Page 20 of A Certain Step (Midnights at Pemberley #1)

ETHAN

H e was going to kiss Willa, place his lips on her neck, skate his hand up her thigh, and draw his fingers along her breastbone.

Well, Darcy would do those things to Elizabeth, but today—maybe for the rest of the week—Elizabeth wouldn’t be Naomi.

She’d be Willa. His best friend. The woman he wanted more than anything—the woman he was sure he loved more than anyone else.

Ethan wasn’t prepared for any of it. What made matters worse was his certainty that she couldn’t possibly feel the same way. She’d be nervous, sure, but not for the reasons he was.

He couldn’t think of this as anything other than a performance.

He couldn’t risk slipping up. It wasn’t them.

It was an act. He’d touched Willa’s body and swayed with her many times, but despite how those instances had left him wanting, he couldn’t give in to the desires coursing through him.

He wouldn’t risk jeopardizing his friendship with her.

This could be like the other times.

It had to.

He was already sweating, and the spring humidity was coming in with full force. Ethan stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, setting the lever to the coldest temperature possible. He needed to forget. Snap out of it urgently.

The piercing water worked on his body, but his betraying mind still wandered.

Willa’s long, gorgeous legs, her beguiling lips, those beautiful brown eyes, her sweet, dimpled smile.

And good lord, her laugh—her breathtaking, perfect laugh.

He desperately wanted to play it on a loop like his favorite song.

Listen to it over and over and over again.

He scrubbed his skin like his life depended on it, as though the earthy-scented body wash would somehow whisk away his thoughts of her.

Nothing would help. He was a lost cause.

Ethan got out, reached for a towel to dry off, and braced himself for the most excruciating bout of self-control he’d ever have to exercise.

He secured the towel around his waist, planning to style his hair here instead of at the theatre, when a small creature wobbled into the bathroom with a loud meow.

“Shit, Tulip. I’m so sorry, girl. It’s been a hell of a morning,” he declared.

He forgot to feed his cat. Tulip meowed at him again, her little attitude more pronounced. “I’m coming. I’m coming. Let’s get you food,” he said.

He hurried over to his cabinet, opened a new can of wet food, and added it to the bottom of her automatic feeder bowl.

He was going to have a long day, and she might as well have some extra sustenance so at least one of them could experience a modicum of comfort.

He took her bag of dry food, filled the inside of the feeder, and added more water to the mini fountain before nuzzling her fluffy orange coat.

He bent down to place a kiss on the top of her tiny head before migrating back into his room to change and leave.

Willa was already on stage when he stepped in from the wings, taking the show from the top with Sahar for “Doors Open.” God, even the simple way she moved was transcendent.

She wasn’t doing anything other than walking, head in the clouds for the act, and it was already too much for him to deal with.

She wore forest green leggings with a matching sports bra and her hair in a high ponytail.

Ethan hadn’t switched out of his glasses yet, and a part of him didn’t want to now.

He thought of sitting in the stands and watching her.

Good lord, he almost sought to tell Christian to go on for him, fake an illness or something.

Except, he wouldn’t do that to Willa. He had to be the strong one for her debut—the anchor for any of her possible needs. If she even needed him at all.

Get your shit together, he nagged at his brain.

She spotted him after concluding the number, and her eyes flicked in his direction, a sweet smile rising on her lips.

He shuffled closer, taking her quickly into his arms. “You’re going to be amazing,” he whispered, loud enough so only she’d hear.

“Glad one of us has that faith in me. I’m extremely nervous,” she admitted.

He tucked his fingers underneath her chin, nudging her to look up at him. It doesn’t mean what you think it does, Ethan. She’s just nervous about the performance. These are common debut jitters. “Don’t be. I’ve got you. You can do all of this in your sleep.”

She nodded, the apprehension in her eyes mollifying a tiny bit. Ethan removed his fingers from her chin and slid his hands to her shoulder, holding her in place. He wanted to say something and toss a few more compliments in the ring, but he couldn’t speak.

He moved aside, letting her resume from the top, waiting until it was his turn to enter the scene.

With all their movements and singing occurring wh ile seated, “Bennet Sisters’ Interview” didn’t require much physical labor from the women.

Ethan couldn’t do his part without Sam yet, so he stood by until it was his turn for “Obstinate, Headstrong Girl.”

It was riveting to move beside her like an equal—to mark Darcy’s cold gaze upon her stunning frame. It was even more rousing to experience a new side of their rehearsals, a shift utterly different from their dynamic as friends.

The meat of “Smile More” and “Lost in the Lights” were heavier for the ensemble, leading to “Stubborn Bastard,” which required Declan, then to the “Midnights at Pemberley” title theme and one step closer to “Marry Me.”

One step closer.

They got into position for their small solo in “Midnights at Pemberley.”

He rubbed his palms up and down her bare shoulders.

She squared herself to start.

“You two are doing so great I can’t handle it,” Miles called out at one point. “We won’t be giving Dina an ulcer today,” he continued with a laugh.

Willa had turned to face him through a spin. “Keep throwing compliments at me, Miles, it’s helping,” she joked.

Miles obliged with a huge smile. “You’re a beautiful stage mermaid, Wills! At least I didn’t wake you up at four a.m. screaming because I had a dream about a video we should make this time around.”

Her dimpled smile morphed into a hearty laugh, and Ethan could swear her eyes shimmered. He was grateful for Miles’ charm at a time like this. Pleased that he knew Willa so well as a dancer.

