

He’ll know what a bloody brilliant catch you are the second he spends five minutes with you, and all those wankers who hurt you will continue to be miserable morons for the rest of their sorry lives. ”

Sahar smiled. It was a little somber. “Seems like it was only yesterday I was giving drunk Willa a very similar talk in our kitchen.”

“And look how well that turned out for me,” Willa acknowledged.

“You’re a big sap now is what you are,” Sahar declared.

Willa lifted her coffee cup in a wordless toast. She was, she truly was.

How could she not be when she watched Ethan’s sadness torrent all over his incandescent blue eyes because she’d been in pain?

How could she not vouch for love when she knew with utmost certainty that Ethan would do anything for her?

How could she not see all the wonders of being adored when he promised her that she’d never have to go through anything alone, ever again?

Willa might’ve needed a moment to clear her mind, but she would overcome all of this.

She’d overcome the negativity and the hurdles.

She’d fight for him.

She’d fight for their love.

After a while, they said bye to Jay and Dahlia and headed home.

It also helped that Willa chose to stay off her phone, not wanting to see any more comments about her and Ethan’s relationship, even if they were positive.

It wasn’t until they were getting ready for bed that Sahar called out to her about Ethan making a post.

Willa came back out into the living room. “I’m scared to look at it.”

“It’s lovely and honest,” Sahar confirmed.

Willa wasn’t sure what she was in for. She knew he’d have his comments disabled, so obviously, she wouldn’t have seen anything adverse from that end, but still.

It made her nervous, a little—wait, no, very—anxious, too.

“Okay, hand it over,” she relented, reaching forward.

Sahar brought he r phone closer, already opened to a picture of them Willa didn’t even remember taking.

It must’ve been their set photographer, Gary Black.

It was back in Boston, and they’d been sitting on the floor, her head against his shoulder, a big, goofy smile across her face. The moment came to her suddenly.

They’d been watching Naomi and Declan run through “Stubborn Bastard.” Christian was on the other side of Willa, and they’d been watching from the wings.

Gary had come over to them and snapped a few shots of the whole cast. It was still in the early days of their friendship, and at the end of that day, they’d had their first movie night together, wherein she introduced him to another version of Pride and Prejudice with Death Comes to Pemberley.

He posted that picture on his feed with a red heart and disabled comments, then shared it on his stories with a statement.

Hi everyone. I wholeheartedly appreciate the tireless support and compassion in both my career as an artist and as a person.

You’ve been some of the best fans for the longest time, and I’m always deeply grateful.

But at the same time, the events from last night have forced my hand in addressing something that I wanted to keep private for a little bit longer.

I’m the happiest and best version of myself when I’m with Willa, who’s been my best friend and greatest source of comfort and joy since we met.

The vile comments are uncalled for, hurtful, and outright unnecessary.

The world is already a shitty place, and we could all use a bit of kindness amid all the turmoil we’re living through in our day-to-day lives.

Please keep this in mind when wondering if that assumption you’re going to make on the internet is something you’re proud of.

“I hate that h e had to do something like this for the first time in his career.”

Sahar sighed knowingly. “It sucks, yeah. But, Wills, fuck it all. You have someone beside you who’d do anything for you. You’ve got to keep reminding yourself that all those comments are just noise.”

“What if it gets more dangerous than that? What if some of those comments are from the same people who repeatedly stalked him when he was on Detective Vice?”

Sahar took her hand and squeezed. “Then we’ll deal with it. They haven’t been seen near the theatre since the show began.”

Willa knew Sahar had a point—she did—but it’d take some getting used to.

She also needed to stop being so anxious about social media because so much of her career relied on it.

It was always fine when she and Miles would post a choreographed number.

She never cared when she was part of group photos.

Still, all of this felt too intimate, and she’d have to learn to live with it.

But Rome wasn’t built in a day, and these things would take time.