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“Yeah, kiddo.” He chuckles. “We’ll pay for Harvard.”
“And maybe a car when I’m sixteen?”
“How else will you be able to run errands for us or take the twins to the park?”
“Um, Dad, we live three blocks from the park.”
He just shrugs.
I love the relationship they have. It’s easy. It’s fun. It’s loving. And I love that I get to see that side of Darla now. The side she hid from me for so many months. What’s more, I’m excited about how that part of their relationship is now bleeding over into ours. Bug and I have become so much closer over the past month. Even this past week. We’ve laughed while doing laundry. We’ve horsed around while cooking dinner. She even told me she has a crush on a guy at school—although she wouldn’t reveal his name.
Progress. So much progress.
The babies cry. Both at the same time. The three of us all look at each other and laugh.
Asher stands. “Here we go!”
~ ~ ~
Cries wake me. I look at the clock. It’s three in the morning, basically the middle of the night, but I smile. Because it’s the first time I’ve been woken up like this since the hospital. Isla didn’teven let us have a baby monitor in the room. She took care of everything.
Now, not only do we have a baby monitor, we’ve got two bassinets near the bed. I sit up, looking over to see which one is awake. It’s Alex.
Asher hasn’t even stirred. He’s a much heavier sleeper than I am. I scoop Alex into my arms and take him to the nursery to change him. Then I feed him and sing to him, cherishing every single moment even though I’m dead tired.
When I return to bed and put him back down, I stare at him, watching his little chest rise and fall with every breath, knowing how lucky I am. I put my hand on his chest. “Goodnight Alex Christopher.”
As soon as I’m lying down, Asher’s arm comes around me. “You’re amazing,” he mumbles sleepily. “I was watching you.”
Right. The baby monitor.
He’s back asleep before I can respond.
A moment later, Christina starts to wake and whine. This time, Asher moves to get up. But I stop him. I stop him because this feels like my very first night of being a mom and I intend to enjoy it.
“I’ve got her,” I say, in spite of my heavy eyelids.
“But you did Alex.”
“I’ve got her.” I lean down and kiss him on the cheek. “Give me tonight, Asher. You can have tomorrow.”
Just like I did with Alex, I take her to the nursery, change her, then feed her and sing. I look at the camera and can almost feel Asher’s eyes on me. Somehow I know he’s watching. He’s always watching. Always making me feel special. Always telling me how much he loves me and our life.
Most of all, he’s always reminding me what a good mother I am.
When I put Christina down, I drift off before my head hits the pillow. And then I dream. I dream of a ten-year-old Christopher holding his little brother and sister. Of Bug teaching Christopher how to play soccer. Of Asher showing him how to become a man. Of family vacations to Disney World.
When I wake, it’s the first time I’ve ever not been sad after dreaming of him. Somehow I know Christopher is going to be in a lot more of my dreams, showing me the life that should have been. In my dreams, he’ll be at every birthday party. Every wedding. Every family gathering.
In my dreams, I’m going to watch him grow up and grow old. And he’s going to let me be the mother I never got to be to him.
Asher rolls over and sees me awake. “So how was it? Your first real night of motherhood?”
As my eyes graze over the sleeping twins, they catch on something just beyond the bassinets. I know the rising sun is playing tricks on me, but I could swear there’s a shadow behind them, protecting them somehow. And the shadow is about the size of a ten-year-old boy.
I smile at my soon-to-be husband. “It was the best night I’ve ever had in my entire life.”
Epilogue