Yes, Ethan and Willa had danced before, but watching her act like this was a breathtaking experience he wouldn’t ever take for granted. Watching her transform into someone else and evoke all sorts of emoti ons while simultaneously in his arms was a gift he’d hold onto for the rest of his life.

Smooth sailing was almost inevitable with Willa, as if their bodies were made to dance together. He wondered if she felt it, too—if it was as seamless for her as it was for him when they were together.

While many of these numbers required intimate moments—Darcy’s notable hand flex included to excite the audience—the ensemble’s presence made the movements far less daunting.

It was “Marry Me” he was shitting bricks about.

Ethan wasn’t a particularly religious man, but when it was time for “Marry Me,” he sent a prayer to the ethers. He implored for the strength to pull off the moves without keeling over in front of her, begging on hands and knees for her to be more than his friend.

Miles got closer to them, his hands animated, eyes twinkling with excitement and a bit of concern simultaneously.

“You two are dazzling together, but here’s where you need to be more mindful of your movements, E.

Willa is taller than Naomi and Lea, so you don’t have to bend as much.

But when you reach for her as you sing, “ Wait,” I want you to still carry some of that nervousness Darcy does.

Curl your shoulders slightly, and then you’ll straighten your posture again when you pull her up. ”

Ethan nodded, taking in Miles’ every word, trying to focus on nothing but the performance.

Miles clasped his hands together. “The most important thing to remember about this number is that the aggression is passionate. Darcy’s feelings are raw, and he’s deeply conflicted, so I almost want you to go even harder with all the movements.

Because Willa trusts you, and I trust you with her, I want your off-stage friendship to push through here because it’ll make the momentum more palpable. ”

Miles nudged Willa to face Ethan and instructed him to grab onto her forearm.

He did so and with as much force to create an impact without hurting her.

Miles turned to Willa then, gesturing the next movement himself for both of them to see.

“And you, my wondrous stage mermaid. You’re the most flexible dancer, so what if you bend back as much as possible when he grips your hand during the climax, then suspend it right as you touch the ground?

Lea can dip somewhat as low, but Naomi can’t.

I know you can, so I want us to use that.

Then you rise slowly and thrust forward but pause, a little too close for comfort before the kiss happens.

In other words, I want you to give Ethan’s leg the ladder treatment. ”

Willa let out a boisterous laugh. Ethan’s breath caught in his throat, and he tried to smile.

“Oof,” she noted, half joking, half something he couldn’t quite decipher. “Thoughts, Dina?” Willa asked.

Dina beamed. “I’m obsessed, and Team Miles on this one. He’s right.”

Miles grinned gleefully. “You have no idea how psyched I am to see this. Josie is going to flip out, too. I know she’d be so excited that you’re finally dancing in these numbers. Now, from the top, just the choreography, no singing yet. I want us to grasp the movements before we add the lyrics.”

Ethan and Willa positioned themselves, then she turned as if to walk away like Elizabeth was meant to. Ethan’s hand flew to hers, and he indicated for her to face him by tipping her chin with his other hand. They performed the start of the number rather successfully.

Miles continued to throw compliments left and right until they stopped right before the first kiss. Ethan’s glasses slid slightly down his nose, breaking the tension a bit.

“And perfect. We can hold the kiss since E’s in his glasses. Unless you want to take them off and try? But I think you should be good to work it into the moment since it’s you two. Now, let’s finally take it back from the top with music.”

They resumed positions. Naomi was a tremendous singer, and she could hold a note in a way Ethan hadn’t seen in all the years he’d been doing this.

She was one of the best scene partners he’d ever have vocally, but Jesus— Willa’s voice sounded the way happiness felt.

Soft and euphonious, filling his entire being with a melody he was sure he could feel in all two hundred and six of his bones.

He could drown in it, listen to it for hours, just like her laugh.

He had heard her sing before, but this was something else. This was magic.

Dina clapped heartily when they finished, stopping again right before the kiss. “I didn’t doubt either of you, I swear, but this last minute? I’m pretty sure my blood pressure skyrocketed at one point.”

Willa smiled, and Ethan did a small curtsy. “Would we ever let you down?” he said.

Dina shook her head. “Not ever. You’ve nailed the hardest bit once again, so take a beat, go get food, rest, whatever you guys need, and we’ll take on the remaining numbers when everyone shows up.”

Ethan faced Willa. “I’ll go out and get us food. What do you want?”

“Coffee,” she said.

“And?” he clarified, knowing something else was on her mind from the expression on her face.

She shut her eyes briefly. “Just coffee.”

“Wills, come on. You need food, so I want you to tell me before I get one of everything. Haven’t we been over this before?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t have an appetite, but you’re right. I probably should eat something. Blueberry bagel, please.”

“That’s my girl. What’s Sahar’s order?” he asked .

She thought about it for a beat. “Take her with you. She and Jay get on well. I’m sure he’d like to see her.”

Ethan narrowed his eyes, questioning the small but riveting fact.

Did Jay have a thing for Sahar? If so, he was certainly a better option than the clown she was currently dating, and though Ethan didn’t know much about Jay, he also seemed better than the assholes she’d previously dated.

He obliged Willa’s idea, turning to Sahar, who was half asleep in the audience seats.

The woman’s ability to fall asleep on any surface, comfortable or not, floored him. No pun intended.

“Sahar,” he called out.

She perked up and blinked, once, twice. “What, what’d I miss?”

“You and I are going to Amanda’s,” he stated.

She groaned sluggishly and pointed somewhere toward Willa’s vicinity. “Take her. I’m tired.” She seemed to be thinking something through, almost like it clicked in her brain that Willa was taking on the principal role tonight. “Alright, yeah, fine.”