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I press a hand to my belly and concentrate hard, willing it to happen again. When it does, tears flood my eyes. I wonder which one is moving. Maybe they both are. Maybe they’re fighting for space in some sort of prenatal sibling rivalry. As I bask in emotions while feeling the tiny flutters, my mind flashes forward to a hazy picture of them when they’re older. Will she look like me? Will he resemble Asher? Will they be as close with eachother as I am with my brothers? As Mia is with her twin, Dax? Will he protect her and always be there for her?
As much happiness as I’m feeling right now, I can’t help it when my tears turn sad. Christopher is the one who should be their protector. The big brother who would watch over both of them. He’d have been ten years old by the time the babies come. He could have held them, fed them, rocked them.
“I miss you, Christopher,” I whisper.
My mind shifts to thoughts of Darla. Isshegoing to be their protector? Or is she simply going to view them as an extension of me? Two more beings to be avoided. Possibly even resented.
Movement in my doorway has me wiping my eyes.
Natasha is holding a clipboard. “The Nelson wedding is this weekend. Do you want me to do it?” She looks up and takes a step inside my office. “Allie, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s just hormones. And no, I’ll handle the wedding myself. You’ve covered for me a lot recently and I’m going to need your help even more when these guys come.”
She leans against the doorway. “Are you planning on coming back to work after?”
My eyes snap to hers. “Of course. I can’t imagine walking away from the winery. I mean, yeah, I’ll probably cut back a bit, but I plan on being here as much as I can.”
“I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind if you set up a couple bassinets in the corner.”
I laugh. “I imagine they wouldn’t. But I doubt I’d get much work done.”
“You should hire a nanny.”
I cock my head. “I haven’t even thought that far ahead.”
She pushes off the wall. “Well, unless you need me for anything else, I’ll head out.”
“Go ahead. I’m leaving shortly myself.”
I don’t even notice I’m smiling until she points it out. “Based on the look on your face, I’d guess today is the day Asher is moving to town?”
I nod. “Their flight lands in thirty minutes.”
“I’m really happy for you, Allie.”
The way she says it is filled with both happiness and sadness. It’s no secret anymore how I once had and lost a baby. After telling my doctor, family, and friends, it didn’t take long until the entire town was filled in. Thankfully, most people have enough tact not to bring it up. But there have been a few instances. Like when I ran into Jason’s aunt and she had the audacity to scold me for ‘running away’ and keeping her from her great nephew. Or when that bitch Trina Sutter asked me if I even know what birth control is, this being my second accidental pregnancy and all.
“Thanks, Natasha. See you tomorrow.”
When she’s gone, I pull up the Delta flight tracker and start to get excited all over again. And apparently, I’m not the only impatient one based on the flutters I feel again inside me.
~ ~ ~
I’m waiting outside, practically bouncing from foot to foot. When I see the cab pull up, there’s not a thing in this world that could keep the monumental smile off my face.
But when I see Bug get out of the back, I realize how wrong I was.
Her face is red and puffy. She stares at the ground as she slings her backpack across one shoulder.
I want to throw my arms around Asher, but feel it would be wrong when Bug’s entire world just imploded. “Um… hi.”
Darla looks at me and I go to speak further, but she holds up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.” She stomps toward the front door, opens it, then disappears inside.
I turn to Asher, smiling sadly. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy and sad at the same time.”
He draws me into his arms. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” He leans down to kiss me. “Hi,” he whispers just before his lips graze mine.
“Hey, you.” I squeeze his arms. “I guess I don’t have to ask how the flight was.”